Yes, yes, most of you guessed it. I'm actually very surprised you didn't figure it out earlier. Updated because I can't withold the Overdose parody. You might want to have the Korean version playing while you read.

Or, alternatively, you might want to play this, which sleeplessnight made for me:

Deer Luhan,

You guys are never going to be able to top this year’s birthday present.  Hilarious.

Leigh

I really should have guessed it from the moment they came on stage, but it wasn’t until they were forty-five seconds into Jump!, with the people in the O2 going absolutely wild in the audience, that I finally twigged, because it was my choreography that I’d made with Kai back in China that they were using.  Absolutely dumbfounded, I turned to demand Abbie how on earth she’d pulled this off without abducting anybody, but she’d vanished.  I was surrounded by ecstactic moshers who were yelling along to the music.

At the one minute mark, I could no longer take it: I jumped to my feet, stumbling momentarily without my crutches, but they were both lying on the ground and bending to pick them up was going to hurt, so I just ignored them and started shoving my way through the crowd as best I could.

It really wasn’t a good experience, but fortunately I was pretty distinctive in my blue ballgown and everybody recognised the birthday girl, so they parted to let me through.  It still took a couple of minutes to get to the stage because walking really wasn’t easy and it made me extremely tired.

The boys wearing the Tao and Xiumin masks spotted me and broke away to pull me up.

“ you, Johnny Chan!” I yelled as he came spinning past me.

“You’re dumb!” he replied in Korean before bursting into laughter.  Still semi-incredulous, I just stood there at the edge of the stage as the song slowly ground to a halt.  Tao and Xiumin had left me to get back into position and finish up the performance.  It was only when the screams and applause nearly took the roof off – Two Steps From Hell could never go wrong – that I realised it must have been a really good one and that I hadn’t actually seen most of it.

“Hey.”  Somebody nudged me carefully in the ribs as Chen grabbed his microphone from before and went to the front of the stage, pushing his mask off.

“That’s it from us tonight!” he called, waving the mask in his free hand.  “We’ve been found out!”

“You ruined it,” Kai told me with a massive grin.  “We told your friend to put you right at the back so we could get Sehun to ask you for a dance the second you arrived at the stage because Jump! would have been over in the time it would have taken you to get from the back of this place to the font.”  He paused thoughtfully.  “That said, he was too worried about your condition to actually do that, so I was going to have to instead.”

“You lot are absolute b*st*rds,” I told him weakly.  “I even bumped into Chen the other day at university and he pretended he didn’t ing know me.”

“This has been EXO, everybody!” Kris yelled into the microphone as the others lined up for a bow.  “Thanks for being a wonderful audience!  We’re gonna steal the birthday girl now and leave you all to party!”

It seemed to be some kind of secret signal for Kai, because he scooped me off my feet without warning and headed for the wings at a sprint.

“What the hell?” I yelped, clinging onto him for dear life.  “Are you abducting me from my own birthday party?”

“Yep, and there is nothing you can do about it,” he told me happily as he pushed open the door to one of the waiting rooms backstage and deposited me on a couch there.

“I can’t just leave my own party—” I objected, trying to stand up again, but Tao came flying through the door seconds later and landed on my lap.

“It’s the birthday girl!” he yelled before smothering my face in kisses.

“Stop!  You’re making Sehun jealous!”  Baekhyun practically ripped him off me.  I looked up immediately, but Sehun wasn’t yet in sight.  I turned back to Kai instead, who had a massive sh*t-eating grin on his face.  He’d taken his mask off – and wig, too, apparently – to reveal a mess of blond hair sticking up all over the place.

“But that’s my party,” I objected.  “I’m supposed to be there—”

He shook his head.  “Nah, it’s fine.  The invitations said you’d only be there until eight at the very latest because you still get tired easily due to your injuries and that everybody was welcome to stay on and rave once you’d left.  There’s a professional DJ taking over right now.”

The door opened again and the rest of them piled in, taking their masks and wigs off to reveal their Overdose hair.  I blinked for a few seconds as I looked around at them.  They were all smiling brightly.

“What are you all doing here?” I asked eventually.

Chanyeol faked offence.  “Are you not happy to see us?”

“But you’ve got a comeback,” I pointed out.  “Kai looks like a mad scientist.”

Kai choked and Baekhyun whacked him on the back.

“Yeah, that’s not until the ninth,” Lay said, waving an airy hand.  “We already know the choreography like the backs of our hands, anyway.”

“More importantly, it’s your birthday and you never got in contact with us,” said Suho, “so we decided a surprise visit was in order.”

“Excuse you, that was me.”  Chen elbowed him in the ribs.  Suho gave him an unbudging look.

“Technically, that was Kyuhyun and Changmin—”

“No, they were the ones who decided it should be her birthday—”

I looked from one to the other in confusion as they continued their bickering.  It was in Korean and Korean was one of my mother tongues, but I really did not understand what on earth they were saying.

Sehun eventually interrupted them, looking as baffled as I felt.  “What have Kyuhyun and Changmin got to do with this?”

Chen shot him a judging look.  “You wouldn’t even begin to understand.  It was all for you, darling maknae.”

Now looking downright flummoxed, Sehun opened his mouth again, but Kai suddenly distracted me from him by popping up in front of me and blocking my view of Sehun’s profile.

“What did you name the husky?” he asked me eagerly.

That was when it clicked.  “What the hell?  That was you guys?”

He nodded.  “What did you call him?”

I didn’t answer that I hadn’t decided on anything yet because my mind was too busy connecting the dots and also still somewhat reeling.

“How did you convince my mum to take in a puppy that got left on the doorstep?” I demanded.  “And how long have you all been in the UK?”

“That was your dad.”  Kai’s smile was almost blinding.  “Chen came over last week to make sure everything was in order and to go pick the puppy out so your dad could get your mum used to the idea of a dog.  We all only arrived mid-morning today.”

Kris elbowed his way in.  “Kai, why are you making her cry on her birthday?”

I raised a hand to my cheek and discovered tears on it, which I hastily wiped away.

“I’m just happy,” I reassured him quickly.  “This feels like a dream, to be honest.  I think my phone was destroyed in hospital in Changsha and there were so many people pretending to be me I didn’t know how to get back in contact with you, so I was planning to come across in summer to break into the dorms, but you all beat me to it.”

Kris watched me for a couple of moments before handing me a handkerchief.