I am officially freaked out.

I never thought that this day would come. No, I never even thought about it. It always seemed impossible and if it happened would the world see its doom.

But no, it did happen.

So I will now encourage you all to scream and run for your lives, and no I’m not exaggerating.

My dad, the same strict, stern, mean…

‘You-can’t-do-anything-unless-I-tell-you-to-do-it’…

 ‘You-shall-have-no-human-rights!’…

Sorry I got carried away.

Anyhow he was sitting in front of me… Crying!

And not just crying like ‘but why would she leave him they were so perfect for each other (stuffing face with tissues)’ but he was actually crying because of me.

Yep the world has reached its end ladies and gentlemen. The famous stoic expression has crashed.

While my dad was sitting with his very much wet cheeks was there an alarm going on inside my head. Mayday mayday, strange behavior and foreign territory detected Okay no don’t panic, just don’t.

Still not panicking!

And no I didn’t do anything this time so stop accusing me, I’m innocent, okay? At least I think I am.

My mom is sitting beside my dad with tears in her eyes too but I guess the ice hasn’t melted completely there just yet. My parents came home to a cold shoulder from me like I promised and dragged me into the living room, while I was frustrated because I was actually in a peaceful slumber in the arms of Yifan.

They apparently wanted to talk with me and I haven’t said anything since they came home, still trying to desperately keep my cold shoulder under the freezing point, but I found out that it was not as simple as I thought when they told me their story. 

Like Yifan told me, they have known about him courting me ever since I was little. For them it only meant that they had only years to count until there only son got taken away from them. Therefore they became strict and hidden feelings were painfully buried inside them as they tried to prepare me and themselves for the coming future of me leaving them. I always thought that they didn’t love me. That they were ashamed of me and my dreams but they only tried to protect me of seeing those dreams blooming and becoming true, only for them to crash straight down in the dirt before my feet. Because when I take Yifan’s hand is there no turning back, only the back I will turn to the life I have now.

It all seems quite unbelievable. My mom never stopped loving me. She only wanted to protect me from the sorrow when I have to leave them, therefore she didn’t want me to grow attached to them. As far as my father go he has never been good at shoving his emotions nevertheless his pride as a father for having a son like me. What I thought was shame from him was in fact sadness of knowing the path we walk.

“It’s true my son” my mom’s tears was falling now and it made my own start to appear. I have always been weak when she shoved me that side of her. I can’t help but feel relieved. Both my parents love me and always have.

But…

That little knowledge just made my life harder when I realized that I was soon going to leave them.

I don’t even know when I will see them again… if I ever would see them again.

Yifan had told me that I will have to move with him, to be a part of the pack he leads. It’s not like the place is a long journey from here, it’s actually very close but…

A mate to a wolf has to sacrifice his or her life to go be with the one in which they are destined to be with. They will be excluded from the outside world and would have to say goodbye to the old life they had.

And I have to do that too.

Yifan came down the stairs and sat beside me on the couch making me instinctively take his hand for support.

“Let me just- why?” this time my question was directed to Yifan who almost looked ashamed of what he has to do.

“I’m sorry Tao, I really am, but it’s a rule I can’t break, if I could do anything against it I really would but...” he didn’t need to finish the sentence for me to understand. I wasn’t mad at him either. It was not for him to decide. It was out of his power even as a mighty leader to a well-known pack. And it is not in my place to refuse.

I know that if I ever chose to stay and cut the connection I have with Yifan will I never be able to focus mentally or even to live on like I am now.

So I really don’t have a choice, do I?

No.

So I just have to deal with it, even though it is the toughest thing I ever have to do.

But then again the bond I share with the man beside me is so strong that I still need to blink twice when I feel it. I never thought in my whole life of existing that something like this could be real. That I could actually feel another person’s feelings like they are my own. Feel his soul molding with mine with the simplest of touches.

It still leaves me breathless.

So no, never in my life could I turn my back to something like that.

So there is in reality only one thing left to do now.

“Tao, where are you going?” Yifan ask me as I move my way through the living room, zombie-like I may add, and still pale in the face.

“I’m going to jump out the window” Yifan was there fast by my side after my explanation left my lips, holding my waist so I wouldn’t do anything irrational.

I clung unto him for dear life, to get some of the soul-to-soul feeling I always feel when he touches me. I even got as desperate to feel sure about everything; that I tugged him down to meet my trembling lips.

I would have laughed do to his expression, but soon forgot about it when his calm aura invaded my body. I felt safe again and suddenly a strong will-power settled over my heart like a shield. It only increased when he molded our bodies inhumanly close and deepened the kiss by letting our tongues dance together like partners.

Small shivers of pleasure ran up my spine again and again. I was in heaven, a place I didn’t like leaving. It was home, right there. I never felt like I belonged that much in a place ever before in my life like I do when Yifan engulfs me in his presence, in his mind and soul.

 He makes me believe that I can handle anything as long as he is with me. He makes me think clearer than I ever have thought was possible. He gives me the feeling that I’m flying even though I know my feet are solidly planted on the ground (and yes I have checked).

And he makes the words “I love you” seem so small compared to the actual feeling that blooms in my chest.  I have never meant the words that much in my life as I do when I say them to him. When his reply comes, accompanied with his open arms and soul, with those sincere eyes of his and the smile he possesses, has my own smile never been so true and unforced as they have been before, not when I give them to him.

The whispered “I love you too” rings a pure bell inside of me, gives me powers that sum under my skin like a great force.

He gives me strength to do the impossible.

That man I love is Yifan and I would go to hell and back if it meant my reword was to be with him.

“I’m screwed” I mumbled when we parted. In the corner of my eye could I see my mom looking down at the table with red cheeks and my dad coughing somewhat awkwardly down into his hand.

Yifan understood my remark and just kept silent.

“Okay, the show is over, let’s just, yeah” smooth, Tao, very smooth “so how do we do this? When are we leaving and all that” I look at Yifan with a questioning eyebrow raised.

“We leave as soon as you are ready, I guess” he shrugs it off casually and I crumble mentally that he could at least seem a little bit more faced by the thought of me leaving my family. But I guess he is getting excited to see his own again so I can’t blame him.

“I need to go lay down” I shrieked (very manly, if I may add) when Yifan swiftly carried me bridal style, on his way to the stairs.

“Yifan I can walk you know!” I pouted (again very manly) at him. He only shrugged and kept on walking until we reached my (well our) bedroom. He lowered me so my feet can touch the ground, still holding me until I found my balance. I opened the door and crossed the floor to my closet to get some more comfortable clothes to rest in. Yifan was already in bed when I reinterred my bedroom. He raised the blankets he was under so I could easily climb into his embrace. My head rested on his chest and I could hear the soft beat of his heart.

Peace began wrapping up my mind. Everything has seemed so unbelievable that I have to think twice about the possibility that I may still be dreaming.

How can I have such a fate? How come my destiny looks like this?

And how come I haven’t been as happy in years as I am now?

Well, I wouldn’t call everything perfect but… I never knew that a person could hold such strong feelings. It was so incredible and unbelievable.

Yifan…

I owe you so much… Thank you for making me realize that paradise can be found on earth too.

A/N:

You have all the reasons to hate me now. I understand. This is so crappy and I have no excuses as to why it ended up like this.  

But thank you anyways for all of you who have read it and supported me I am a very happy author for that. 

I love you all very dearly~~

But this is a story that I'm not happy with, so I am thinking about deleting it... what do you guys think that I should do? Should it stay or?

Please leave a comment so I know what you think^^