* long-weird-drunk, super-important chapter; i will regret this, omg. (GUESS WHO'S DRUNK (not me))
 

What matters in life is not what happens to you but what you remember and how you remember it…

They were standing in an open space parking lot, the air was slightly chilly since the night had fallen, and Jongup had an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach that told him Youngjae was up to no good.

The impending doom, Jongup could feel it taking form as present as the wind that prickled his neck.

From a distance, he absently watched Junhee as she talked to Himchan; Yongguk, who was within earshot, chuckling as he joined the conversation. They walked off in pairs, down the pavement, at Seoul dusk, into the night.

Jongup felt a presence catching up beside him. His lips twisted.

“I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I’m not doing it,” he implored before the singer-guitarist could open his mouth.

“I- what?” Youngjae was caught off guard for only a second. “Oh, mate, you’re fast,” he commented sounding impressed, “nah, no worries, we’ve got Dae for that.”

Jongup whipped around. They froze in place as the others walked on. Daehyun who was dogging behind them stopped too.

“What?”

“I said we got–”

“I know what you said,” Jongup grunted, “but whatever it is, just– don’t.”

“Why not?” Youngjae asked, looking perplexed. That only irritated Jongup even more.

“Because, Youngjae,” the drummer pressed, exasperated, “people are not lab rats; you cannot use them for your own benefits. And you’re asking, ‘Why not?’ Gods, you must be ting me.”

The singer quickly raised both hands in the air, as if in surrender, and said, “Never said people were lab rats, hey! Would you just listen? Jongup, c’mon. Don’t be dramatic, Dae just have to—”

“Are yer talking ’bout me?” Daehyun’s voice startled them. He was watching them with knitted brows and an absent pout. “The others are all the way over there, shouldn’t we follow them?”

“Yes, Daehyun, you’re right,” said Youngjae patiently, and Jongup huffed when he knew there was no stopping the other. “Let’s go. Oh hey, I heard you’ve been wanting new earphones…”

Youngjae braced an arm over Daehyun’s shoulders, and continued to walk and talk; this time, with Jongup trailing behind. Youngjae egged the vocalist on.

“…but everybody is using the red one,” Daehyun was saying, oblivious.

“Yeah? So, you want the white one?”

Jongup rolled his eyes.

“That’ll take me months ter save,” Daehyun murmured thoughtfully, “My sister’s gonna need money for school. And there’s the hospital bill gran’s hiding from me,” he said, looking wistful, “I promised them I’ll visit again soon…”

Everybody knew Jung Daehyun was very fond of his family, or what was left of it that was. He grew up in Busan without a mother, who his father had claimed was living in Seoul. All Jongup knew of the members’ backgrounds were only what Yongguk and Himchan wished to share with them.

They were told that on a night like any other, fuelled by determination and naivety, Daehyun had set off to Seoul to look for his mother right after his father’s funeral. All, of course, went wrong. He didn’t even know his mother’s name, nor what she looked like. With little money and clothes, Jung Daehyun, tossed into the streets, was astoundingly lucky to have encountered Himchan a month later, on a winter evening, when the older man was getting himself mugged.

Kim Himchan was lucky too, in a sense, for any regular Seoul passer-by would never think of endangering themselves by rescuing a complete stranger from three local swindlers.

However, Daehyun, being Daehyun, plunged in, head first (literally) at one of the thugs and managed to scare the other two away merely with his raggedy appearance as he wreaked of a mad man of the streets.

Anyhow, that’d be another story for another time. Let us now continue our journey down Shinsa lane, on the night Choi Junhee finally managed to pull one over on Choi Junhong (even if it was only for a little while).

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it…

All Daehyun had to do was get close to Juniel, close enough that it would seem like they were ‘friendly’, but not enough to make Juniel feel violated.

Okay, this was going to be difficult. Daehyun had never been very good at this girl-thing.

‘Think of earphones, you can do this, earphones,’ he thought to himself, as he shook the anxiousness out of his system, ‘earphones…’

With an encouraging look from Youngjae, Daehyun trotted up to the other half of the pack, managing to step on Yongguk’s foot in the process, and shouldered Zelo off the sidewalk.

“Oof! Sorry,” said Daehyun abashedly, as he answered Himchan’s questioning look, “I’m hungry… those two are slow.”

Himchan looked over his shoulder to find Youngjae and Jongup dogging behind, bickering at each other—not a sight seen too often. The keyboardist nudged Yongguk who was by his side.

“Look,” he said, nodding over to the dogging pair.

“Weird night, isn’t it?” Yongguk mumbled dazedly. “They are talking, and, I mean, we’re acquainted with that one person on television that we never thought of ever mingling with. Now we’re about to enter a restaurant, have dinner and what’s ridiculous is, we haven’t screwed anything up so far.”

“We did that one time,” Himchan said helpfully, “you know, the Zelo-raging thing.”

“Right,” said Yongguk, “Okay, question: How come we’re still on her good side?”

A pause.

“Uh… she’s mostly from, like, our telly,” Himchan thought offishly, “tellies are… flat. They only have one side.”

“Good point,” Yongguk agreed, looking serious. “Or, it could just mean, not everybody is as judgemental as we thought? Obviously, they're making a big mistake. Because we are ‘untamed and rebellious’. BAP cannot be trusted.”

“Why? Because we popped up from ‘Hongdae Below’?” snorted Himchan.

Then, with one incredulous look from Yongguk they both cracked up, laughing, and the evening felt like the lightest they remembered ever living in a very long time.

 : :

“I’m thinking,” said Youngjae, eyes on Daehyun and Juniel, “either Daehyun is doing a very good job, or Juniel is just really friendly.”

“She’s just really friendly.”

“Yes, that’s what I’m thinking,” confirmed Youngjae, as Daehyun managed to squeeze in beside Juniel and share a menu with her. They were in a secluded barbecue restaurant that manager Yoon had frequented.

Daehyun was pointing to something on the menu, and got Juniel laughing.

Youngjae sniggered as his eyes landed on manager Yoon who sat looking uncomfortable beside a moody Zelo. Zelo was glowering at something non-existent on the table, and manager Yoon flipped the menu back and forth absently in his hand, occasionally side-glancing at Juniel and Daehyun, who were on his left, making most of the noise.

Youngjae elbowed Jongup, earning a grunt. “Here goes. Keep your eyes on Zelo.”

Zelo was becoming evidently moodier and moodier.

“This is a suicide mission,” stated Jongup as everything began to play out in front of them, “you knew this was gonna happen.”

“No, I didn’t. I had a theory.” Youngjae shrugged. “I am testing it out, and it just so happens that I’m right.”

Jongup pressed his lips into a thin line as he folded his arms and continued to watch the events that were happening on the other side of the table.

The bassist was scowling now, occasionally sending dagger eyes at the vocalist.

“Did it occur to you that you’re making Daehyun risk his life for nothing?” he asked, couldn’t help himself.

“Not for nothing. I’m getting him earphones,” said the other, “…if he lives.”

Jongup sighed, eyes flicking from Daehyun to Zelo and back.

“What does it mean, then?” the drummer asked, still looking reproachful.

Youngjae smiled. “It means, there’s definitely something going on, and we most certainly are going to get to bottom of this.”

“We?”

“Yeah. You’re going to help me.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.”

“No. You can’t buy my vote.”

“I know that! You made that clear a long time ago.”

“Then I don’t see why I should help you!”

“Because, Jongup, it might have escaped your notice, but we are friends.”

“No, we’re not.”

“Yes, we are! We’ve been friends since sophomore year, and we still are.”

“You were the one who kept imposing yourself on me. I’ve always hated you.”

A pause.

“Fair enough.”

“Good,” Jongup huffed, “So, what do I do?”

 : : 

“Okay, in thirty seconds, Dae will excuse himself to the restroom. I want you to replace him. Make it natural. You saw how Dae did, y