“Hey, do you wanna go get street food or something later?”

I looked up from the laptop screen and stretched my arms.  I had been alternating between replaying videos of my old routines and standing up to test out new dance moves.

“Why street food?  Why not just go down to the cafeteria?”

“Well, at the rate you’re working right now, by the time we finally get to go down to the cafeteria, they’re gonna run out of food.”  Hyukjae gave me a pointed look.  “You’ve been working at this since nine this morning.  It’s almost two in the afternoon and I don’t even know if they’re still serving lunch downstairs.”

“I never said you couldn’t go get lunch by yourself.”

“True.”  Hyukjae shrugged.  “But aren’t you gonna go get lunch too?”

I sighed and got up from the ground, staring at myself in the mirror and trying to decide what move would best fit into the next part of the new routine I was trying to create.

“I’m only halfway done.  I feel like a minute isn’t long enough.  It should be at least two or three minutes, don’t you think?”  I tried out a few steps, but decided they looked too awkward.  Sitting back down, I replayed the old videos for what was probably the hundredth time that day.  Choreographing was a lot harder than it looked.  I didn’t exactly know how to create new dance moves yet, so all I could do was borrow from my old routines and try not to make it look too similar.  I hoped that in time, I would learn enough to understand how to produce something much more original.

“You know, you’re only twelve.”

“You know, you’re only thirteen,” I retorted.  “What’s your point?”

“Why are you trying to choreograph your own routines right now?  Aren’t you training to become an idol, not a choreographer?”

“Yeah, but there’s nothing wrong with choreographing my own routines too.  Maybe it’ll help me in the future or something.”

“How so?”

“I’ll get even better at dance,” I said decisively.

“Okay then.”  He shrugged again.  “But I’m just saying, we’ve only been here for a few months.  The chances of the company noticing us and letting us debut are really small.  You do realize that most trainees have to train for several years to debut, right?”

I narrowed my eyes.

“That’s not true.  Do you know Kwon Boa, by any chance?”  My thoughts flickered back to my former roommate.  I never saw her around anymore.  She had moved out of our dorm a few weeks ago, and I could never find her during lunch or in between practices.

“I know of her, but I don’t think I’ve ever talked to her.  She’s an exception, okay?  I said that most trainees have to train for several years.”

“And who says that I won’t be an exception as well?”  I said a bit too boldly.

“Well, someone’s being ambitious again.”

“What?  Didn’t SM said that we should be optimistic and confident in ourselves so we can set high goals?  That’s exactly what I’m doing right now.”

“Yeah, but too much self-confidence can blind you, Seoyoon.”  Hyukjae came over and sat down next to me.

“I’m not just being self-confident.  I’m also trying as hard as I can.  That’s why I’ve been practicing so often.”

“There’s a point where practicing too much and being overly self-confident can be bad for you.  You’re focusing a lot on dance these days, aren’t you?”

I nodded.

“Yeah?  So?  That’s because I’m good at dance.  Or at least I like to think I am.  Maybe I’m still not as good as the others in our class, but I’m a lot better at dance than I am at singing.”

“Exactly why you should focus on singing as well, not just dance.  Idols have to be well-rounded, right?  You need to focus on both.”

I rolled my eyes and scoffed softly.

“Of course I know that.  That’s just what I’m working on right now.  But I think I actually stand a chance in terms of dance, so I’m putting more emphasis on that.  I can always work on vocals later, right?

Hyukjae opened his mouth as if he were about to say something, but apparently decided against it.

“It’s your choice,” he said simply before getting up and heading back to the couch, grabbing his backpack.  “Anyways, I’m gonna go buy food now.  I’ll see you around.”  He was halfway out the door before I decided against it and called him back.

“Hey, can you get me something?  I’ll pay you back later on.”

He frowned at me.

“No,” he said huffily.  “If you’re hungry, go and buy something by yourself?  How am I supposed to know what you like?”

“Anything’s fine.  Get me a roll of kimbap or something.  I honestly don’t care as long, as it’s edible.”

“No,” he repeated.  “Go get it yourself.  You haven’t left this room for hours.  Go out and go do something else for a change.  If you keep practicing like this, it’s gonna kill you.”

“No, it won’t,” I laughed.  “Who says?”

“It’s your problem,” he replied, shaking his head in exasperation.  But you can’t just lock yourself here for the entire day and work on only dance.  Do something else.  And go buy your own food.”  He headed out the door without another word, leaving me grimacing at the door.

As if on cue, my stomach rumbled.  Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to take a break for a while.  He’s right, Seoyoon-ah.  About both the food and practicing for long periods of time.  Maybe you should actually work on vocals for a little while.

“Yah!  Lee Hyukjae, wait for me!”  I slammed my laptop closed, shoved it in my bag, and ran out the door as quickly as I could.

When I returned to the SM building an hour later, I followed Hyukjae’s advice and worked on vocals for the rest of the afternoon.  After all, despite how much I disliked singing because I wasn’t good at it, it couldn’t hurt, could it?  Whatever was necessary so that I could debut.

To my surprise, one of the older trainees in my dance class approached me and Hyukjae right before we were about to enter the cafeteria for dinner.  I had never talked to him before, but Hyukjae greeted him and grinned.

“Hi, Minjae hyung.  What’s up?”

“Hey.”  Minjae smiled back at him.  I was about to walk away and head into the cafeteria by myself, but I had barely taken two steps when Minjae stopped me.

“Hey, your name is Lee Seoyoon, am I right?”

I turned around, dipped my head to him, and nodded.

“Is it true that you’re fluent in English?”

I raised my eyebrows, not having expected that question.

“Yes, sunbaenim.  I lived in America every summer for several years.  Why do you ask?”

“Come down to the basement after dinner.  I’ll explain later.”  Without another word, he nodded in my direction and walked away.

“What was that about?”  Hyukjae was looking at me with a confused expression.

“I don’t know.  This is the first time he’s ever talked to me.”

“Hmm.  Maybe there’s a foreign trainee here or something.”

“Huh?”

“A foreign trainee.  Some of my friends say that they’re not very common because most of the trainees that SM accepts are Koreans, but there’s still a few foreigners around SM.  All of them should know enough Korean to get by, maybe Minjae wants you to guide him or her around?  Since you speak English.”

I nodded in understanding.

“Yeah, maybe.”

After hurriedly gulping down a bowl of jajangmyeon that was just a little too salty, I parted from Hyukjae and went downstairs as Minjae had told me to.  As I opened the door, I saw a small row of kids lined up against the wall, kids I had never seen before.  There were three of them: two boys and one girl.  The boys looked like they were in their late teens, and they were talking to each other in excited tones.  The girl, however, looked very young, about a year or two younger than I was.  She was nearly a head shorter than me and she stood apart from the boys, casting glances at her feet and her hands.  Minjae appeared behind me and spoke quietly so that they wouldn’t hear us.

“You’re gonna be in charge of her.”  He nodded his head towards the girl, who looked up, as if she had heard him after all.  “She’s from America.  She speaks Korean, but it never hurts to make sure she understands the industry and how things work around here.”

I widened my eyes.  So he did want me to take care of her, just as Hyukjae predicted.  It was strange.  I had only been here for a few months, and I was already taking on a junior?  But I wasn’t about to turn down the offer.

“Okay, sunbaenim.”

“Her name is Jessica.”

“Jessica?”  The name wasn’t a Korean one, but it rolled off my tongue easily.  The girl instantly looked up at me curiously as she heard her name.

“Hi, I’m Lee Seoyoon,” I said in English.  “Is this your first day here?  How old are you?”

“Whoa!  You speak English!”  She spoke excitedly in English.  “I didn’t know people here could speak so fluently!  I’ve talked to a ton of company people today, and none of them could speak English very well, but you practically sound native.  Do you know if anyone around here speaks English?  Or do we have to talk in Korean all the time?”

To my relief, I could understand her despite how quickly she was talking.  I motioned for her to head upstairs with me, leaving Minjae and the other two new trainees behind.

“I think there’s some of us speak English, but I think it would be better for you to talk in Korean more often so you’ll get used to it,” I said as we walked up the stairs and into one of the hallways.  “But do you mind if I talk to you in English so I can practice?”  I brightened up at the prospect of talking to a native speaker.

“Sure thing,” she said, switching to slightly accented Korean.  “My name is Jung Sooyeon, but my English name is Jessica and I like it better when people call me Jessica.  I’m going to Korea Kent Foreign School so I can get better at Korean.  And I’m eleven years old.”  She beamed up at me with a bright smile, practically overflowing with enthusiasm.

“Oh, really?  I’m twelve.  We’re practically the same age, so you don’t need to use honorifics with me, okay?  But since things in Korea are a bit stricter than things in America, remember to ask before dropping honorifics with anyone else.”

She smiled and nodded.

“Okay.  Now what?”

I hesitated as I struggled to remember what I had done during my first day as a trainee.  I had never met someone so full of energy before.  Having a junior was going to be interesting.

“Hmm, do you live in the SM dorms?”

“Yep.  I moved in this morning and I already met my roommates!  What are we gonna do right now?  Are we gonna start practicing?  My schedule doesn’t start until tomorrow, but it’s only about--”  She glanced at a nearby clock.  “-- 7:00 P.M!  Can you help me get a head start?”

“Wait, what?”  I said, shocked.  “Already?  But didn’t you literally just get here?"

“Mhmm.  Why not?  Where are the practice rooms?  I wanna start practicing immediately so I can get ahead of everyone else.”

One eyebrow shot up in surprise.  She was certainly eager.  And very self-confident.  My other eyebrow rose as I remembered what Hyukjae and I had been talking about earlier.

“Which vocal class are you in?  And which dance class?”

“Class B for vocals, Class C for dance.”

So she was advanced than I was in terms of dance, but more advanced in terms of vocals.  My jaw tightened a little.  This was not good.

I truly hated myself for thinking like that.  I had only met Jessica five minutes ago.  She seemed like a really nice person, bubbly and cheerful.  But from the looks of it, she was just as ambitious and eager as I was.  Very ambitious and eager.

Jessica Jung was my competition.  We were both around the same age.  We were both talented, although in different areas.  I didn’t want to dislike her.  In fact, I didn’t dislike her.  I really didn’t.

But I remembered what had happened between Boa and Haneul.  What if it turned out that Jessica and I were put into the same situation?  What if it turned out that I couldn’t debut because of Jessica?  What if we were put into a girl group, but then I was forced out because she was better than I was?

She was a threat.

I would never stoop so low as to try and discourage her from debuting.  I would never try to bring her down in any way: that was unthinkable.  But Jessica’s arrival meant that I would have to try even harder.  I couldn’t afford to let my guard down.

I needed to become better than she would ever be, no matter how much effort it would take.