I wanted to take a pair of chopsticks and shove them into my brain. Chin-hwa heard my piece for the showcase and not only had he torn it apart but he was determined to work with me on it now. How could he expect me to know what heartbreak felt like? I refused to think back to the Carter incident and Ben had yet to break my heart and I doubted he would. He told me I was one of the most important girls in his life and I didn’t want to think about what would happen if his mother won out. That meant planning for the worst and that made my eye twitch. 

At least Chin-hwa had to leave early tonight and I was too tired to stay. By the time I got home it was around ten-thirty. I didn’t bother getting in my pajamas before I started getting some ramen ready, I knew Skyler would be home soon so I made sure to get enough ready for him as well. And speak of the devil I heard the door open just as the noodles started boiling. “Hey best friend dinner will be ready soon!”

“It’s not Skyler baby.”

In disbelief I turned the heat down a little and walked out of the kitchen to find Ben standing there with a suitcase in his hand and my mother on his side. Wait just a damn minute. My mother?! “Mom-”

She threw her hands up and smiled widely, “Surprise!” Before I could respond she ran over and hugged me tightly. How was it she managed to always smell like that bakery across the street from our house? I wish I knew how I could make the combination of strawberries and bread smell so amazing. Once the shock wore off I hugged her back. I swear this is one of those moments where you don’t realize how much you missed something until you see them again. Sure I talked to her almost every weekend on Skype but actually being able to see her and hold her was completely different.  

“It’s really good to see you mom but,” I pulled back and smiled a little, “what in the world are you doing here? Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” I glanced back at Ben who just smiled at me and shrugged as he put the suitcase down. 

She sniffed the air and headed into the kitchen, which I was grateful for I could finish the ramen now.  Just as I reached the ramen and was about to ask again she smiled and shrugged. “When you said you couldn’t visit, I decided I wanted to see my baby girl no matter what. So here I am!” Sometimes I swear she acted younger than I did.

Grinning I finished cooking the ramen and turned the stove off, “So how long are you here for?” Turning a little, I strained to see where Ben was standing, “Babe, are you staying for dinner?”

He popped into the kitchen and smiled a little bit, “No actually I’m going to go home and get some sleep.  I’ve got that that trip to Busan tomorrow.”  He walked over, hugged me briefly and pecked me on the lips.  Right Busan trip I completely forgot about that.

I wanted to yell at him and tell him that he had to spend time with me but I knew that starting a fight, especially while my mother was here, would be a bad idea. “Alright call me when you’re about to leave and when you get there okay? I don’t care that you’re leaving at seven A.M. your better call me or I’m going to be paranoid the whole day you woke up late or you died in a car crash or you-”  Another kiss silenced my rambling before I could say anything else he told my mother goodbye and slipped out.  Sometimes I swear that boy walks too fast.

Oh God, that grin gave me chills. Mom was just way too happy about seeing Ben and I together. “Now aren’t you two just so adorable?”

Shrugging I tried my best to not smile too wide; despite myself I was happy that she approved of Ben so much.  “Yeah I guess so,” Okay maybe I couldn’t stop smiling, “how long are you going to be here for?  I’m sorry I didn’t give you a chance to answer before.”

Carefully she picked at her shirt and tried to hide a yawn.  “Just for a week and a half, your dad wants me home in time for the charity ball that we’re supposed to attend.” 

Humming a little I grabbed two bowls and got her some ramen before handing her a spare pair of chopsticks. One of the advantages of a family that was close friends with another Korean family they actually knew how to use chopsticks. She took it with a smile and started to mumble a little prayer for the both of us before digging in. Knowing her she probably didn’t eat on the plane, airplane food made her sick.

Speaking of dad, I wondered if he wanted to come as much as mom did, probably. Sometimes I hated the restaurants taking precedence over me. Then again I put my internship above a visit as well. “How is he by the way?  I haven’t been able to talk to him in a while since he’s been so busy.”

Looking up from her half empty bowl, mom wiped and leaned against the counter. “He’s good just a little stressed since food critics are supposed to come in soon to all seven locations and you know how he is he wants everything to be perfect.”

“Yeah that’s papa for you just make sure he doesn’t overwork himself and get sick again.”  She nodded and we ate in a comfortable silence for a little while. “So I made it past another round of elimination.”

She smiled and finished off her ramen, “That’s wonderful honey I’m proud of you, really I am.”

“Thanks mom I’m just…I’m scared you know? And not just for the internship, but I have a showcase in a little under two months and the song is nowhere near finished and I feel like I’ll never be able to finish it.” 

Taking my bowl from me as I finished she tsked and placed the bowls in the sink along with the others that were there. No doubt she was muttering about how she was going to have to clean that up while Skyler and I were away. “You’ve written so many songs and they’ve all been fantastic I’m sure you’ll figure this one out.” Gently she took my hand and started to lead me to the couch, “But what makes you say that you’ll never be able to finish it?”

“Well I mean…I’m trying to write a song about moving on from a relationship but I’ve never experienced it so I feel like I can’t get the lyrics to match the beat the way it should. It’s gonna drive me crazy mom. It’s not like I want to experience it you know. But I want to be able to write a variety of works for whatever company I end up working for.”

“Technically you have had to move on I mean Carter…”

“That doesn’t count mom. And I really doubt that Ben and I will break up and I don’t want us to either I love him.” Or at least that’s what I thought the concept of love always confused the hell out of me. “I’m just not sure how I’m supposed to know what it feels like and I don’t really have any good examples either.”

“Consider it your biggest challenge then. I mean you got out of the hospital in six months when they thought you would be there forever. You got over the incident and never looked back.” Sometimes I love and hate it when she’s right. “And look at you know. Sure you’re a little scared of planning still,” she smiled a bit at the annoyed look I gave her, “but you’ve grown so much. And you’ll do just fine.”

This was something I always missed about mom. As childish as she could be sometimes from dad spoiling the hell out of her she knew what to say at just the right time. Or she knew to make some Yorkshire or Sticky Toffee pudding and everything would be fine. I know I shouldn’t ask, but I just couldn’t help it. “Are you going to come to my showcase?”

She smiled and took my hand, usually a sign of promise for her.  “We’ll be there we wouldn’t miss it for the world baby girl.” Knowing that she would be there I instantly felt more confident about the song even though a part of me knew tomorrow I’d still want to bash my head into the wall over the chorus. 

Conversation finally took a lighter turn as mom started to tell the story of how the flight attendant wouldn’t stop hitting on her. Even when she flaunted her diamond wedding ring he didn’t stop. Not that I could blame him my mother was attractive especially for a woman her age. Plus I don’t think mom realizes she always has a flirty voice whenever she talks to someone new. Those that know her, like my father, realize it’s just her being nice but for those that don’t it can get awkward for them, well in this case her.

“I just don’t understand. Do I look like a cougar?”

“I don’t think it’s possible to look like a cougar mom I think you just are.”

“You’re saying I’m a cougar?”

Her appalled face and my tiredness finally just turned the whole situation hilarious and I nearly fell back into the couch with laughter. I tried to calm down quickly but whenever I looked at her worried face I just laughed harder. “Mom calm down,” I managed to gasp between laughs, “you aren’t a cougar it’s not like you’re sneaking around with eighteen year old boys while dad’s taking care of the restaurant.” Finally I calmed down a little bit and smoothed out my clothes pretending to be thoughtful. “Flight attendants think my mother is hot I wonder if they’ll hit on me when I’m older too.”

Frowning, mom picked up a pillow and fluffed it up a little before hitting me lightly with it. “Come here you haven’t been disciplined in a while.”

As she raised the pillow again I moved away looking for anything to defend myself with. “Wha-!” She moved forward and managed to hit me with the pillow again before I scrambled away and grabbed a pillow of my own for self-defense. “This is child abuse!”   

Bemused, mom lowered her pillow for a second and smirked a little. “You’re nearly twenty-three.”

Pouting I hit her with the pillow and ran away to the kitchen. “I’m still your child and this is abuse!”

“Oh come on take it like a man.”

I peeked out of the doorway of the kitchen and stuck out my tongue, “But I’m a lady!”

Before mom could respond the door opened and like a child afraid of being scolded she threw the pillow at me and straightened up for Skyler. It had to be him. “What’s up baby? I’ve got mandu and pepero and-” I stepped out of the kitchen just in time for him to notice my mother, “your mother?” He sounded annoyed and I was certain that he would switch into nagging mode in five, four, three, two- “Wait, why didn’t you tell me your mother was coming?” One. Yup forever a nag. “I would have actually cleaned this morning.  Thanks for making me look like I live in a sty, some best friend you are.”

Grumbling I tossed the pillows at him and pointed to my mom, “She didn’t tell me she was coming you punk now give me the mandu and pepero and no one gets hurt.” Have I mentioned that I hated that I had terrible aim and side stepped my pillow attack so easily.

He looked over at my mom and then back at me as if he was contemplating something. With a small sigh he walked over to me and handed me the food I demanded. Before I could even thank him he ran over to my mom and hugged her tightly. “Momma Crawford!  How are you? You look great is that a new hair cut?”

“Well I’m glad someone noticed!”

I knew she was referring to me it was rare that I ever commented on her hair. To be perfect honest though I hadn’t even noticed the change but leave it to Skyler to note even a centimeter of hair chopped off. Looking up from the mandu I stuck my tongue out childishly and scoffed, “I’m too much of a guy to notice those things, I’ll go and stuff my face with food and maybe drink beer or Soju and laze about all day like a true man.” If I wasn’t grinning they probably would have thought that I was serious. As I exaggerated a fake burp and sat down on the couch again, taking up as much space as possible the pair started laughing. Good, mission accomplished.

Once mom collected herself she pointed accusingly at me, though that grin was still on her face ruining any attempts to be serious. “Well Mr. Crawford you shouldn’t be eating this late you need to sleep.”

Oh very clever mom. “I’m not a baby mum besides you need to sleep more than I do,” looking over at her I raised a brow as she swayed a little, “you look like you’re about to pass out.”

She pouted a little and crossed her arms over her chest. Sorry mom I love you to bits but I’m not as easily swayed as dad is. Well unless you wave candy in my face but that totally doesn’t count right? “Just a few minutes ago you were declaring you were still a child.”

“Yeah, so you didn’t beat me with a pillow.”

Skyler pouted and whined, “Awww a pillow fight and I missed it?”

“More like interrupted it.”  Mom and I glanced at each other when we spoke at the same time and I couldn’t help but smile. Back home a lot of people asked if we were sisters since we looked so much alike and had so many moments where we said the same thing. That and mom does look pretty young for her age. How come she gets to age like fine wine and I feel like I’m aging like milk?

Still pouting he snapped his fingers, “Well darn. But momma Crawford Anais is right, you go to sleep and since it’s Saturday and we technically don’t have to be at Cube tomorrow,” he shot me a ‘you better agree with this or I’ll shoot you’ look, “we’ll go shopping tomorrow, okay?”

As expected, my mother grinned lazily and hugged Skyler tightly. Have I mentioned I love the relationship between my mother and Skyler? Because I really do. Sometimes I wish that Skyler wasn’t gay so I could just date him everything wouldn’t be so damn complicated. “Oh that sounds wonderful I’ve never been shopping here before.”

That’s because you’ve never been here mother. “Exactly! So you get some shut eye and Anais and I will go to sleep soon I promise.”

~~~~~

As promised we woke up around ten and after a breakfast of sausage, pancakes and eggs, as per my mother’s request, we headed straight for a nearby mall. At first mom was pretty overwhelmed, I don’t think she had seen so many shops out in the open like this before. She didn’t take long to adjust though, in about fifteen minutes she was already flying through a store that caught her eye and examining every purse with great scrutiny. I almost felt bad for the sales person who decided to ask how she was doing that usually ended in her using them as a personal rack until she decided what she wanted. 

Not wanting to get in the middle of the whirlwind when she found another store full of purses I hung back at another store where they were selling mostly jewelry. Dragon…dragon…stars….stars….more stars…oh look-wait nope stars…stars….four leaf clover….stars. Shoot me in the foot why can’t I find anything besides stars and tiny stuff in my budget? If I could I would smack something but then I’d have to pay for it. 

Skyler wrapped an arm around my shoulder and chuckled, “I don’t see why you’re spazzing out when your mom already said she was going to pay for everything.”

Oh I could feel a rant coming on. “Because I don’t want to be dependent on my family’s restaurant money forever you know. I’m not even taking over any way since I opted out of it. I’m just a backup in case something happens to mom or dad and Jacob isn’t ready to take over yet.”

“So you feel selfish using the money blah, blah, blah come on every once and a while won’t kill you.” He dragged me back to a stand and pointed to the case, “What about that one?”

Alright fine best friend, because I love you I’ll humor you. Looking inside the case I spotted the necklace that he was pointing at, a butterfly necklace with tiny diamonds in the wings. Probably cost a fortune.  Okay time to think up an excuse. “But aren’t butterflies more for spring? Normally you would yell at me for wearing stuff that’s in the wrong season.” I teased lightly, nudging him with my elbow. 

He smiled before asking the lady to pull out the necklace anyway and held it up to my neck. “That may be but they also represent change into something beautiful in my eyes. Maybe you could wear it for luck that Ben’s mother will come around soon?”

“I don’t really think that-”

“There you guys are!” Mother I applaud you for your timing. “You won’t believe the dress that I found I-oh that’s cute, are you going to get it?” I no longer applaud you for your timing. 

Skyler, of course, was beyond happy to know that my mother was on his side. Those two I swear if he was like forty something they would be best friends. “See Momma Crawford has good taste you should get it.”

Oh well the heck might as well these two are going to gang up on me until I do anyway. Carefully I took the necklace from Skyler. “Fine, fine but if his mom doesn’t come around I’m gonna beat you with your own stuffed animals.”

He scoffed unimpressed, “You can try.” Scoffing as well I called the woman over that ran the store and glanced down at the necklace again. Change huh? We’ll see about that.