Title: 4/5

This reminds me of something WongFu Productions would name something. Yes, that is a compliment.

That being said, I was pretty drawn to your title. A lot could happen in a week, and I was curious to see what the situation of it was. It’s simple, but effective.

Poster/Background: 0/5

None Yet.

Forward/Description: 5/5

First of all, thank you for no vibrant colors and big fonts.

Secondly, I think your forward was simple, but great enough to get people into your story. I was really interested as soon as I read the background info.

Plot: 29/30

I actually like this plot very much. It’s a very cute and genuine plot, one that’s relatable and not too incredibly cliché.

The thing that really got me is this whole chase aspect, of having someone so close, then losing them. And how someone would want to try again, even though they know the same thing can happen again. It seemed to me like Jinyoung’s sole importance was in getting what was rightfully his, and that was really sweet. I’ve said this before, I’m a er for sweet and cute stories. The time limit also puts a nice setting into this plot.

Writing Style: 5/10

I’m sorry for giving you such a low score, but there is just some things I  have grown to find a big turn off in fan fiction.

The first is the overuse of Korean words. If they are scattered, I am lenient on it, but your words where a little overused. The biggest example I have of this is the use of “wae”. The term “wae” is acceptable when it is by itself, but when it is used as a replacement for every single “why”, it gets to be a little much. Please, PLEASE tone it down a little bit.

Another is the use of emoticons. I understand this story is playful, but the use of emoticons just changes the tone to unprofessional. It is one of the jobs as an author to describe one’s mood and facial expressions through words, emoticons shouldn’t be the easy way out. Instead, please consider using describing words. At first , the emoticon thing was cute, but much like the Korean words, it began to be a little much.

Flow: 14/15

As much as I will mention the abrupt ending, the other aspects of the story really have no problem with flow. They were best friends before, so it is reasonable to think their actions were so comfortable with each other once Garra actually gave him a chance. And the awkward stage of their separation was also covered appropriately.

As for this ending I keep mentioning. Yes, It needed to happen, but I wish that chapter revolved around something other than just a quick goodbye.

Characterization: 9/15

These characters were very simple.

Garra was simply the girl who was hard to get, and Jinyoung was the best friend that wanted her. I would think these characters would have more depth, but Jinyoung did things solely for her and her only, and Garra was like a normal teenager. There really isn’t any character to analyze. Maybe if I got to experience a little bit of a different side of them, I would change my mind, but the length and plot of the story, which revolves solely around love, doesn’t allow me to get into them too much.

Ending:  7/10

I was seriously surprised it ended so abruptly. They just got into their relationship, were cute for a day, and suddenly had to say goodbye. I understand the point of this being only within the course of a week, but it all seemed so sudden to me. And I was sort of disappointed a little, that Jinyoung wasn’t the one who was most hurt during the goodbye. He fought to get her, and it just made it seem like he was letting her slip away easily.

Grammar/Spelling : 9/10

…Are you sure English isn’t your first language? Your grammar is better than some of the authors that DO speak English. I could not bring myself to find one big grammatical error in your writing. Sentence structure was good, appropriate use of commas, punctuation; all of it was great.

The only mistakes that I did find were common typos that I didn’t even notice were mistakes at first. You learned very well!

But, since I don’t know where else to put this (this could be considered grammar though, right?) every time there is a person speaking, you must start on a new line.

 "Well then, you better get back to Seoul, back to your fangirls." "But I will come back for you." I told her and she grinned, "You better."

Should be:

"Well then, you better get back to Seoul, back to your fangirls."

"But I will come back for you." I told her and she grinned.

"You better."

Otherwise, it looks clustered.

Overall Enjoyment: 3/5

Your story was really cute and all, but I just couldn’t bring myself to love it because of three things:

1: The overuse of emoticons.

2: The overuse of Korean words.

3: It was much too short, and I thought it ended too abruptly.

I really liked your concept, and the plot was really good, don’t get me wrong, but those little aspects in 1 and 2 just were a turn off. Your story was enjoyable because it was very cute, but when I reached the end of chapter 7, I thought to myself “That’s it?!” I commend you for the idea of the concept going along with the title, but in a strange way, my want of more became a turn off to my overall enjoyment.

Total: 85/ 105 = 80.9%