fourteen

Silence.
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Some days I wake up and I don't know where I am. 
Sometimes things are like a dream, too good to be true, and other days, life is like a nightmare.

Today life is like a nightmare.

The past few days were good, really, really good. Better than they've ever been in a long time.
I got back test papers from school, and I did rather well on them. The choreographer hyung praised my dancing yesterday, and best of all, I managed to join my members during breaks. It's not that they've never invited me to, but I never felt like I could, before. I didn't say anything, but to be able to be there was good enough. 

Today, however, things are back to normal. 
I woke up with the same, pressing, stifling feeling weighing down my chest, for no reason. For the same lack of reason, I found myself unable to join my members as they had fun together this morning, instead spending the time privately in the bathroom, throwing up undigested breakfast that I was somehow too nervous to keep down. And right now, I find myself with my palm pressed against my chest, bent over a music stand, gasping for air, trying to regulate my breathing.

A panic attack. I haven't had one in a while, though. 

Just as fuzzy spots are blurring my vision and I think I'm going to pass out,  strong arms are wrapping around me, a palm rubbing itself slowly up and down my back. 

"Breathe, Kibummie, breathe slowly." Someone is murmuring slowly, crouched down beside me, fingers grasping mine. 
"Everything is okay, alright? Everything is just fine. You're okay...you're okay." 
Fingers firmly massage my shoulders, applying soothing pressure to my tense joints. A gentle, quiet voice penetrating my gasps and sobs.

Shuddering, I look around me as I take a few deep breaths. Now that my mind has clear

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Comments

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geondarza #1
Chapter 29: I'll be patiently waiting for you to rewrite the story then, but don't forget this amazing fic;;;; <3
blackhole #2
Chapter 29: I'll be patiently waiting for you to rewrite the story then author-nim.. fighting!!
thaismarina #3
Chapter 28: yes there is please still keep on writing even if it just once a month
i want to know what happens
jjongluvbummie
#4
Chapter 29: It's such an amazing fiction and if u feel the the need to rewrite it.then it's okay.go with it.i m sure with the new version we would be able to experience more emotions and it will be more good to read.

so yes I will be waiting for new version:)
goodluck:)
Cutie96 #5
Chapter 29: If you want to rewrite it, why not ;) i will read the new version ^^
Ilonahaku #6
Chapter 29: If you want to rewrite this story, it is fine, but personally I dont like people rewriting their UNfinished stories, because there is hardly anyone who would manage to rewrite the story and finish it. To be honest, too many writers give up halfway and that breaks my heart...
Jongkey90
#7
Chapter 29: Yes it's all fine ^-^ but don't forget it ><
Blingdom
#8
Chapter 29: Of course darling :)
DaddyGrell
#9
Chapter 29: Please keep the story up if you decide to rewrite it
coffeeinseoul
#10
Chapter 29: If you would like to rewrite it then that is up to you! :) I'm just excited to see a notification for this story again, I love it a lot.