this distance. | ft lee jinki

"Why aren't you holding me back?! You don't love me AT ALL!", I heard him scream for the first time.

I stopped dead in my tracks, turning around slowly. His tears were threatening to fall, making his eyes red. I, too, felt a stinging sensation in my eyes. Nonetheless I chanted to myself not to cry. Onew was going to leave and there was nothing I could do to prevent him from leaving without me feeling guilty. This was his dream. He had so much potential, and even though he would be half way across the world, I wanted him to go.

"Onew, I love you so much that I'm letting you go."

He watched me in silence, tears about to spill. I could no longer see the smiling face that lit my life up.

"Onew, I'll always be here for you. If you need me, I'm a call away. If you let go of this opportunity, you're going to regret it forever. It's too late to turn back, so go home; you're flight is tomorrow."

"I'm afraid once tomorrow comes, your smile will diappear, like I promised would never happen."

"I'll keep smiling, I promise."

"I'll wait for you."

"Don't. You might be disappointed when you come back. If you find the right girl, you have to hold onto her. I'll go now."

I spoke every word clearly and carefully, even though they were white lies. I know once tomorrow comes, the smile won't be there anymore. I know that I don't want him meet someone else. I know that I don't want him to leave.

I know that I'm completely in love with him.

______________________________________

The goodbye won't be long. Baby, you're the one I'm waiting on.

Wherever the wind blows me, you're still the one & only on my mind.

Paris, London or Tokyo. Just one thing I gotta do.

I'll be thinking about you worldwide.

______________________________________

Three Years Later....

"Miss, someone's here to see you", my assistant peaked her head through the door.

"Did you ask them for their name?", I asked robotically.

"His name is Lee Jinki-ssi."

My mind went numb. Was it really him? There was only one way to find out.

"Let him in", I said, without really thinking. My assistant bowed and then exited.

Shortly, a man I vaguely recognized entered through the door. He wore a tailored suit, and his hair was chesnut brown. He no longer looked like the kid I once knew. He looked so handsome; only suitable for the most beautiful women. I suddenly felt insecure as I stood up. He had probably moved onto better, and bigger things by now.

 He flashed a toothy grin. Why was it that all he had to do was smile to recapture my heart when I was willing to climb mountains for him?

"How have you been?", I tried to control the shaking in my voice.

His expression turned into a thoughful one, "Not well."

"Why not?", I asked sincerely.

"I've been lied to and I didn't listen to you."

"H-Huh?"

"This girl promised me that she would smile whenever, wherever, but her friends me tell otherwise."

I looked down. No way.... But I still smile!

"Plus, you know how you told me to hold onto the right girl? I didn't. "

So he had moved on....A new pain crept up my chest. Last time it was abandonment, now it's just pure heartache.

"I met this amazing girl....but I just let her go. Only did I realize that I loved her more than anything in the world after I left."

Every word he said formed a new crack in my heart. He slowly walked up to me.

"These three years have been the most lonely without her. I would do anything to get her back....but I'm afraid she doesn't love me anymore."

 He leaned in towards my face; with just the tilt of his head, our lips could touch. I felt his breath tickling my cheeks.

"Please tell me you still love me", he whispered.