Saejin's POV

I woke up lying on the floor and my body ached so much. I thought I was paralyzed. But then I remembered the event happened last night and the next thing I did was to sob again. My eyes were so puffy already and okay i'm so tired of crying. I wiped my tears again and "you're not worth my tears" I said as I sighed. 

I went downstairs not expecting anyone there since my mom is usually working at this point and she was trying her best to move on. I still had a blurry vision from all the crying I did for the past 3 days? week? Not just because of Baekhyun. I am broken because I lost a man I know is worth my tears. My father is my hero and my protector. My heart clenched as I remembered how my dad suffered so much.

November 19, 2013 (flashback)

With a tube on his mouth, I was staring at my dad lying on the hospital bed particularly inside the ICU. "Dad, don't give up, please. I love you so much" tears started to fall again and I felt a pat on my back. I needed comfort and yes he was there. No, not Baekhyun. Sehun was there to comfort me. Sehun took the place of Baekhyun and he was the one who took care of me. Funny how he is a member of Exo and yet he still had the time to comfort me and for Baekhyun? I didn't know where he was right at that grievous time. He will always tell me, "I'm busy, okay? Stop calling me. I will call you if I have time"

He never did. I'm not a clingy girlfriend, but that time? I needed him. 

(Present) 

I the television and wow, why am I so lucky today. The music video of Exo, 'What is Love' is showing. Out of stupidity, I watched it.

~A never-ending happy ending, happily ever after
I will trust you, protect you and comfort you
I will be on your side
I will never leave your side~ 

And you know what happened after I heard those lyrics? Yeah, I cried again. But it was different now. I was starting to feel the pain and flashbacks from the past clouded my mind.

(flashback)

"I have a question for Baekhyun-ah" the MC was Super Junior's Shindong that time. "Ne?" Baekhyun asked as he smiled making the audience scream because of his aegyo. 

"Do you like Mun Kayoung?" 

I wanted to punch Shindong that time. Because if he never asked that question I won't be crying. It hurts. So much. "She's very pretty and maybe I do." making the audience scream more. Not because they hated it. They loved them. 'Kahyun' couple they say. She's only 18 and they're pairing her to a 22 year old . 

And of course, because of Exo's popularity, issues started to circulate again about them dating. I was hurt. And yet he was blinded. Blinded not to see my broken heart, because he liked the rumor. He even tried his best to keep that rumor going. He had always talked about her onscreen. 

"Why are you calling? You know i'm at a club and being myself? Can't you just atleast hangout with your friends rather than me?" Baekhyun hissed on the phone that made my heart clenched tightly. 

It has been a month since we last saw each other. And now he was back. I was happy, yet scared because I know it won't be the same anymore. "Bacon!! Welcome back! I missed you so much!" I opened my arms for him.. well I tried because he just shrugged it off and went straight to the bed. "I'm tired. I'm going to sleep already. Goodnight". I wanted to understand him, but he changed. Everything has changed. He was not the Baekhyun I know. This was why I was afraid to let him accept the invitation of becoming a trainee because I just knew he will change. I just slept on the couch that night as I cried myself to sleep.

I was surprised to see Sehun infront of me with a hoodie and shades. I was outside our apartment going out and to breathe some fresh air. I didn't even recognize him not until he showed his eyes for a second.

"What are you doing here, Se....young?" so close.

"Nothing, I just want to hangout with you. Is that okay?"

"Why me?"

"Because I can see you are sad and I want to make you happy!" He grinned at me.

"Don't you have any schedules?"

"We were given a break for hours! Now c'mon! Let's not waste my time!" he cheered as he pulled me and I just smiled by the moment

We went to drink bubble tea.. we both like bubble tea. And we were walking at the park, side by side.

"Sehunnie, where's Baekhyun?" Sehun became tensed

"uhm.. I really don't know. Doing his things" he murmured

"oh..." my heart ached that time because I actually knew where he was.

Hanging out with Mun Kayoung or some s girls. What's new. Ruining my moment, my phone rang and a glint of excitement was evident in my eyes as I grabbed my phone hoping that Baekhyun was calling, but it was replaced with disappointment and anxiety. My mom was calling.. "Yeoboseyo?"

"Saejin honey!" her voice was trembling, "Your father     " I quickly ended the phone call and I just knew what happened. I want to breakdown right now but I NEEDED to go to the hospital.

"Saejin.. gwaenchanha?" Sehun looked so worried seeing my face after the phone call. "I need to go to the hospital" I said while shaking.

"Mom, what happened?!" I exclaimed as tears started to fall on my cheeks

"he's.. he's...gone.. your father.. he's gone" she was bawling and I felt weak and my whole world collapsed. I fell on my knees and bawled. Sehun bent down and was now hugging me. I felt secluded, but I wished Baekhyun was the one comforting and hugging me. "I'm here, Saejin. I was always here" I felt hopeless and weak. I wanted to collapse that time. Sehun did not leave my side even though they have a practice that day, but he ditched all of his schedule just to be with me. He became my protector that day. I felt anger as I called Baekhyun because as soon as he picked up his phone "What?!" and that was when I threw my phone on the wall. 

The same day I went to the apartment with Sehun to pack some clothes because I will spend the entire week in my dad's wake. And soon enough I was crying again and Sehun hugged me tightly not until Baekhyun entered the apartment and punched Sehun..

(present)

I was sobbing as I remember these painful memories.. that I never wanted to go back to. I wanted to scream, but no one will care. I wanted someone right now. Not Baekhyun. Not anyone. 

I needed Sehun.