I hoped that after a good night’s sleep I would feel better and maybe figure everything out.  That was not the case.  In fact, when I woke up and saw the charm bracelet next to my bed I wanted to ground to swallow me and never spit I back out.  How could this happen?  I was perfectly content with being close friends with Kikwang but no he had to go and kiss me and mess everything up.  There was no way that it would work.  The tiny part of me that told me it would work was constantly squashed my insecurity and worries.

“Hey you said yourself you believe in fate so if you’re meant to know we’ll meet again right?” 

Groaning painfully I rolled to the other side of my bed, wrapping myself in the blanket in the process.  Moreover, when he gets back what was I even going to say to him?  I am sorry I do not believe this will work even though I might as well have led you on for the past year.  No.  But did I really lead him on?  I mean I was just comfortable with Kikwang.  With him, I was not afraid to eat like a pig or dance like an idiot, as I am with others.  Though I have to admit when he attempted to teach me the dance for Fiction, I nearly died of embarrasament anyway.  However, it was worth it to see him smile like that. 

He was always smiling for me though even when he should not.  I have been way too selfish with him.  Like when he was injured last year at one of their United Cube Concerts, he refused to be sad around me.  Which led to an argument somehow, I honestly cannot even remember what we said to each other.  We did not fight often but every time he was the first one to apologize, I had chalked that up to me being stubborn but now guilt was setting in.  There were so many things I had to apologize for and I love how I just think about it now.  Leave it to me to feel the wrong emotions all the time.  I felt like a selfish, guilty and demanding friend who may or may not have led on the sweetest boy in the world on. 

Now my brain hurts.

Maybe I should just turn listen to music all day and eat gobs of candy and food.  But when I tried to move my arms, I could not find the strength and suddenly all motivation to get out of bed disappeared.  Who needs to eat anyway? 

After laying in the same spot for what felt like hours but was probably much shorter I rolled over and grabbed the bracelet Kikwang gave me.  Despite how guilty I felt I could not fight the smile off my face looking at the small present.  The little details he noticed always amazed me.  Like how he noticed I was not eating or when my mood was sour no matter how hard I tried to hide it.

“Noona can you help me with this?”

“Go ask one of your hyungs”

“But you’re the best at it!”

“Dear God that smile.”  That smile of his is going to ruin the chance for any other man to give me butterflies from a smile.  I wonder if he realizes that.  But shouldn’t that mean I wanted to be with him?  Why was this so difficult?  Carefully I put the bracelet back and sighed hopelessly, “Maybe I should just become a nun.”

“Oh please you would take one look at yourself in that outfit and run the other way.” 

Pulling my covers down I bit I pushed myself up to my elbows and glared over at Skyler who was leaned against the doorframe, smirking.  Why hadn’t he gone out?  Didn’t he have some date to go to so I could wallow in my misery alone?  “What are you even doing here lover boy?”

“I was going out but I think you need a good kick in the pants before I go anywhere.”

I knew I should be grateful or at the very least scared for whatever it was that he had planned.  “What, you’re going to beat me with stuffed animals?”  Almost immediately, after I said that a stuffed bear was thrown at me.  “Hey!  Skyler loo-” Before I could finish what I was saying he threw another stuffed animal at me.  “Stop it I just want to be left alone.”  I tossed the stuffed bear back at him and tried to crawl back under the covers. 

He stomped over, ripped the covers clean off the bed, and threw them away.  Before I could even yell at him for being rude, he pounced on the bed and tried to grab me.  “I am not letting you sit around all day feeling sorry for yourself!”

I tried to wiggle away from him but he grabbed my wrists and pinned me down.  When did he get so strong anyway?  “And why the hell not?”

“Because this is stupid!  He wants you and you want him despite how much you try to hide that fact.  And leading him on like this is preposterous!”

Okay ouch you’re like half a foot away from me I can hear you just fine.  Growling I flipped us over and ripped my wrists from his grasp.  “I’m not leading him on.  Take yourself and your big words I’m too tired for and,” I stood up and pointed to the door, “go away!”

He made no motion to leave; in fact, he just sat up on the bed and crossed his arms defiantly over his chest.  “Oh yes you are!  Eating with him all the time, texting and calling him more than his own mother does, making food for him-”

Why does he have to bring up things I was already kicking myself for?  “Well I-”

“Doing chores for him-”

“But he-”

“Going to performances and giving him more lines in songs-”

“But-”

“And he’s not any different!  He buys you food, becomes your date when others continuously stand you up!  Listens to your ranting and raving-”

How is it he knows how to rip my band aids away so easily?  “Skyler stop-”

“In fact if this was the Middle Ages I would say you were courting each other like some prince and potential princess.”

Without thinking, I stepped closer and shoved him back my face burning with anger and embarrassment.  “Damn it Skyler shut up!  It wouldn’t work okay!”  I stomped over to my dresser where a framed picture of Kikwang and I sat.  “Look at him.”  I walked back over to Skyler and practically shoved the picture in his face.  “Look at him!  How can I possibly deserve someone like him?  Now, that, my annoying best friend is preposterous.”

He did not say anything for a while he only looked at the picture with the darkest expression I think I have ever seen on his face.  Grumbling I my heel and walked towards the kitchen hoping to escape.  “You’re scared that it will work out aren’t you?” 

I froze at the doorframe; I could not move a muscle despite how much I tried.  “What did you just say?”

“I’ll take that as a yes.  Anais…what happened to the girl that was not concerned with the future and planned to do whatever she felt was important to her despite the possible crash and burn in the future?”  I heard him shuffle behind me but I still could not make myself move a few seconds later he wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder.  “Okay, I get it; you lost a boy that you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with because he couldn’t handle it.  You know you don’t want someone like that.  Not to mention he is not worth a relapse after how hard you have worked to get to where you are now.”

I wanted to kick and scream and pitch a fit but mostly I wanted to cry.  How was it that he was able to see exactly what I was feeling even when I did not realize it?  I did not want to believe that I was scared that things between Kikwang and I would go farther but that was not fair to him and me, to be honest.  “Why do you always have to be right?  It makes me want to punch you in the face.”

He hugged me tighter and sighed, “Usually I would be scared or offended but today I’ll let it slide.  Now I am going to rub it into your face more.  Remember when you met Ben and he had that bad boy attitude and you were convinced you could turn him into a prince?”

Do not make David So jokes do not make David So jokes or I am punching you for real.  Seriously, Skyler do not do it I am not in the mood to laugh.  “Yes what is your point?”  I grounded out hoping he would realize I was not in the mood for joking yet. 

To my surprise, he spun me around and shook my shoulders harshly.  “You have a boy who is already a prince and you are going to let him slip through your fingers?  You crazy fool I thought I taught you better than this!”

When he did not stop shaking me, I finally reached up and yanked his hands away stepping back a little.  “He’s a prince with loyal subjects that will skin me alive!”  Sure, I had become a b2uty but that did not mean I was not scared of their reactions.  I read articles about what happened when that boy from MBLAQ started dating that girl.

“Oh pft please, again who cares about what happens later I am sick of your single moping around this house like death is hanging on your shoulders.  Get your out there and get your man!”  He pointed towards the door and rested one hand on his hip waiting impatiently for me to leave though I think he forgot I was still in my pajamas. 

Patting his head, I slipped past him and back into my room.  “Skyler…he’s not coming back for a few days.”

I heard him mumble something under his breath before he his heel and headed straight for my closet.  “Then get out there and lets buy some clothes for your man and then you pounce him when he gets back fool.”

Pouting I sat back on my bed and crossed my arms over my chest.  “But I don’t want to go shopping.”

He laughed and pulled out a black long sleeved shirt with a baby Darth Vader on it and held it out in front of him towards me.  “You act like you have a choice in this ha that’s cute.”  Satisfied with the choice of shirt he slung it over his shoulder and dug around for a pair of jeans. 

This little punk thinks he can order me around.  “I do have a choice I don’t want to spend money and don’t you have a date in like an hour?”

He scoffed unimpressed at my excuse and finally picked out a pair of jeans.  “I’ll call him up.  My baby understands that when my wifey needs help she comes first especially when it comes to your wardrobe and love life.  In this case the two just go together.”  He turned to me, smirking in satisfaction and tossed the clothes at me.  “Now get your up and get in the shower if you’re not up in the next five seconds I’m going in there with you and washing you myself.”

I looked down at the clothes and them back at him a few times.  “You have got to be kidding me.”

Raising a brow, he smirked devilishly, “One.”  He did not need to say anything more.  I darted out of my bedroom and into the shower locking the door behind me.  I heard him laugh boisterously behind the door and I could not help but smile a bit he really was the best friend I could ever have. 

I came out in a towel to the perfectly laid out pants and shirt along with my silver hoop earrings, a necklace, and undergarments and a little note.  It would figure that Skyler would get that bored and write a note as well.  You better wear the hoop earrings with this or I’m beating you with stuffed animals – love your boo <3 Yup he is my best friend forever.  After I changed, wearing the earrings I he demanded, I cracked the door open to find Skyler standing there with my purse in hand and sunglasses on the top of his head.  “We’ll get some food once we get there now take your purse wife we have a lot of shopping to do.”

“Is this really needed?  Can we just get a new shirt or something?”

“Nonsense you need to have new clothes for him to see silly girl you dated a boy for two years don’t you know anything about this?”

“That’s only if we get that far he may have changed his mind.”

“I’ll beat him-” he glared at me lightly “-and I’ll beat you if you try to avoid him when he gets back.  No, I will not beat you; I will kill you and then drag you back only to lock you in a closet with him until you talk.  Now come on we’re starting with shoes.”

“Wait I-” I barely had time to grab my purse before he took my arm and dragged me to the door.  Again, I had barely time to get my comfortable shoes on before he dragged me out the door and to the elevator.  “Can we at least stick to nothing too extreme?”  He was silent while we waited for the elevator and through the elevator ride and while we walked out the apartment lobby door.  “Seriously Skyler I do not want to go into the section where all the really skinny girls go you know I get self-conscious and I’ll probably run away and-” 

He cut off my rambling by laughing again and wrapped an arm around my shoulders.  “Would I really do that to you?”

“Yes.”  I deadpanned and he just laughed harder, drawing odd looks from those that passed by. 

“Alright fair enough but I promise we won’t trek all over the mall.  Pinky swears.”  He removed his arm from my shoulder and held out both his pinkies.  I tried not to smile and linked my pinkies with his. 

With our pinkies still linked, I stuck my tongue out at him.  “I’m holding you to this boy if not I’m killing you in your sleep.”

Skyler rolled his eyes and unhooked our pinkies, shoving his hands in his pockets.  “Well that’s a nice image best friend it’s good to see you’re in a better mood.”

Of course, I could tell he was being sarcastic but who could pass up poking a little fun at him?  Not to mention I still was not in the best mood despite how hard I was trying.  You go through a morning of self-loathing it taking a little while to bounce back.  “Who said I was in a better mood?  Maybe you’re going crazy.”

“Nope you’re in a better mood I see you trying to fight that smile of yours.”

“Sure I am.”  Yeah we both have far too much fun with this.  “It’s great that I got a verbal slap in the face from my best friend that made me super cheerful.”

He pouted and poked my stomach a little too hard.  Punk I will get you for that.  “Hey now you needed that.”

I poked him back just as hard and he pouted but I could see he was trying to fight a smile.  “What’s your point?”

“My point-” He was cut off when suddenly the bus we had not noticed pulled up next to us took off.  Skyler stomped on the ground and threw his hands up in the air.  “That was our bus you made us miss the bus.”

“I did?  I call bull you’re the one who got all upset when I told you I would kill you in your sleep.”

“Well typically when you tell someone that you’re going to kill someone they get just a little bit upset.”  We stared at each other in silence for a minute before bursting out into laughter, holding on to one another for support.  It took a few minutes and some rather perturbed stares from those that passed by before we calmed down. 

Smiling up at him, I punched his shoulder lightly.  “Seriously though thank you Skyler I needed to be verbally abused a little bit.”

“You know I had a whole speech planned out?  But I kinda forgot it when I started talking to you.”

“Nut.” 

“I know but you love me.”

“True I do.”

Thankfully, we did not miss the next bus and managed to make it to the mall in one piece.  While he kept, his promise and we did not go into every store he still made me try on at least a hundred things.  And we took way too many photos.  Note to self I am never trying to play around in heels again that’s freaking painful.  I think the thing I wondered about the most was how in the world Skyler managed to get so many deals so we came out with our arms full of bags and money still in our pockets.  The man is a genius I tell you.  Now if only if semi-pep talk will keep me from running away when Kikwang returns then I just might let him turn me into a willing Barbie for a day.  Maybe.