In love. Those words were foreign to Kibum, unfamiliar and frightening. He was supposed to be emotionless and cold, he wasn't supposed to fall in love.

Kibum mulled over these thoughts as he was lying in bed that morning, a strange, sick feeling in his stomach, wondering how things got this far. It wasn't his intention to get completely attached to Jonghyun, and he knew it would come back to bite him in the .

But he didn't think that day would be today. He should have expected it, waking up with a pit in his stomach, sweat on his forehead, shallow breaths; he must have woken up from a nightmare.

They were meeting up that morning, a seemingly perfect Saturday morning when the weather was relatively warm, despite it being the middle of winter. They had met up every day that week, spending their entire winter break together, whether they were doing something fun or just staying in, talking in each other's arms. It was like a dream, the two of them being together. It was a dream Kibum didn't want to wake up from.

Kibum was the one who decided on that day that they should do something different, instead of staying in. Kibum was the one who said they should go hang around the mall before they went out for dinner. Kibum knew it was his fault.

Sure, the two had fun; they always had fun when they were together. They spent the day trying to find the most ridiculous outfits for each other, laughing at each other when they came out to model what they had found. Every so often, Jonghyun would pinch one of Kibum's cheeks with a huge grin on his face, or ruffle his hair with a laugh. He even slapped his once, apologizing profusely afterwards as Kibum rolled around in laughter at his dork of a boyfriend.

Later that night, they were on their way out of the restaraunt Jonghyun had picked out, surprisingly fancy for his tastes, holding hands as they usually did. Kibum's heart was lighter than it had ever been. He had a gorgeous, caring, sensitive, talented boyfriend, and some weird part of him wanted to show him off to the world, even though he knew others wouldn't see their relationship as perfect as he did. He was so, so happy, almost as though nothing could bring him down from that high.

"Kibum?" 

He couldn't have been more wrong. Everything seemed to come crashing down around him as he and Jonghyun stood in front of the last two people he would have wanted to see in that moment: his parents.

"Who is your friend?" Kibum's father asked, face stiff in a forced smile, voice seemingly pleasant even though Kibum knew it was for show. They were in public, his father had to play nice. They were in public, meaning Kibum would get it way, way worse later for emarrassing them.

"H-he's just--just a friend from university," Kibum managed to stutter out. He felt Jonghyun's eyes on him as he tore his hand away, crossing his arms over his chest. Kibum felt small, so small under the three people giving him questioning looks. His parents, out of disgust. Jonghyun, hurt.

"Well," Kibum's mother said with a tight-lipped smile. "Time to say goodbye to your school friend, Kibum. There might still be enough time for you to get some studying in tonight."

Kibum hung his head and started to follow his parents away from Jonghyun, who looked like everything had just been pulled out from under him. "Kibum, wait--"

"Young man, I think you've wasted enough of our Kibum's time here," Kibum's father cut Jonghyun off. "Go home."

The sound of Jonghyun's voice as he tried to stop Kibum from leaving was enough to make his heart clench. Every inchg of him ached to go back to Jonghyun, but he didn't. He couldn't. He couldn't even bear to look at him in that moment, because he didn't want to know what kind of expressio