Eunji spared no time in carrying out her plan, so I repressed my surfacing emotions. Like bubbles in boiling water, they repeatedly rose and with every pop, threatened to blow my cover off.

She stopped Shinyoung a short distance away from the school gate, much to the latter’s annoyance.

“Are you not going to move away?” Shinyoung spouted, clear beads of sweat clinging to her tightened face. The weather was getting warmer, considering it was already mid-spring.

Adamantly, Eunji stood her ground and shook her head. The sharp-tongued girl jerked forward to leave, but Eunji immediately said, “Shinyoung, listen to me.” Her voice was firm and authoritative as she directed her gaze straight at the girl in front of her.

Shinyoung returned her gaze after a brief moment and replied, “What do you want?”

“I’m – this concerns your family.” Eunji laid the card down and then requested to move to a less conspicuous place for conversation. Shinyoung’s expression remained unpleasant, but she appeared to be moved by the mention of her family. “I’m not going to give you more than five minutes,” she said, “It’s absurd how I’m even complying with you, but alright, I’ll give you a chance to speak.”

As we walked to a quiet area in the nearby park, Shinyoung turned to look at Soojung and I with a shade of contempt. She didn’t say or do anything more, though. We settled for standing beneath the dense canopy of a large tree. “Well then,” Eunji began, “I’m going to go straight to the point. I don’t have an ulterior motive in doing this. I just thought it’d be good for you to know.”

Shinyoung lifted her head to look at Eunji, maintaining a composed posture. But on close observation, her teeth seemed to chatter slightly and I found that amiss. She’s just maintaining a strong front, isn’t she? In retrospect, we are like that too. Sometimes, people have more traits in common than they think.

“Your biological mother is looking for you,” Eunji continued, and Shinyoung’s face instantly stiffened. I observed as her tightly clenched fist rose by her side, only to be brought down again by an abstract force.

“How do you know that?” she said through gritted teeth, her expressions gradually given over to her emotions.

“We volunteer at an orphanage and just happened to chance upon…” Eunji didn’t complete the sentence. She paused to monitor how Shinyoung was taking the information. It’s also a tough task to phrase it in a tactful way, I believe. But Shinyoung didn’t need any more details.

Glaring at Eunji through her tear-filled orbs, Shinyoung cried, “Now? After all these years I’ve lived well without her, she’s looking for me now? Why?”

Eunji’s voice was a balmy spring wind in contrast to the gusts surrounding Shinyoung. Softly, she called her name, attempting to pull her back to the present. The spring wind was a comfortable warm as it gently brushed across our cheeks.

Her hard walls came crumbling down as she fell into distress, and the remaining ashes and dust manifested themselves as clear drops crashing onto the dirt ground.

“We’ll arrange for you to meet if you don’t object to it.” Eunji took Shinyoung’s hand while speaking and gave it a squeeze. Shinyoung flinched, but she didn’t push her away.

“I’ll let you know” was her curt reply. She didn’t reveal anything else – not in the slightest, not even after her tears ran dry and she turned to leave. It was expected, given how we weren’t people she could trust just yet.

Before parting, she gave Eunji a brief message. Her tone still came across as spiteful, but there was an added sense of honesty. “This is all so foreign and I don’t know if I should thank you but… it’s so strange that you’re helping me when we were never on good terms, it’s just – you’re strange.”

As soon as Shinyoung was out of sight, a stream of air escaped from between Eunji’s lips as she crouched a little, in relief. “You did it!” Soojung slapped Eunji’s back. “This is the tamest I’ve ever seen her,” she further commented.

“It’s her vulnerable point, after all,” Eunji replied as she turned to look at the girl who was chuckling by her side. “She’s human too.”

Soojung pouted, “I knew that, of course, but she wasn’t acting very much like one so –”

At that, we all laughed simultaneously. There were no bad sentiments anymore, just remnants of an eventful yesterday and longing for more days filled with joy, together.

Shinyoung took just two days to return to Eunji. I heard this from Eunji, because neither Soojung nor I were present then. It was the end of our exam period, but Eunji had to stay back to finish a make-up paper since she fell sick on one of the days. Soojung and I were waiting for her at the ice cream parlour where we first gathered – back when the two of them made up with each other.

It was difficult to avoid the topic on my relationship with Eunji whenever Soojung and I were left alone. “Yah, have you even hinted her yet?” Soojung nudged me. “I don’t think she’s aware.”

My breathing became shallow as I avoided eye contact with her. “Hm…” I dragged the note as I looked at the menu, trying to escape the issue. “I’ll order first; I’m hungry!” I said while getting up. Soojung’s grip tugged on my wrist, pulling me backwards with force.

“Don’t you dare ignore me!” she exclaimed, “Run away any more and I won’t entrust my friend to you!” Despite how childish her words sounded, the warning got across to me. I didn’t want to be someone who shirks responsibility and backs away from challenges. How could I take care of Eunji, in that case? There were more than just a few things which troubled me, nonetheless.

“But Soojung,” I said, directing an unsteady gaze at her, “What if I’m not ready? What if – we’re not ready?”

She looked at me for a few moments, and matter-of-factly said, “Then you wait, of course.”

“How would we know –”

Soojung cut me off with a cry of frustration. “Why do you think so much?” she exclaimed incredulously, “Just adjust your path accordingly as the situation goes!”

“Haven’t you considered that you might lose the opportunity? Life is filled with uncertainties. You can’t hesitate about this.” Her voice held so much conviction that I was also drawn into the same persistence.

She’s right. I just have to let Eunji know, at the very least. How this is going to go… we shall decide together.

With a surge of boldness, I swerved to look Soojung in the eye. “Would it be abrupt if I tell her later? No, right?”

Her widened eyes stared back at mine as we spent a few moments surrounded by only the whirring of the ice cream machine, clinking of silverware, and muted chatter in the rest of the parlour.

She lightly laughed and piped up, “I think it’d be good to settle this rather than let it stay as a fog between you two.” Her gaze tore away from mine as she said, “It’d be the most ideal time when everything on our hands is lifted though.”

“So…” she paused as she turned back to me. “Maybe until Shinyoung’s issue is resolved? That’d be the best.” I nodded in response, my lips still pursed in contemplation.

While losing ourselves in the maze of thoughts, the two of us naturally stopped facing each other. “But,” she was the first to speak up again, “the fact that you’re considering so much shows how much Eunji means to you. And I appreciate that.”

“That girl has always been trying so hard to help and love other people,” she continued, voicing out the concern hidden in a nook of my heart, “so it’d be great if for once, there’s a change. That she could be the one receiving love instead. And I have the confidence that you will do that well.”

“Why would you –”

As I was turning to face Soojung once more, a familiar vivacious voice greeted our ears. “Guys!” Eunji stood before us with the brightest smile I had seen in a while. During that season, she must have been stressed out by the turn of events in school and with Shinyoung, even if she didn’t quite bring her own feelings up. Eunji always grumbled about crying in front of me, but truth be told, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I liked her revealing her weak side only to me, so I had an excuse to care for and protect her more. But even more than that, the genuine joy which she exuded right then warmed my heart. It was a refreshing burst of sunshine after a mid-day drizzle, the kind which results in rainbows.

“Eunji-ah! When did you get here?” Soojung had greeted her while I wandered off into a dimension of my own. “You didn’t hear our conversation, did you?” she finished off, wearing her heart on her sleeve as she always did.

“No, I only saw your mouths moving.” Eunji chortled and then teased, “Why? You guys are always keeping secrets from me, huh?”

“No, it’s nothing – oh!” Soojung suddenly exclaimed, her gaze leading ours towards the girl walking from the restroom nearby, towards our table.

“Ah yes, Shinyoung’s joining us for the celebration today!” Eunji announced, clapping softly as she did so.

Shinyoung took a few moments to cast her fleeting gaze upon us, and then meekly raised her right hand up to give us a little wave. Soojung managed to muster a stuttered response, “A-ah, hi…” It was clear that she wasn’t feeling very comfortable with our new guest, and we didn’t have to wonder why. I pressed my lips into a slight smile and said, “Welcome.” I wasn’t very surprised with the situation, to be honest. Being friends with Eunji, you grow accustomed to it.

Sensing the awkward atmosphere, Eunji quickly clasped her hands together and exclaimed, “So, ice-cream?” The other two girls remained reticent, so I took Eunji’s lead and enthusiastically called for the pistachio flavor.

“Soojung, Shinyoung, what about you two?” I faced them with a mild grin. Her eyes meeting mine, Soojung seemed to have composed herself a bit.

“Strawberry for me, please,” she made her order with a hand raised by her face. Shinyoung followed in a small voice, “Me too.”

“Okay!” I acknowledged their orders and headed for the counter. Once I had my back facing them, I released the held breath. I once heard that the start to being genuinely kind is simply to do it, even if you have to act. Then little by little, it’ll become a way of life, a part of your character.

“Howon!” Eunji nudged me as we stood behind the counter. “What toppings do you want?” I turned to look at her, and there was barely a ten centimeter gap between our nose tips. I felt a warm flush rising from within, and quickly faced the cold glass panels instead. Pretending to be occupied with the wide array of toppings, I successfully averted Eunji’s gaze. “Oat flakes,” I told the worker waiting with a plastic scoop, “Thanks.” It wasn’t like we’ve never been this close before, but for reasons, I began to be more aware – the distances between us, the way light reflected off her curved lashes and how her cheeks slightly protruded when she smiled. It would almost be embarrassing to admit how much I noticed.

Shinyoung gradually opened up to us as we spent the afternoon over ice cream and discussed vacation plans. And what we saw was an entirely different person from before. She spoke softly but passionately about the things she was enthusiastic about, and quietly smiled as she listened to us talk about typical teenage pastimes like watching movies and singing karaoke. “Shinyoung, do you sing?” Eunji casually asked, and then took another bite off the waffle cone. Amusement playing on her lips, Shinyoung wistfully replied, “Only at home, behind the doors of my bedroom.”

“Join us then!” Eunji immediately exclaimed, “It’s pretty fun! The last time I went, anyway. That was a few years back.”

“I feel like you’re just going to hog the mic though,” I pointed out, to which Eunji vigorously denied. “I’ll make sure everyone gets to sing as they wish okay, and we’ll dance too,” she rattled on, overwhelmed by excitement for the long-awaited vacation, “It’s the best when you let yourself go completely and forget about image!”

“It’s alright, I think you guys can go ahead –” Shinyoung began to speak, only to be interrupted by Soojung as their hands briefly brushed by each other’s. Meeting her in the eyes, Soojung firmly said in an assuring tone, “Do come if you’re free.” She still couldn’t quite manage a smile, but I was impressed by Soojung’s attempt to forgive and reconcile. Eunji might have started it, but Soojung kept up with it faster than expected, despite how difficult we all knew it was for her. Shinyoung turned away for a while, hiding her face from us. Giving her the time she needed, we moved on to naming the songs we wanted to sing and even sang some parts right there and then. After a couple of minutes, however, Shinyoung told us that she needed to head home for dinner and we didn’t hold her back. Eunji called out to her one last time before she left. “Keep in touch, hm?” Eunji said, making the hand gesture of a phone by her ear. Shinyoung nodded hastily before carrying on, her quick steps betraying her emotions.

“Well, I think that was great for a first time,” I spoke up first, my gaze hovering over the both of them.

Eunji promptly followed, starting off by addressing Soojung. “I’m sorry I did this without telling you. But I’m so proud of the way you treated her! From the bottom of my heart.”

Soojung rolled her eyes upwards, releasing her frustration for the first time that evening. “I felt really suffocated at first,” she admitted, “but seeing how different she was outside of her usual setting, seemingly with all her defenses down, my heart went out to her as well. As unbelievable as that was. She looked so vulnerable I just had to.”

“And she apologized to me, while you guys were getting the ice cream. It was a short one, but for someone like her to place her pride down like that, it was really something. Eunji, did you place a spell of some sort over her?”

Eunji simply laughed in response. “I met her by coincidence outside the school while I was leaving,” she explained, “She stopped me and said she was willing to meet her biological mother. She wasn’t with anyone else, so I asked if she had any plans, and she said no, so I invited her to join us. That’s all I did, really.”

I let slip a light grin. “Eunji, you make it sound so easy, but it really isn’t.” Soojung concurred, nodding profusely with her lips puckered.

“It’s not that difficult if you try, though,” she returned, “Shinyoung’s just like anyone else, when we strip things down to their essentials.”

We talked for around another ten minutes until Soojung reminded us of the time. “Well, it’s about time to leave?” she said while glancing at her wrist watch, “I need to be home by 7.30 pm for dinner; Mum’s cooking today.”

Realizing that I was running out of time, my eyes blinked erratically as I gathered my thoughts. “Eunji,” I called, “I’ll walk you home today. I’m going to the vicinity.” She raised an eyebrow and doubtfully said, “Really? I’m totally fine, you know.”

“Come on, I’m going the same way anyway,” I convinced her as we left the parlour.

“Where are you going, though?” Eunji mused as she kicked some dust. “You’ve never come this way before.” The tree leaves rustled in the wind, intensifying the tingling sensation within my chest. My eyes stayed fixed on the ground, watching our footsteps: sometimes in tandem, sometimes off beat, yet always beside each other.

I eventually blurted out an excuse that was far from believable. “Nothing much, just – visiting a friend.”

To my surprise, Eunji broke out in a guffaw. Bewildered, I turned to face her, her perfectly curved row of white teeth shining like pearls as she laughed. “Why are you suddenly speaking in Busan dialect?” she exclaimed, revealing the fact which only then dawned upon me. My nerves were making everything much more difficult than it had to be. But why does it matter if I can make Eunji laugh? Maybe I’m trying too hard.

“Yah,” she began speaking in dialect as well, “We should speak like that more often. Isn’t it fun?” A small airy laugh escaped from under my breath. “It’s refreshing!” I joined in with her fervor, and grinned at her. “I haven’t spoken in dialect for so long, except for short daily conversations with my parents, over the phone or video call.”

“Same. It’s a really nice feeling, relieving it again like this,” Eunji said, a smile still lingering on her lips. Our steps brought us to an old wooden swing just a few hundred meters away from Eunji’s place. “Ah!” she cried with joy, “Do you want to play this?”

“This is really near to your place, isn’t it?” I asked in curiosity.

“Yeah, it is but I haven’t played it in ages because there’s no one who would accompany me.” My gaze fell on her downcast expression, a trace of sulkiness evident in the mild tug of her smile. She was child-like in certain ways. Jung Eunji, who stayed alone just like me, because her mother and brother stayed behind in Busan while she moved to Seoul to study at the unpredictable age of thirteen. Jung Eunji, whose tough past made her grow mature for her age in so many ways, yet failed to snuff out the child in her.

I ran to the swings before she did. Sitting down on the wooden plank which made a small creaking noise, I beckoned her over with a delighted grin. She was taken aback for a moment, and then hurriedly placed her bag down by the tree and took the seat beside me.

I can still remember the rustic, humid smell in the air. It was the time between evening and night, and it felt like it was about to rain. Lee Howon, the time is now.

With a push against the sand, we propelled ourselves a few feet above the ground and kept swaying by kicking every now and then. Only the clanging of the metal chain and swoosh of the wind by our ears remained in those few minutes. It was the time when the apricot sky faded into dark blue and the cricket chirps became shrill, that for the first time in my fifteen years of life, I professed the stirrings of my heart. I tried my best to shove aside any feelings of tension, because as silly as it sounds, I wanted to make a cool confession. I didn’t want to appear timid, so I could give Eunji a sense of assurance.

Abruptly, I pressed my feet hard on the ground, halting the motion, and then got up without notice. The noise must have caught Eunji’s attention though, because she glanced over. Remaining silent, I made my way in front of her, and steadily caught her by the shoulders as she swung downwards. The metal chains sounded their protests again until Eunji’s swing, too, became still. Eunji’s intense gaze was about to burn through me but she didn’t say a word. I broke our eye contact for a moment as I moved each of my hands to gently hold hers which were still clutching onto the chains. Upon the prompt, she released her grip and I went on to hold both her hands in my palms. Her touch was cold, but my own was getting warmer by the second as my heart rate escalated. I took the liberty to tighten the clasp, and following a short pause, met eyes with her again. Her eyes held a glimmer even brighter than usual, under the moonlight’s soft glow. Doing all I could to keep my gaze from wavering, I swallowed in anticipation.

Still in rich Busan dialect, I finally said, “I want to take care of you, Eunji-ya. I like you.” It was the time when the moon was just a step away from being full and the wind was billowing strands of our hair like rolling sea currents that I, Lee Howon, told Jung Eunji for the first time that I liked her, that much.