Luhan's always cheerful and youthful eyes recast into a devastating fearful look. As soon as my lips touched his, he stepped back and shook his head defiantly as if saying I shouldn't do that. I stared in slight horror, but panic quickly seeped in when he rubbed his lips harshly with the back of his hand; his face shrouded with nothing but pure disgust.

The silent room were heavy with suffocating air and I almost choked in the unfamiliar air. I wanted to say that it's a misunderstanding, but nothing came out. My voice was dry, and I slowly gulped before trying my best to let out a barely audible voice.

"Luhan... I'm sorry-"

He immediately shoot daggers of hatred towards me, something that he would never did before.

"Sorry?! That's what you said after you kissed someone?! I thought of you as a friend, but instead this is how you repay my kindness? With disgusting feeling attached? How could you!"

He darted his gaze towards the door and turned around as I fell in silence of regret; 'Will he leave me?' was the only thought that occurred to me as he made a quick walk to the door. I wanted to chase after him, to beg him to stay by my side, but my legs were trembling in fear.

He will leave you.  

Fright and fear got to me and I quickly snatched his wrist before he managed to exit the room. He gave a glance of mixed disgust, confusion and hurt.

"Please don't leave me alone"

He harshly released the grip on his hand and my heart broke into tiny pieces of glass when he left me behind with nothing but one sentence:

You're disgusting.

I watched his shadow vanished and everything felt like it had been washed away. I tried to hold my stand, my knees were weak and I stifled. The clammy air is painful as I took sharp breath, like icy glaciers. 

Fairly cold yet unbearable.

Don't cry, It's nothing

You've experienced this, It's okay

Don't cry

Everything's gonna be fine

Everything's gonna be fine

And suddenly, my tears fall. 

I wiped it with the end of my sleeves.

But I wonder why my tears wouldn't stop falling.

-----------

Everything was white. But when I lift up my hand to paint the canvas, I could see nothing but red. It's a mess but 'red' somehow made it better. It's like I'm finally founding my freedom.

But from what I'm trying to escape from?

His face flashed across my mind and I swiftly slide the brush again; it felt better that way.

I quickly turned around and it's cold. Heavy and chilly atmosphere surrounded me. My tears were already dried yet it's still wet.

Where am I? 

I stared at the dark cloudy sky, the drop of tears from above hit me like piercing bullets filled with sadness.

Where am I?

Oh, the park.

Somehow I might have ended here, and I glanced back in front of me. The canvas and paintbrush had vanished, and it only left me with my bloody wrist and the blood-stained knife.

It's weird. How I used to hate rain but now here I am, sitting in a park in a middle of heavy rain. Weird but comforting.

And suddenly a shadow appeared above