If we skipped school twice in a row, we’d be easily caught, so both of us turned up at school the following day. After Shinyoung’s confrontation the day before, we had prepared our hearts. What did I prepare for? you might be thinking. It was Eunji’s problem, after all, not mine. I prepared to see a different side of her, to give her my most comforting presence, to lend her my shoulder. She might end up not needing any of it at all, but I prepared nevertheless. I also promised myself to be as understanding as possible; whatever it was, it was all in the past.

As expected, plain white posters with striking black text were pasted all over the school compounds.

ATTENTION: Jung Eunji caused her own father’s death three years ago and falsely accused her friend for her own offence of repeated shop theft! Do not associate with hypocrites like her or you’ll get hurt! This notice is written by people who had close relations with her, and was deeply hurt by her heartless betrayal.

I instantly turned to look at Eunji, ignoring what I felt or what I thought (because she was more important). Her face was void of emotion and her eyes dull, drained of the sunshine that filled it before.

“Eunji…” I said softly as I reached out to hold her.

She squeezed a smile and turned to me. In a (pretense) cheery voice, she said, “I’m alright. It’s okay. Let’s go; we’re running late!”

She sprinted off into the distance and I dashed after her. We got to our class quickly and sat ourselves down. It was obvious that the atmosphere in class was different from usual.

“Jung Eunji, your habit of late coming is getting from bad to worse. Do you think you can get away with it? Come with me to the principal’s office after school,” our form teacher, Mdm Shin, sternly chided. She was strict as a teacher and it wasn’t uncommon for her to reprimand students that way, but I could hear something different in her voice. Moreover, Eunji had been like that for as long as I’ve known her and Mrs Shin had never said a word about it.

I raised my hand. “Mrs Shin, I was also late for quite a few days this semester. I should go too.”

Her eye brows scrunched up like it always did when she was puzzled. “Lee Howon? Why would you? You’ve been a good student. You’re fine.”

She was about to commence the lesson but I spoke up again. I just couldn’t let it go. “No, I don’t think it’s okay. As a scholar, I should have excellent conduct but I’ve been losing steam. I should go.”

She looked somewhat annoyed and dismissively said, “If you insist. Then both of you come with me after school.”

It was lunch break when I finally had time to talk to Eunji. The friends who usually shared lunch break with her had discreetly left earlier. Across the few periods of lessons, we heard many questioning voices. The class was quickly emptied of people, leaving the two of us alone, surrounded by striking silence. She began heading for the door.

“Eunji-ya,” I called. She stopped in her tracks and turned around slightly.

“A-are you okay?” That was all I managed to say. There were a lot of things I wanted to say to her but I couldn’t put them to words. All I wanted to do was to hold her and let her know that I’d always be beside her, but I could already feel my hands trembling. I clearly prepared in vain, for I still found myself helpless in the actual situation.

She wore a little smile again. “I’m alright. Let’s go for lunch. It’s going to be real crowded if we don’t leave by now. We’re already late –”

I dragged my feet to where she was and used all my strength to firmly place an arm across her shoulders. She froze entirely – her words and her body. She jerked slightly in my embrace.

I figured I should say something. “You don’t have to keep putting on a strong front. I know you’re strong, but it’s okay to show your feelings; it’s okay to cry.” She did not say a word, but I could sense her presence softening beside me and the tilt of her head downwards. I could almost hear her silent tears. But Eunji didn’t cry. She didn’t cry then.

We went for lunch, pretending like nothing happened, though the pain in our hearts reminded us of the judgemental comments we had heard throughout the day. Even during lunch, there were occasional murmurs and spiteful remarks from another table.

“People can be so hypocritical sometimes. I never expected Jung Eunji to be that kind of person.”

“I know. No matter how much resentment you harbor, how could anyone cause her own father’s death and still live happily like that with no remorse?”

“She was in my History class before. I wanted to talk to her once, but I hesitated. Thankfully I did, because I won’t know how to deal with such people.”

We distracted ourselves by talking about random topics under the sun, but there was no denying: we could still hear the words clearly.

“Let’s get out of here quickly,” I nudged her as I spoke in a soft voice.

“Don’t worry about it, Howon. Let them say what they want to. I’ve promised myself not to get hurt over people who are not worth it.”

Unconsciously, I rolled my eyes. “Eunji!” I exclaimed exasperatedly under my breath, “But I can see that you’re hurting!”

She swallowed a gulp and avoided my gaze.

We left immediately after she had finished her food. “We still have some time. Let’s go to the rooftop and get some fresh air,” I suggested. “Alright,” she said, “I’ll just go to the washroom for a moment.”

I waited for her outside the washrooms where a row of lockers were neatly stacked up against one another; my back was leaned against one of the lockers. From a distance, I noticed a familiar-looking girl approaching me. She walked up and stood facing me, with a strange look of worry colouring her face.

“Lee Howon,” she said, “You’ve been hanging around Jung Eunji a lot. Don’t.” She shook her head a couple of times.

“Who are you to decide who I hang around with –” I retorted, but she interrupted my words.

“I am speaking honestly. She doesn’t treat her friends well.” The girl turned to leave after presenting that statement. Just as she did so, I caught a brief glance of her nametag. Jung Soojung.

At that precise moment, Eunji returned from the washroom. We left for the rooftop, but I couldn’t keep my mind off Soojung’s words. Why did she seem so genuine?

Once we reached the windy rooftop, Eunji laid herself down on a random spot, ignoring that the floor was littered with dust. She patted the space next to her, and I simply sat down beside her. She looked up at me. “You’re not lying down? The sky is quite pretty today.”

“U-uh,” I stammered, my eyes fixed on the ground.

She caught my concerns and said, “Is it because the floor is dirty? Well, you can just sit then.” A chuckle then escaped from her lips as she looked back to the azure blue sky dotted by fluffy white clouds.

Her words made me feel bad for being particular, so I too, laid down beside her.

I faced the sky as well, and although I couldn’t see her face, I felt her smiling gently.

“The weather is great today!” she exclaimed, followed by peals of laughter.

I remained silent, as we stayed still and felt the breeze lightly caressing our faces. Then, we heard the sounds of distant chattering and laughing, and the bell signaling that we had fifteen minutes left of our lunch.

“Howon…” Eunji said, her voice earnest and raw. I randomly thought about how much I loved her talking voice.

“Hm?” I sounded, as I watched the clouds high above me floating by slowly.

“Did you really not doubt me? There is so much that you still don’t know, after all.” I heard her shifting her position slightly.

“I...” I began, “I can’t say I didn’t. But no matter what it was, you are not the same now. I like the you of the present, so I don’t care what you were like before.”

She snickered in the slightest. “Lee Howon, you’re so bold.”

“Why do you say that?”

“You sound like you aren’t afraid of getting hurt.”

“But I am. I just believe that you wouldn’t.”

A moment of silence washed over us. Eunji suddenly got up and surveyed our surroundings. After she was done, she laid back down and said, “All clear. I can tell you what I want to say then.”

“Go ahead,” I mumbled, and then realized that I had been subconsciously tracing her name with my fingers.

“What those posters are saying… are true. I did cause my dad’s death, and I did accuse my friend for my own offence. I was terrible.” She lightly laughed.

“But you’re not anymore,” I comforted, in a way. She gently smiled at me, and then carried on with her story.

“At that time, my dad had just confessed of having a one-night stand under the influence of alcohol, and I couldn’t forgive him no matter how much he pleaded or promised. My mum already did, but I still held a burning grudge and got upset at my mum too for being so soft-hearted. I left the house and refused to go back. I settled for staying at the sauna. To think about it now, I was so foolish, because what change would my tantrum have brought about when my dad already realized his mistake? I think I was just so disappointed in my dad and wanted him to know that. I really respected him before, you see.”

At some point, I turned to face her, but she continued staring into the sky. Her orbs reflected the sky, and I wondered what she was seeing in them.

“Because I kept holding all that anger within me, I became emotionally frustrated and vented it by stealing from the shops in my neighborhood. I was scared of getting caught, so I got my friend to keep watch for me. Of course, it was difficult to not get caught when I did it every other day. The police eventually found their way to my house, but I…” She sniffled a few times before continuing.

“I pushed the blame to my friend, claiming that it was she who stole while I just accompanied her. When she left with the police, she didn’t even say anything, but her face was filled with utter shock. T-then, my heart was hardened,” she began to break out in little sobs as she said, “I felt guilt but I didn’t do anything about it. I… I let the one person who cared so much for me be affected by a police record. The worst was my betrayal, so I understand why she hated me after she had served the few months in the girls’ home.” She paused, and I assumed she was letting the quiet tears fall.

I moved my hand closer to hers and clasped it firmly. She glanced over for a moment and then turned back.

“Ah, I’ve already long gotten over it, why am I crying like this?” she muttered and laughed at herself.

“Because it means something to you,” I replied, and the bell signaling the end of our lunch rang shortly after.

“Time’s up,” she mumbled and tried to get up, but I pulled her back down with my hand that was still holding hers.

“How are you going to go back looking like that and with unsettled feelings?” I said, looking into her eyes which shimmered with tears.

“Is a scholar like you telling me to be late for class?” She turned to face me with her eyes narrowed and jaw dropped.

I moved closer to her ear and whispered, “I’m telling you to skip the class altogether.” Then, I moved back to my initial position and said, louder, “You haven’t finished what you wanted to say, did you?”

I heard her breathe and then she began speaking again. “Yeah. Basically, I never got to make up with that friend, because she wouldn’t listen to me no matter how much I tried. While I was staying at the sauna and supporting myself with a part-time job at the convenience store, my mum visited me quite frequently. She kept urging me to return home, but I simply refused.”

“Wait, how old were you then?” I interrupted.

“Twelve years old.”

I gasped, and she responded with “I know.”

“You weren’t of legal age to work yet right?”

“I lied about my age, and I guess the store manager could tell that I was pretty desperate. She didn’t know I was staying away from home though.”

“Hmm.” I nodded in acknowledgement.

“Eventually, my dad came looking for me,” she continued, “But I was still mad at him, so I didn’t want to talk to him. We were talking by the roadside, and he kept trying to persuade me. I got irritated and rudely told him to ‘shut up’. He became silent and I didn’t know how he reacted to it because I wasn’t even looking at him. A few moments later, a loud tight slap came down on my cheek. I exploded and shouted into his face, spouting lots of things that weren’t nice at all. Then, I dashed across the road to get away from him.” Her voice became quieter and quieter. “The sound of a loud crash had me turning back, and I saw that a passing car had knocked him down. It knocked some sense back into me too.”

She began sniffling again, and I told her that it was fine.

“It was a miracle that you survived though,” I pointed out.

She nodded. “I learnt my lesson, so now I try not to let my anger get to me, and I remind myself to think from others’ perspectives.”

I chuckled. “That’s a lesson I need to learn as well.”

“You will, in time.”

“Hopefully,” I replied, smiling back at her. “Oh, and the friend you mentioned –” I said, but Eunji completed my sentence.

“It was Soojung.”

I looked at her, my eyes opened wide with shock at how she anticipated my words. She simply returned with a knowing look.

We returned to class for the rest of the school day. Tongues were still wagging about the same issue, but after the talk we had, Eunji and I took it more easily. After school, we patronized the café again, and it was the first time we went there together. I ended up taking a nap again after I was done with my work. When I woke up with slightly swollen eyes, there was no trace of Eunji.

I sighed. You promised you wouldn’t do that again. Ugh, this girl.

I packed my things and prepared to leave. Just as I got up, however, I noticed a messy scribble on the curved surface of the disposable cup that was facing me. I picked up the cup which Eunji had been drinking from just an hour ago. I roughly made out a series of eleven numbers. My heart rate began to accelerate rapidly as I typed the numbers into my phone and pressed dial. Someone picked up from the other end.

“Eunji?” I said with uncertainty.

“Hey, Howon.” Her familiar voice sounded so near over the phone, and for some reason my lips began to curl into a smile.