2014

With mouth pursed into a straight line, Himchan was worrying about the show Yongguk had hastily agreed with CEO Kim on doing.

“You were a git,” said Himchan matter-of-factly.

Yongguk grunted, nodding. “I know.”

“How are we ever going to survive this?”

Manager Yoon blinked at the two sombre band members from across the table.

“What are you two on about?”

Yongguk groaned, cradling his face in his hands as Himchan explained.

“Our leader, Yongguk here, had accepted our CEO’s offer of putting us in some new idol show,” said Himchan accusingly, “now that the cast meeting is next week we’re worrying our heads off.”

Manager Yoon continued to stare at both of them, looking more amused at their devastated faces.

“But why are you worried?”

Yongguk and Himchan exchanged solemn looks, then their eyes flitted to Zelo’s bedroom.

“Well, uh, hyung. You know our bassist…” hinted Yongguk quietly, not looking at the man in the eyes, “I’m sure Himchan had told you… you know…” he trailed off.

“Right,” said manager Yoon after a pause. “You’re wary he’d act out and ruin your image?”

Himchan barked out a hysterical laugh. “That is if we actually have an image, hyung. But we don’t.”

“You do,” countered the man, looking at them flatly.

They did a double take.

“We what?”

“You guys do have an image,” repeated the man, “Aren’t you aware of this?”

When the members began to stare at each other warily, manager Yoon scoffed like he was amused.

“If I hadn’t known better, I’d have thought BAP’s image to the public is completely intentional,” said the man, looking between the two of them, “but seeing as you two have no clue, this is kind of surprising.”

Yongguk shifted in his seat, glancing at Himchan as if wanting to ask him whether they should continue on this route of conversation. Himchan unhelpfully shrugged, accompanied by the ‘you’re the man’ face.

“Um,” the composer-guitarist turned to experienced man hesitantly, “should we have known this? I mean, what kind of image…”

Manager Yoon blinked in disbelief. It was the look that clearly asked, ‘how are you still alive?’

“What show is this anyway?” asked manager Yoon distractedly.

“Uh, something to do with camping.”

Recognition lighted in the man’s eyes. “Oh? Juniel’s doing that one too.”

“Is she?” ogled Himchan, with new hope in his eyes.

“Yeah, she is,” both manager Yoon and Yongguk answered at the same time. They stared at each other afterwards.

Yongguk cleared his throat, saying quietly, “Don’t you remember? That was why Zelo was so against it.”

Himchan grimaced. “And that was why you recklessly agreed.” He made a face. “Because Zelo was against it and you ‘wanted to teach him a lesson’. Now we’re doomed.”

2010

Okay, look.

Let’s try to understand that him falling into that sensual and emotional thrall (at fifteen) with an equally underage love interest had not been on his To Do list. In fact, Junhong didn’t even have a To Do list.

He was coming around to the belief that whether people liked it or not, things happen and when things start happening, you pretty much just have to hold on for dear life and see where they’d drop you when they stop.

Oh, he’d like to make an important point before any of this got passed around, that if anyone felt like arresting either of them for corrupting each other then all Junhong could say was that Junhee was not corruptible (nor was he). Some people were just like that and if nobody would believe him, then that just meant they’d never met one themselves.

Which would be their loss.

So, that was a year ago.

After Junhee vanished, Junhong desperately wished he had never started kissing her in that kind of way, because that was the start of it all—that was when everything began spiralling out of control.

Junhong started to label his life into two parts: Before Junhee, After Junhee (A.J.).

So A.J., he hooked up continuously with countless girls and yet never seemed to be able to recapture the magic of those moments he’d spent with her. Junhong decided that it was because she was his first: first kiss, first– everything. Of course, it would always be special.

It was not because it was Junhee. No. Not at all.

His life did not revolve around her anymore, thank you very much.

Somebody, please just believe him.

2014

Youngjae stood rigid on the other side of the door.

“You’re mental,” Zelo’s voice could be heard from inside his bedroom.

“I’ve heard that before,” said Juniel in a light voice, like she wasn’t affected by the insult at all.

The singer-guitarist forgot to breathe, not quite sure what was going on. The door was slightly open, enough for him to peek inside, so he did.

There the two were, standing opposing each other. Zelo’s hands were in his pockets. He looked sombre and grouchy as always. Juniel wasn’t a far distance away from the bassist which took Youngjae by surprise, considering nobody, much less a girl, had ever braved to stand that close to Zelo unless they were seeking for a death-wish (or, okay, something else to do for the night).

“I’m sure you have.” Zelo glowered, stepping up to intimidate her.

Neither of them seemed to be giving in. Youngjae wondered whether he should interrupt them, considering how many different ways this could go wrong.

Not that it wasn’t going wrong already.

“You’ve grown,” she said, straining her neck to look at him. Zelo grunted and said nothing.

Youngjae was sure Zelo hadn’t grown any taller since the last time she’d seen the bassist.

Exasperated, Zelo snarled, “What do you want, Junhee?”

A pause. Youngjae frowned at the bassist’s lack of respect. She was still his sunbae after all.

“Cook something.”

“What?” Zelo scowled.

Juniel repeated, “Cook me something.”

Youngjae frowned. What the heck? Like, Zelo would ever cook for anyone.

“Look,” Zelo said dangerously. “You can’t just come barging in here, claiming ownership of– of things that aren’t yours to begin with.”

Juniel gave the bassist a weird look, and started to smile. It creeped Youngjae out. She must really be a complete nutter.

“Claim what? And is there a label somewhere with your name on it?” she asked playfully. That didn’t sit well with Youngjae, knowing that Zelo wouldn’t appreciate it.

Instead, Zelo gave her a dark chuckle that could cut through ice; the one that once made her leave that evening. She wasn’t running now.

“Sure. ‘Choi Junhong’ is clearly written across the front,” he said sarcastically, “there’s even a stupid crack down the sid