fourteen
Silence.
--
Some days I wake up and I don't know where I am.
Sometimes things are like a dream, too good to be true, and other days, life is like a nightmare.
Today life is like a nightmare.
The past few days were good, really, really good. Better than they've ever been in a long time.
I got back test papers from school, and I did rather well on them. The choreographer hyung praised my dancing yesterday, and best of all, I managed to join my members during breaks. It's not that they've never invited me to, but I never felt like I could, before. I didn't say anything, but to be able to be there was good enough.
Today, however, things are back to normal.
I woke up with the same, pressing, stifling feeling weighing down my chest, for no reason. For the same lack of reason, I found myself unable to join my members as they had fun together this morning, instead spending the time privately in the bathroom, throwing up undigested breakfast that I was somehow too nervous to keep down. And right now, I find myself with my palm pressed against my chest, bent over a music stand, gasping for air, trying to regulate my breathing.
A panic attack. I haven't had one in a while, though.
Just as fuzzy spots are blurring my vision and I think I'm going to pass out, strong arms are wrapping around me, a palm rubbing itself slowly up and down my back.
"Breathe, Kibummie, breathe slowly." Someone is murmuring slowly, crouched down beside me, fingers grasping mine.
"Everything is okay, alright? Everything is just fine. You're okay...you're okay."
Fingers firmly massage my shoulders, applying soothing pressure to my tense joints. A gentle, quiet voice penetrating my gasps and sobs.
Shuddering, I look around me as I take a few deep breaths. Now that my mind has clear
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