I woke up startled, sunlight streamed in freely through the open doors. I sat up immediately feeling disoriented, my heart beating fast. I realised I was on the bed still wearing my mother's kua with my hair down. What had happened last night? Was it really a...

"Are you feeling better young mistress?" came a concerned voice. I looked up to see a pretty maiden wringing a towel dry. Before I could decide whether she was human or not, she passed me a bowl of soup, I gulped it down, as I didn't have dinner.

"I hope you're fine now, we found you unconscious by the door." she finished off with a sad smile

"My name is Song Qian, I'm a servant here." 

Song Qian was nice enought to help me dress into my pale green cheongsam as I was still weak and shaken from last night's events. Again I felt a shiver up my spine as I thought of it, Song Qian had seemed to sense my apprehension and passed me a yellow slip of paper folded into a small triangle, it was an amulet!

"Just in case!" she patted my hand and smiled.

Since it was her first day as the Lu's official daughter, I was required to serve morning tea to my in-laws. I was runnng a bit late and judging from my step mother-in-laws face, she wasn't pleased.Father-in-law's face was as expressionless as before and he didnt even speak a word,only a nod of his head when he saw me.

I poured the tea with shaky hands, serving father-in-law first before step mother-in-law.

"Such bland tea..." Step mother-in-law eyed me with contempt, I bowed my head at her words.

"No time for this, Fei. I have to prepare for the trip to Guangzhou." Father-in-law's voice was filled with authority. 

They proceeded out of the main hall,leaving me there feeling relieved.

 I went about doing my duties with a little help from some of the servants and maids, mostly from Song Qian, Song Qian was exceptionally patient and nice to me. I was able to communicate with her by writing the words on her palm and I learnt that she was only a few years older than me. Throughout the day I could almost say that I was enjoying doing the chores knowing I had someone like Song Qian around. By mid day we all had to send father-in-law off, step mother-in-law fussed around making sure everything was right before bidding him off. As we turned to enter the house my shoulder was rudely knocked by someone. I turned to the side to see step mother-in-law sauntering ahead of me into the house.

Soon, it was dusk, dinner was served to me in that room; my room. Fear gripped me again, but I remembered Song Qian's words... " Put aside your fears and face it bravely if you want to live, especially in such a household. I held the amulet she had given tight in my palm, if I was going to live in the Lu's for the rest of my life I was going to face whatever it was in that room. If I was going to die than that was too bad, but I wasn't going to live a life like this, cowering in fear. As I thought about it, I realized that I had nothing left to lose anyway.

The bowl for my deceased husband was set opposite with the chosticks placed across the rim, as I picked up my chopsticks, a gust of wind blew throught he room making the candles flicker wildly, the wind managed to knock the pair of chopsticks off the bowl set opposite me. My body stiffened as I grabbed my amulet.

I went over to pick the pair of chopsticks with one hand gripping the amulet, ready to flash it at whoever or whatever it was. I shivered again and than I heard it... one, two, three steps. 

I held out the amulet immediately not daring to look up.

" I'm really sorry about yesterday, I didn't mean to scare you." a gentle,calming voice spoke out.

I steeled my heart for what was in front of me, slowly, I stood up and opened my eyes... 

I had finally seen my husband.

LuHan stared back at me with a gentle gaze. He had an elvish face with handsome gentle features instead of what I had expected, and  he was dressed in a western blue vest over his dress shirt with matching trousers, typical of a young man of his status, but this was all wrong... His ghostly pale white pallor differentiated him from the living.

I backed off and went back to the table and grabbed my chopsticks continue with dinner, anything to distract myself from LuHan. The amulet was obviously useless. I kept my head down and concentrated on the food as LuHan sat himself opposite me, white candles brought the scent of food to him, since they were non-living things they didn't need food, but out  of respect to the deceased they were offered food for the enjoyment of taste.

"Yanchen, That's your name right?" LuHan's clear voice broke through the silence.

I nodded still not daring to look up at him.

The servants came not long later to clear the dishes,after they had left a clear,distinct click was heard. I was locked in again...

"I-I'll let you have some rest now, goodnight." this time I could detect a hit of sadness in his tone, but I was very relieved to be left alone.

I dared myself to look up and he was gone, the chiily air in the room was replace by the hot summer air.I sttod up and headed to my trunk to find my sleeping wear, a beautiful rosewood chest then caught my eye.

 The chest was well lacquered with mythical creatures carved intricately on it in, gold framed the edges and the lockhole, which stood out very well with the maroon surface. Slowly,I tried to lift the cover and to my surprise it was unlocked!

Inside the chest was books, a few letters, pamphlets of anti-japanese propaganda, brushes and a few scrolls. One book however caught my eye, the Book of Odes. The Book of Odes was a collection of love and philosophical poems that dated back to the tang dynasty, it was extremely rare because most of it was destroyed when the Qing dynasty was overthrown, revolutionists had wanted to get rid of all things that had to do with the old world. I had wanted to borrow it from someone but I didn't get it, and now here it was right before me!

Happiness bubbled in me and I had clean forgotten LuHan and the fact that I was locked in, I started to flip through the book excitedly, I had got to a page when a yellowed envelope slipped out.

I picked it up and noticed a name written on its front, Bai QiaoRong...

I turned back to the page where it had fell from, it was a poem called The Song of Divination,

I live upstream, and you downstream.

From night to night of you I dream,

Unlike the stream, you are not in view.

Though both we drink from the river blue,

When will the river flow no more?

When will my grief grow no more?

I wish your heart to be like mine, 

Than not in vain for you I pine.

It was a beautiful poem of something not to be, of a lovesickness so fatalistic yet too much to let go off. It hit me hard and I felt emotional, I was so moved I decided it would be one of my new favourites. I decided to copy it down, grinding the charcoal briquette with a little water from the teapot, I wrote it out in my best caligraphy with a brush from the chest. Finally I had written it all down, satisfied with my caligraphy, I left it next to me to dry. My lids were already drooping as I flipped through the book for more treasures, soon I gave in to sleep, without knowing my head had already rested on the table, eyes shut.

Unbeknownst to her, LuHan returned to the room. He sighed at the sight of the sleeping girl, walking over to the table he saw the poem YanChen had written. LuHan's eyes widened as he read the poem over her shoulder, he knew he shouldn't but curiosity got the better of him... Rather than written he realised YanChen had copied the poem from his favourite book. That poem was the exact poem that held a special place in his heart, something in which he should have let go as he crossed over to the otherside. LuHan felt exposed and vulnerable,it as if someone had read his intimate thoughts.

She didn't know did she? How could she know anyways...

As much as LuHan wanted to wake YanChen up to ask her to rest on the bed,he couldn't do so as touching the living would cause harm to them.LuHan lay on the bed and stared at the sleeping girl's back. His thoughts wandered back to where he had overheard the conversation between cook and Fengjie.

"Poor girl sold off to be a dead man's wife" exclaimed cook.

"Aiya some just have such cruel fate, such a young and sweet thing, what a pity she's mute, otherwise she could have married into a better family than this crumbling household..."

Indeed some just have such cruel fate, LuHan wasn't the only one he thought.