twenty seven
Silence.Wrong.
It could, and it does.
I returned to school, somewhat against my own will, but it's something I have to do because there are educational standards you have to maintain if you wish to become an idol, and I've already pushed myself away from my dream far enough.
You would have thought my schoolmates would have given me a break, but I guess not.
At least they don't break my stuff this time, though. True, they tear up my homework, rip apart my notebook, but no one has to know. I have to redo my stuff, but it's okay because it only affects me.
It's the mental torture that hurts more than the physical aspect.
"Disappeared for a while, didn't we, Kibum? Ran away and hid, right? Because hiding your voice from the world is not enough. You have to hide your face now, too?"
There are days in which I'd like to scream at them, shout at them. Let the entire world know what they are doing to me. But it's like a wall builds up around me. The words stick in my throat, stop my vocal cords. What if I trip over my words, say something stupid? What if, what if?
And so I stay silent. It's safer that way.
"Still not speaking? I suppose the money you have is able to buy you everything but the intelligence you need to use your tongue."
It's these words that make me upset, not angry. I can't deny the truth in them, and the truth hurts, doesn't it? It hurts even more when it's flashed out for me in front of my eyes, loud enough for the whole class to hear. I feel my face grow hot, my cheeks flush and I hang my head in shame.
Where is the teacher? Can't she come soon? Why must there be all this free time for idle chitchat? Why can't someone just come in and stop this, end this? I wish I could disappear, fall through a hole, escape and flee to somewhere else. I would get up and run, but they'd just follow me. I know, I've tried.
I blink slowly, pressing my eyelids shut. Willing the tears forming in my eyes to go away. They can tease me and laugh at me, mock me. But I can't let them see me cry. Not again. Somehow I want to cry out for protection, for someone to take me and hold me and block out all the noise of the mocking and st
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