The Reason Why My Heart Became Cold As Ice (Part 1). (Edited Ver.)

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While Seira was in her room, the others were having their own times to theirselves too.

*In Jessica's Room*

JESSICA'S POV:

'Well, we've captured them now. But why isn't she as rebellious as before? This is so damn confusing! She's supposed to be all pissed off, so that we can finally use her own feathers to torture her!' I thought while a scowl started to appear on my face. 'AHHH! Seriously! Why do I need to feel jealous or whatever about her!' I ruffled my hair in dismay. 'I just came from party and the thought of her made me feel all cranky again! Geez! Get a grip Jessica Jung!' I tried to seem rational but I just can't. I hated to admit it, but YES. I was. And is still jealous of her - JUNG .

Before I could throw a tantrum again, I made a run for the bathroom. 'Maybe cooling off would be better.' I breathed out, trying to calm myself down. I'm afraid now that my brother's gone, now that he has sided with those people, I have no one to hold onto whenever I throw tantrums. Only Jinyoung gets me to regain my sanity again. 'Aigoo, my brother. Even you chose her over me. Am I really that useless and weak compared to her? Is that why everyone, especially Donghae-oppa, chose her over me? Don't I deserve to be happy?' I thought as I slowly made myself sink in the tub. 'I exist. I am alive. I am Jessica Jung. Why don't you all notice me?' I heard my sub-conscious mind cry out.

I felt like I was about to pass out when I felt a very nice feeling of warmth. I can't move a lot since I guess my mind was blank as of now, so I use dmy hands to feel and find the direction from where teh warmth was coming from - MY NECKLACE.

Then I remembered how I got this necklace...'Mom. Dad. I promise, whoever did that to you...I will surely make him/her suffer...and even the rest of his/her descendants. The person who slaughtered you, my dear parents, deserve more than hell!' I furiously thought as the flashbacks of the very day came back to me, like it all just happened yesterday...or even an hour ago...a minute ago...

*FLASHBACK (10 Years Ago)*

"Noona! Noona! Sooyeon-noona! Wake up!" A younger Jinyoung was shaking his elder from her slumber. "Noona! Come on! We're gonna leave you behind! We still need to go to 's and- Aish! Noona! Just wake u- AHH!" He suddenly stopped blabbering when his face got hit by one of Jessica's fluffy pillows.

"Pipe down fox boy!" She groaned and scrunched her face in annoyance. "You just des

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Vampirexy192 #1 Dec 9, 2015 06:44:47

Chapter 11: Oh yeah, I know I comment too much on this but I just wanna add, no need to emphasize too much on every word that seems unnecessary like you give in a bold font or capital letter and reduce the 3 period symbol. It just dragging your sentence. Probably it was a habit to put three dots at the end of sentence. xD Maybe, I assumed. It's okay, everyone make a mistake that they unconsciously did. Even me, myself ^_^ But if you still keep it, it's fine. Everyone has their own styles to write. :D

Vampirexy192 #2 Dec 9, 2015 06:39:34

Chapter 11: First of all, I want to say that the colors actually distract me. I don't mind, it was colorful indeed but I would suggest you do not use yellow color because I couldn't see the word clearly. >.> And I preferred if you name the female main character so you wouldn't have to keep it blank in all you story. Also, the thoughts of a person and the person conversation should be distinguished. Like we can tell that it was her thoughts or she was talking. People's point of view is already considered as expressing their inner minds or thoughts. Unless that person voiced out her opinion in her head loudly as if she was talking to herself. That is different. Like you use this for the "conversation" and thoughts, you can use 'this' or in italic words. Oh! Btw in Chapter 11, the protagonist brother had changed from Baro to Jinyoung? o.o What just happened? That actually confused me, I don't know if you had mistakenly written that. Moreover, it was difficult to you know telling their perspectives especially the Lee's brothers. I was rather puzzled because it seems jumbled up to me. Therefore, the flow of the story is a bit disrupted. I'm just giving my comment not because of I hate it, I just want to point out the mistakes so you can improve and become better. :D I hope you don't take any offence from this. However, the plot story was interesting like I can feel European or Victorian kind of style. Classic and vintage. Hahaha. As well as the mystery behind her amnesia and the history of their descendants. :)