Take the day off, he says.  Call your mother, he says.  You can’t go a whole week without apologizing to her.  Bah does this boy not know that taking days off are for pansies?  Besides that taking one day off could lead to me not having a job for the rest of the semester and I need a job.  Hello bills need to be paid.  Sure I could go job hunting again or ask for my old job at the library back but that’s not on the top of my list.  Neither was asking dad for money.  God no.  Stupid Ben why couldn’t he understand that?  I get he’s worried I’m overworking myself but still a little support from him would go a long way.

Chin-hwa decided to leave me for the day since he had a lot of meetings to go to and I was convinced that he had some hidden camera to make sure that I was working.  Possibly to show me off to the other teachers that I had heard complaining about their students before.  Yeah I would pretend that was the case. 

To be honest though I wasn’t working on a song for the company I was spending some time working in the showcase song that I had been neglecting for the past few weeks.  Jae-Sun was going to kill me if I didn’t work on it some but I just couldn’t find the right beat.  Everyone was doing a sappy love song so I was attempting to do a song about moving on empowerment.  All I heard from Jae-Sun was that it would be a good way to show my range.  The only problem was I never really had an issue with moving on.  There was the Carter fiasco which I didn’t really move on from I just buried and then I was single until Ben who I clearly didn’t need to move on from.  “Why is this so damn diffi-” All attempts to start complaining verbally were silenced when my phone buzzed. 

Work hard today ^^ but don’t work too hard stressing is never good kekek

Despite myself I smiled why was it that someone who was nearly a stranger gave me more support than someone I had known for nearly three years?  Though I knew I shouldn’t bother him, get off task and go against what Ben said I replied anyway.

Ah too late for that I’m already stressed T__T

I couldn’t even think about another note before my phone vibrated again.  Though all instinct told me to answer right away I opted to try and get a few bars done beforehand.  No such luck though.  Screw it maybe a little conversation will clear my head.

Nooooo don’t be stressed :( There’s still lots of time to finish your portfolio

How does he know about all this stuff?  Sneaky boy. 

But what I’m working on now is for a showcase for my school

Oh lord I shouldn’t have said that now he’s just going to be all curious and ask me all about it and I don’t even have anything planned.  Brain why do you hate me? 

Really?

Yeah and the topic my tutor chose I’ve never done before

And what’s that?  Before I could gather up the courage to respond properly without sounding weird he texted me again, Aigoo tell me later I’ve got to practice.  I’m not disappointed.  I repeat I’m not disappointed.   Carefully I started working on the song again, letting myself get lost in composing. 

Decent progress was made but as soon as I started listening to it again it just didn’t seem right.  It wasn’t that sad but understanding beat I wanted and didn’t match the lyrics I made at all.  But the problem is I couldn’t figure out what was wrong the lyrics or was it the music itself?  Maybe it needed more layering?  And it wasn’t like I had all the time in the world either.  I need to get this done at least three weeks ahead of time so Jae-Sun could learn it and perform the piece.  Ugh some days I swear I could just bash my head into a wall.

I looked over the lyrics about seven times when my stomach started to grumble dangerously.  Just when I was about to get up to get something to eat a timid knock on the door startled me.  Inching closer I saw a woman shifting uncomfortably at the door as she waved at me a bit.  Still wary I opened the door and was presented with a box of chicken and a small container of rice.  What in the world.  “I didn’t send for any food.”  The shock was evident in my voice as she placed the food down. 

“This was ordered for you and he told me to tell you to eat it well and to not skip anymore meals it’s bad for your health.” 

“Oh…um give me a second I’ll get my wa-”

She held up her hand and smiled a little bit, “Already paid for you don’t have to.”  With that she gave a small bow which I returned without thinking and disappeared.  Leaving me with that delicious smelling chicken and rice but who in the world would give that to me.  Skyler would be way too busy with his dancing to even think about it.  Hesitantly I sat down on the chair near the table and opened the box, all spicy chicken.  “Okay definitely Ben he’s the only one besides Skyler that knows I love spicy chicken.”  I’d have to thank him later for sure.  Quickly I sent him a simple text saying I loved him and before I could take my first bite he responded.  I love you too but either I did something amazing without knowing or you did something bad?

Smiling a little I just told him that he was amazing before digging onto my food.  I honestly hadn’t realized how hungry I was until I started eating.  I wasn’t surprised that happened though skipping breakfast probably is never one of my better ideas.  The food was devoured quickly and for a second I almost wished there was more it was so good but I knew even one more bite I would pop. 

To my surprise, and satisfaction, food was delivered to my room every day for the next week and a half.  At first Chin-hwa seemed surprised but since I shared the lunch with him when he had the time to stay instead of just look over my work.  Not that I minded, I always liked company when I was eating and who could resist spicy chicken it’s like heaven in your mouth. 

I was surprised one day to find beef galbi, kimchi and rice delivered instead of the chicken.  Ben didn’t know how much I loved beef galbi or at least I didn’t think so.  Maybe he was just trying to switch it up and showed me he paid more attention that I thought?  Oh well.  As always I thanked the person that delivered the food with the promise I would eat it well.  I think he was trying to fatten me up since there was no way I would be able to eat it all. 

A few minutes later the door opened, not looking up I figured it was Chin-hwa so I turned and was about to bow and offer him to join me only to see Kikwang standing in the doorway with an almost secretive smile on his face as he glanced at the food and then me.  “Kikwang, what are you doing here?”  I asked before I could stop myself. 

He just shrugged, closed the door behind him and walked over.  “Well I was walking by and I smelled food so I thought I would try to steal some from you.”  Of course, I would do the same thing if I knew the person that had the food as well.

I gestured to the food with a small smile, “Help yourself there is no way I can eat all of this anyway.”

He laughed and took another set of chopsticks and picked at the galbi a bit.  “Then why did you get so much?”

Blushing a little, I looked away from him and chewed slowly on the kimchi suddenly feeling kind of silly and dependent on Ben.  “I didn’t, someone, or well Ben I think has been getting me lunch for the last week and a half.  I mean I feel like I’m taking advantage of him but at the same time I’m really grateful.”

His smile faltered for a second before he shrugged and took another piece of galbi with some kimchi this time.  “Well he just wants you to be healthy I’m sure, can’t blame him for that.”

“You’re right it’s just uncharacteristic of him.  The only time he’s bought me food like this was during finals last semester.”

Kikwang was silent for a while and I couldn’t help but wonder if I said something wrong.  I couldn’t have though, right?  Just when I was about to start talking again the smile returned to his face.  “You know what I just realized?”

Warily I looked over at him; whenever I saw that glint in anyone’s eyes I knew it was certainly not a good thing.  “What?”

The smile grew and he pointed his chopsticks at me.  “You still owe me a secret.”

“What?!”

Victoriously he leaned back in his chair and waved the chopsticks at me almost teasingly.  “Remember a few weeks ago I told you that since you had to do a rain check you’d owe me another one.”

Pouting and crossing my arms over my chest I hoped that maybe that would be enough to deter him. Then again my pouts were nowhere near as cute as the ones he probably saw from other female celebrities.  “Come on Kikwang that’s not fair.”

He paused for a moment and I thought that I had actually convinced him to not “Fine, don’t do it but you’ll owe me another one then.”

You dirty punk I’ll find some way to get you back.  Maybe I’ll ask Skyler to unleash his stuffed animals on you.  “I’m regretting making that promise on the plane now.”

“Ah well fate is a brat isn’t it?”  He grinned and I rolled my eyes and automatically leaned over to punch him.  Though I blushed a little bit I mean wasn’t fate usually didn’t mean that I had to reveal a bunch of secrets to someone.  Ugh I hate my mouth sometimes.

“Fine, fine you win.”  I waited for him to say something but he just looked at me expectantly.  Drawing this out as much as possible I ate a few pieces of galbi and some rice and just when I was certain he was getting annoyed I grinned a bit and finally spoke.  “When I was fifteen I wanted to run away and join the circus because all the girls were so pretty and talented.  Of course then I saw the movie It and all that went down the drain for me.” 

Stifling his giggles he took a few more pieces of galbi.  “So what did you want to be a tight rope walker?  You’re tiny enough.” 

Blushing furiously I reached over and lightly hit his arm again to which he just laughed more and swatted me away with his chopsticks.  “Hush I’m not that tiny but yes, yes I did and I think I would have been amazing at it.”

Suddenly he turned stopped laughing and turned almost serious.  “Well I’m glad you didn’t.”

A lump formed in my throat and I tried to swallow it down before responding.  “What?”

He smiled a little and took another piece of the galbi, “Join the circus.  If you had I probably never would have met you.”

Really?  Leaning back in my chair I shook my head in disbelief but despite myself I smiled a little and tried to hide that from him.  “Aish I swear you I’m not an interesting person.”  I don’t think I’ll ever understand why he was so intent on making me ‘understand’ I was an interesting person or whatever. 

“I’m going to have to disagree on that one but if you want to think that way then well I can’t stop you can I?”

Narrowing my eyes at him I pointed the chopsticks at him accusingly.  “What are you up to muscle boy?”

“Nothing at all.”  That smile didn’t convince me that it was nothing.  But I didn’t push it anymore knowing that even if I bugged him and bugged him about it he wouldn’t tell me.  I’d find out sooner or later I’m sure.  We ate in silence for a little while before he got a text and judging by the way he was grumbling he had a schedule he was going to have to go to.  Somewhat awkwardly we said goodbye and he disappeared leaving me alone again and the room felt emptier than usual. 

For the next week every day that the food came, Kikwang appeared a few minutes later as if he knew exactly when it would be there.  I tried to refuse the food but every time the deliver insisted that I take it.  Each day goodbye got a little less awkward.  We went from waving and slight bows to smiles and finally hugs.  At first I wasn’t sure how to hug him but eventually his boyish smell became familiar and I expected it and felt comforted by it.  The fact he gave amazing hugs too helped.

On a Friday after we ate together and he was told to get to his schedule I actually stood up first and held out my arms demanding a hug.  He smiled and hugged me tightly and without him noticing I sniffed his shirt, I swear whatever cologne he’s using every boy should use it.  “Anais?”  I just hummed lightly letting him know I was listening.  “I’m going to be really busy the next few weeks so you better start packing your lunch again.”  His voice was soft and almost teasing that it took me a few seconds to realize what he said. 

Pulling back a bit I looked at him in disbelief.  “You’ve been the one buying me food?”  Now that I thought about it, that kind of made sense I mean Ben didn’t even know what room I was in.  “But-but why would you do that?”

He searched my eyes for a bit before tucking a stray strand of hair behind me ear and smiled softly.  “I told you I care about your wellbeing.  So you better remember to eat even when I’m not around to make sure you do okay?”

What could I even say to that?  “I-”

“Good.”  He dropped his arms from around my waist and seemed to contemplate something for a moment before he leaned over and kissed my cheek quickly.  “Bye Anais.”  With that he practically ran out of the room.

A few minutes after he was gone I touched my cheek and I knew that I was blushing.  So he had been getting me food for the past two weeks?  I wasn’t entirely sure how I felt about that.  Why did he care so much?  And I seemed so ungrateful the way I assumed it was my boyfriend.  I knew I would have to make it up to him the question was how.  I did know though, that the recording room felt emptier than usual now.