As swift as lightning, I hid my wrist behind my back in defense. 

He cannot know.

Not him.

Please.

"Xiumin.... That...." Luhan looked at me, terrified, as he pointed at me with his index finger, or actually he was pointing towards my hidden wrist.

My heart quickened in fear.

He definitely saw it.

I dropped my head and shook furiously. I wanted to say something, but words were stuck in my throat. They won't come out.

And when I managed to let out my voice, all I could say was just,

 "It's nothing"

He grunted in disbelief.

"What do you mean it's nothing? Your wrist is swollen and bleeding! It's ing bleeding!! What were you thinking?" Luhan shouted with a shaky voice, partly angry and partly disappointed. Why didn't Xiumin told him earlier about it? It's a serious matter, and yet Xiumin choose to keep it from him.

Luhan stepped forward, trying to coax me into his arms. I was scared of what might happen so I took a step back, accidentally hit my back with the sink. The coldness of the atmosphere made me shiver in fear. 

So this isn't a dream?

Why did this have to happen to me?

"What are you doing? We need to get that treated. Now." He took another step forward and suddenly I saw it again, the image of the past. I felt my knees became weak as I dropped down and hugged my knees in defense.

'Stay away, you wouldn't want to contract his illness'

'He's insane..'

"Xiumin!" 

I tightly shut my ears, not wanting to hear any of it and shook my head furiously.

"No! I don't want to! You're just gonna leave me! Everyone did that and left me behind!!" I screamed in desperation as tears threatened to fell. 

It will happen.

I will be betrayed again.

'Stay away, you wouldn't want to contract his illness'

'He's insane..'

"Go away. Leave me alone!" I wailed as I broke into tears. My cheeks were wet with tears, and yet I can't stop the flow of it; I felt myself free-falling into the endless nightmare. 

Why did he have to see that?

Am I fated to be betrayed?

Under all those cloudy thoughts, I barely heard his footsteps went away. He came back seconds later after locking something and I glanced up, slightly wiping my puffy eyes with the end of my sleeve as I vaguely saw that the bathroom door was locked, with his back against the door.

"Let it out, I will be here if you ever need me.. Okay?" He flashed his signature smile, but this time, the dazzling smile wasn't as sincere as it always been. 

And somehow, he seemed...hurt?

I sniffled as my tears quickly lessened and forced my croaked voice to come out.

"Why? Why would you go that far for someone as me? You should run away like everyone else, like how they did to me. I'm disgusting!" 

I saw he sighed in denial as he pondered on how to arrange his words. He then walked towards me and crouched, so that he was at the same level as me as he rubbed the tears at the corner of my eyes with his thumb.

"No, you're not. I don't care what happened to you in the past, but you should never think of yourself as disgusting." he stopped for a while before stretching his hands and pulled me into a soothing hug.

"You're lovely as you are. Never forget that." his voice was serene and melodious like the light breeze as he whispered softly and rubbed soothing circles