I need a hug, even if it isn't real, I just need to be alright.

I want to tell my hyung's about my nightmares, but I just can't seem to.

I'm a freak, I knew this all along. Even since I was a baby, things with me were different.

That's what I am, different.

My parents didn't understand, and my hyung's wouldn't either. No one can know, and i'll never tell.

I guess this is my secret, my skeleton in the closet.

As i'm getting up I glance at my clock. Once again my nightmare has woken me up too early. The clock reads 2am. My hyung's won't be up for a few more hours.

Suddenly my chest tightens, my eyes water and my mind races with thoughts of the heart-breaking kind. All I can think about is how much I hate everything right now. Stuck in a depressive stance, I stare into the darkness, my glow in the dark stars have long lost light, while mine are beginning to dim. My tears threaten to flow and i blink them away. I get up, my knees cracking as I do, and head off to the bathroom. Never had i thought about it before - but as i'm standing in the bathroom, avoiding the mirror, I can't seem to rip my eyes away from Daehyun's razor. He is always so careless with his belongings.

If he knew just how beautiful that razor looked to me right now would he have taken it away? It calls me, beckon's me and before I know it, i've given in to the whispers.

I pick up the razor and break it apart. Hopefully no one heard it, because even if they did, I wouldn't - couldn't - stop now.

I pull out the shiny peice of metal from the cheap useless plastic. I see now why it has called me, it understands. I drag the sharp end across my thigh, and the sickening of the blade gives me what I need. Feeling, other than pain and fear.

I feel good. Almost as if the nightmares never even happend.

Just as I am about to put it to my skin again, someone knocks on the bathroom door. I don't want to be caught, but I can't quit at just one, so I go on a binge and slice faster, all the while asking who it was and what they wanted.

Of course, I should have known it was Daehyun, he usually wakes up first so he can go back to sleep while Himchan makes breakfast.

"Do you need in the bathroom Daehyun?" I ask, hoping he will just go back to bed.

"No. I just heard you up and thought we could play a game?"

"I was going to go back to bed actually. But I guess we can for a little while..."

"Cool meet me in the kitchen."

I can hear his footsteps leading to his destination, and I stash the blade under the bottom of the counter with a piece of tape holding my refuge for me in my secure place.

Daehyun chose Hungry Hungry Hippos, again I should have known.

We have been playing games for two whole hours. When will he go back to bed?

All I want to do now is go back into my room, and lay underneath the covers.

It's almost as if he heard my thoughts.

Daehyun headed back off to bed, and I followed in pursuit to my own bed. Sliding into the comfort of my covers, I lay with my only company being the thoughts i've been trying to escape. Only now, I have freinds. Freinds that my hyung's could never know about, because they would take them away. I need them, and like i've said, they wouldn't understand how they also needed me.

Daehyun's P.O.V

I had heard Zelo when he had woken up. I don't know if he knew it himself, but he wasn't sleeping silently. I could hear every cry of dispair, every scream of pain. I'm surprised I was the only one who woke up.

I listened to him go into the hall, and slip not so quietly into the bathroom. I could hear everything, from the breaking of plastic, to the sigh of content.

What is he doing?

I made my way out of my bed and down the hall. Standing in front of the door, I spoke to Zelo, letting him know I was there.

He had responded, and I could hear in his voice that he needed company, even if he tried to deny it.

I am also surprised that he didn't deny my insane request for a 2am game session.

As I walked away to the kitchen I could hear Zelo whisper a thank you. But not to me...

Then who?

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