Falling Out and Falling In
Keep it Hush, HushEdited?
[x] No | [] Yes
It’s hard to find your way when all around you is blanketed in thick darkness; that heavy feeling of the unknown dragging you and weighing you down to the point of exhaustion and depression. This blanket of darkness is scary when it suddenly becomes warm and welcoming, similar to that of your thick comforter on your bed that you never want to leave on a cold winter morning. It’s easy to become distracted by the unknown around you, distracted by the nothingness. But your heart is still pounding in your chest and your ears are still ringing from the quiet that you know there’s still life within you, there’s still a chance to get back on the path of knowing.
I felt similar to this as I got off the plane, got my two heavy suitcases from baggage claim and stepped out to the pickup area of the airport. Everyone around me was rushing about, talking on their phone, laughing with friends or relatives, or crying as one of them said goodbye, or crying as a loved one raced to them, squealing and throwing their arms around one another. I had no one to rush to, no one to call. I was all alone in this thick blanket of nothing. I didn’t know if I was happy to be back in my home country of Korea, or if I was sad that I had to leave to come here. Maybe I had a mix of both feelings and it made my head dizzy and disoriented, or maybe I just didn’t care and failed to feel anything. I internally shrugged my shoulders. It didn’t matter to me. Not anymore anyway.
I walked over to a secluded area of the airport and leaned against the wall, sliding down it until I hit the floor with a slight thump. I might be here for a while, so I figured I might as well get as comfortable as I possibly could. However, after putting in my earphones and turning up the volume on my chosen playlist for the day – hard core metal – my mind decided to be a little witch and rethink my entire life choices. Like all minds like to do when there’s nothing else to think about. I wasn’t in the mood to go down memory lane, because I knew eventually I would get to the part of their murder, and I wasn’t too keen to see it replay itself in my head, so I chose to dig out my phone that was buried in my carry-on and play a couple games until it died.
“Yuri?” I faintly heard a voice call to me. I was too busy playing a game that I didn’t bother to look up at the source of the voice. They were probably calling out to someone else anyway.
After a couple more seconds, someone nudged the edge of my black wedged ankle boots. I angrily looked up; ready to tell that rude person off, when I met the soft face of my grandmother and smirking grandfather. I paused my music and stood up, tossing my iPod and phone back into my purse. “Halmoni, halapoji,” I greeted my grandparents as they smiled at me. A smile I refused to return.
“Yuri, look at you,” my grandma gushed as she took a couple steps towards me and wrapped her arms around me, “You’ve grown so much!”
I cringed at both the volume of her voice, and the skin contact we were making. Her soft black hair tickled my nose and I had the urge to sneeze from her floral scented perfume, but out of courtesy of being my only blood relative left, I pat her back and slowly pulled away.
“Here, let’s get you to the car, I hope you weren’t waiting long for us Yuri,” my grandfather said as he took the handle of both my suitcases. I shook my head in response. I had only been waiting an hour and a half, a lot better than past experiences.
“Nah,” I replied as I followed in step behind them, “Don’t worry, it was only a couple minutes.”
~*~*~
I was thankful for two things. One being that the car ride wasn’t so long which means that I can go to sleep soon and get over my jetlag, and second being that my grandparents are smart and commented nothing on what happened that brought me here. Instead they mindlessly chatted in the front seat about little things. From what I could gather from their face paced conversation, they lived just outside Seoul in a huge house that they had bought together. I already knew that though, and I wasn’t sure why they chose to remind me. I used to visit them twice a year. They have lived in that house since the beginning of time really, and it always boggled my mind as to why they lived there. It was literally the biggest house I had ever seen, with at least five floors in total and taking up a large amount of land. Any celebrity in North America would pay their life’s worth for this castle of a house.
“And Yuri,” my grandma’s voice called, cutting through my thoughts; “I don’t want you to be so alarmed when we get there.”
I raised an eyebrow in question, “And why is that?”
“Well,” she began slowly. Grandma was always one for suspense. “There are twelve young men about your age that we took in living with us as well.” She paused again and looked at me through the rear view mirror. “But I’m sure you’re okay with that.” She smiled at me softly, her brown eyes glowing in happiness.
Grandma and grandpa were always looking out for other people, always wanting to help out and to the upmost that they possibly can. It didn’t surprise me that they would adopt a few kids to fill up that large empty home, but to be quite honest, I wasn’t happy with this at all. This only meant that I would have to live with other people; it was bad enough that I would have to sit through life with my grandparents, but now I have to deal with twelve other people. I wanted my space, I wanted to be alone. Alone to finally begin copping with everything that’s happened, and I couldn’t do that with other people around. It’s not like I have the power to tell my loving grandparents that only had about ten more years on this earth that they had to kick those boys out so I wouldn’t have to deal with them. It’s not like I would ruin their happiness for my own selfish needs. I may be a lot of things, but making others unhappy out of selfishness is something that I just don’t do.
“Yeah, I’m okay with it.”
Grandma turned in her seat and I watched as the corner of her eyes crinkled as her smile grew. “That’s my Yuri,” she chirped, her hand reaching forward to touch my cheek, “I knew you wouldn’t mind, you’re just like your mother; never a care in the world for anything.”
I smiled as convincing a smile as I possibly could; refusing to let either of my grandparents see how those words affected me. Just like I did on the plane, I needed out of this car.
Author's Note;
//waddles around for a little bit
So uh... i got an upvote on the forward and i don't know why...
bUT THANKS ANYWAY OKAY, YOU SUPER AWESOME PERSON OMG.
So here's the first chapter, and all that amazing stuff.... and we'll meet exo in the next chapter.
also, i don't know that much korean words so they may or may not be in there.... i'll have to ask my korean friend how to spell and where to use certain words o u o
Anyway, i hope you enjoyed, and all that wonderful stuff. comment, subscribe, read forty two times and share it was your pet, anything that makes your root beer float, and i'll see you all in the next chapter;
Bye-byeee~~
Comments