AN: Ready for a rollercoaster? I cried writing this. I warned you!

SHINee-Run With Me. Listen to it during this!

The ride was mostly silent. After Taemin had promised Jinki that they would talk later, the two finally emerged from the room to find Jonghyun holding Kibum back and Minho still raging in the living room. Upon seeing the maknae next to the leader, Minho turned his aggression towards him, which launched the entire room into yelling.

Their manager ended up being the one to break them up, taking Minho outside and asking Jonghyun to pack his bag for him while the other four cooled down. Taemin packed up everything he needed. A few weeks ago, the leader had come to him and gave him back the wrapped present that Taemin had shoved in Minho’s hands. He claimed he wanted to earn it back and that Taemin should be the one to give it to him, not Minho.

He grabbed that package now, along with another one hidden away and stuffed it in his bag. If he and Jinki had the heart to heart he knew they were going to have, then he knew it would be the right time to give it to him.

As they all piled into the van, the silence overtook them. Taemin sat next to Jinki in the back, not that he really minded. Somewhere during the ride, Taemin found Jinki’s hand reaching for his and he let him intertwine their hands together. It amazed him how they still fit perfectly. He had almost expected it to be awkward, but it was comfortable. Right. Jinki peered at him with a small smile, and Taemin squeezed his hand back as he went back to looking out the window.

The members gazed at the small one story house they would be staying in for the weekend on the outskirts of Seoul. It was deserted out here, and it was dark now. Their manager let them out of the van and into the house before he drove off, telling them he’d be back on Monday morning to get them and that their issues better be fixed in the time they were here.

Kibum was the first to walk into the house, groaning at the small kitchen and living room. There were three bedrooms, much to the maknae’s relief.

Jonghyun sighed, “Should we just sleep first?”

“We should probably decide room assignments.”

Minho looked at Jinki, “We need to talk and work things out.”

“I have my own issues to work out, thank you. I’m not sharing a room with you,” Jinki snapped.

He remained rooted next to the maknae who looked mildly irritated that Minho wanted to share a room with Jinki. Jonghyun was the one to come up with a solution.

“Who has paper? We’ll do this the fair way."

After they had written their names on paper, folded it and mixed it up on the table.

Jonghyun pointed at Jinki, “Pick a slip. Whoever you pick is your roommate.”

Jinki grabbed a slip off the table, sighing, “Jonghyun.”

Jonghyun nodded at that, pointing at Minho. “Your turn.”

Kibum prayed and hoped that Minho didn’t pick Taemin. He would rather room with the rapper and tolerate him.

“Taemin."

The whole room went silent. Taemin crossed his arms, “Do you really want to share a room with me, Minho?”

Kibum intervened, “Why don’t you just take the spare room and I’ll-”

“Yes. Let’s share a room,” Minho snapped.

Taemin smirked and waved his hand, “Lead the way then, roommate.”

Minho picked up his bag and stomped down the hallway with Taemin following behind. They wouldn’t last a few hours before Minho begged Kibum to switch. After everyone settled their rooms, they met in the living room.

There were barely any electronics, save for a television and some movies. Taemin watched as Jinki hovered near him, his eyes full of anger and irritation. Kibum finally suggested a movie and the five settled in separate spots around the living room to watch.

The first hour of the movie went fine. Jonghyun and Kibum had moved closer to each other and eventually started to cuddle. He hadn’t realized that he himself had moved close to Jinki until their knees brushed and their elbows hit. Jinki tried to apologize silently when Taemin just smiled at him and grabbed his hand.

It was normal for Jinki to wrap his arm around Taemin and pull him close. In fact, he didn’t mind because he got to lay his head on Jinki’s shoulder. Jonghyun smiled from beside them.

Someone across the room however finally got fed up.

“Get the off of him.”

Taemin rolled his eyes, “You aren’t ing dating him, Minho.”

“YOU AREN'T, EITHER!"

“Really? Says who?” Taemin replied in kind.

He immediately felt Jinki grip his wrist tightly.

“M-Minnie…”

The maknae ripped his wrist from Jinki’s grip and stood.

“Come on, roommate, let’s have a talk.”

“Gladly.”

Taemin and Minho went down to the room they were sharing and the rapper threw the door shut. Taemin didn’t feel intimidated but rather confident. He dug through his bag, slipping the packages into his hoodie pocket.

“Well, you wanted to ing talk, Taemin. Talk!”

“I believe you have more of an issue with me then I do with you at the moment.” Taemin finally turned around, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He leveled his gaze at Minho, “So talk. Tell me everything you hate about me.”

“You made Jinki break up with me.”

“In what universe? He did that of his own accord. I can see why, you’re acting like a brat and younger than me!”

Taemin felt a surge of adrenaline rush through him.

Minho got in his face, “Why couldn’t you just go date that fan of yours? Why did you have to make Jinki dump me?”

Now he was angry. He grit his teeth, “You’re treading on waters you don’t want to be on, Minho…”

“Am I? Did you realize that not only would that fan get sick of you, but I’d be able to convince Jinki to date me again? You’ve always been an insecure little brat who hogged Jinki’s love.”

“You’re crossing a line…”

“You crossed a line when Jinki dumped me. If he wants to be single then why the is he curling up next to you?”

Taemin snapped at that moment.

“BECAUSE I GIVE A , MINHO. I ING CARE ABOUT HIM AS A PERSON AND NOT SOME IN BED.” He gripped Minho’s collar and pulled him close, “Not only are you speaking about matters you have no business speaking about, you’re ing up every detail of the story.”

He pulled tighter, “Let me set the record straight. The story goes where yes, Jinki and I were unhappy. But you didn’t even give us a ing chance to fix it. You swooped in the moment you saw a vulnerable point and turned my own boyfriend against me.” He shoved the rapper against the wall, “Then, you- YES, YOU, convince him to break up with me. As if that hadn’t been enough, when I try to leave so I can get my own thoughts straight, you’re ing begging me to come back.”

Minho glared, “Let go of me!”

“LISTEN TO ME, HYUNG. MY STORY IS NOT OVER, DAMMIT.”

When he was sure he had Minho’s attention he cleared his throat.

 “So I come back and what do I meet but my ex and his new boyfriend ing every single night, so loud that noise cancelling headphones can’t block it out! YOU MADE HIM SOUND LIKE HE WAS IN PAIN.”

“HE LOVED IT!”

Taemin ignored him. He was too pissed off to care.

“Then, you had to rub salt in my open wounds by telling, NOT ASKING, but telling me to act normal around you.” He finally let go of Minho, “DO NOT BLAME ALL OF THIS ON ME. YOU HAVE AS MUCH FAULT AS I DO.”

Minho adjusted his collar, “You still made him break up with me.”

“THE HELL I DID!” Taemin clenched his fists. “He made that decision on his own. I did nothing to convince him. Hell, if he wanted to stay with you I wouldn’t have objected.” He looked up at Minho through narrowed eyes, “I asked you to make him happy and you made him ing miserable.”

Taemin left the room after that, slamming the door shut and stomping through the living room. The three eldest watched as the maknae went to the door and shoved his shoes on just as Minho came out.

“We’re not finished, Taemin!”

The maknae snapped his head up and glared. “Of course we’re not finished. THIS WON”T BE FINISHED UNTIL YOU GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL THAT NOT EVERYTHING GOES YOUR WAY.”

“You’re one to talk, Taemin. You took off on us and you left us here. You didn’t stay when got too much.”

The maknae gripped the doorframe. He spied Jonghyun watching him intently, both Jinki and Kibum next to him as well.

He sighed, “If I would have stayed, you wouldn’t have a maknae to take everything out on anymore.”

He left after that, slamming the door shut behind him as he walked outside into the cool night. He walked around to the back yard, surprised to see a small pond built in around the fence. A tiny waterfall filled the pond as he sat down next to it.

It soothed him, allowing his mind to breathe and calm down. He hadn’t intended to snap at Minho like that, but after months of holding it in, he couldn’t handle it anymore.

He wasn’t sure how long he was sitting there until he heard footsteps in the grass behind him.

“Taeminnie?”

The maknae sighed. “I’m not apologizing.”

The leader took a seat next to him, wrapping his arm around his knees.

“W-were you really thinking of killing yourself that night?”

Taemin didn’t look at him. That night brought back so many bed memories, such an ache in his chest. It made him want to cry, to break down and relive those seconds in which he had ached to throw himself over the edge and let the pain disappear. Taemin felt Jinki touching his hand, eventually tugging it out.

“Tae?”

“Yes,” he choked back a sob. “I was so angry with you. I was angry with Minho. I was angry at the world. Two of the people I had trusted with my life and one I had even shared my body and love with had turned their backs on me without so much as a ing hello or goodbye.”

He was tempted to rip his hand from Jinki’s hand, but he didn’t. He let the leader warm his hand, and his side as he moved closer. Jinki didn’t say anything, but Taemin could tell he felt guilty.

Taemin felt a tear drip from his eyes. “Being on my own for two months was something I needed. I realized I had pushed you away, Hyung. I was the spoiled maknae who wasn’t the independent person you needed.”

Jinki wiped it from his face, “I hurt you so much…I don’t know how you can bare to look at me, Taemin.”

Taemin shut his eyes and leaned his head against Jinki’s shoulders.

“I had random fits of crying, of waking up screaming for you when I was gone on that trip.”

He felt Jinki’s hand grip his knee, almost as if offering protection, but he didn’t respond. Instead he told Jinki…everything.

“I hated that I pushed you away with my inability to make you happy. I hated that I depended on you for my happiness. I hated how hurt I felt, how betrayed I felt by you. I wanted to be so angry at you, Hyung, so angry. I would scream and thrash in bed at night, begging for someone to stop the pain breaking my heart.”

Jinki rested his head on top of the maknae’s.

Taemin continued, “I hated how even though it felt like I wasn’t there for you, that you weren’t there for me. We had plans. We had wanted a future together. How was I supposed to move on after that? You had such a heavy grip on my heart and taking one step made it ache and nearly rip the bandage I put on it!”

Jinki pulled him into his lap then. Taemin could see tears in the leader’s eyes and spilling down his cheeks.

“Mo-more Taemin, tell me everything.”

Taemin gripped the leader’s shirt, wiping at his own eyes until he found he didn’t want to bother with it anymore. His eyes were red and they hurt, but he couldn’t care. He cared about laying everything out to Jinki, right here and letting fate choose for them whether they should be together.

“It wasn’t until I made it to Busan, the day after that skype call that I figured out a way I could try to let you go. I wrote everything in a journal, wrote letters to you and placed them in a balloon and let it fly over the ocean. I tossed that journal into the water hoping it would seal away my heart for good. I prayed that you would be happy with the choice you made. I prayed I would have the self-confidence to realize that I wasn’t good enough for you then, but could be in the future.”

He felt Jinki hugging him tightly and he knew this is what he had wanted all along.

“I wanted closure. I contacted Jonghyun every day of that trip, making sure he knew where I was and that I was safe. He told me I wouldn’t get the closure I needed. He told me to meet people and I did.”

Jinki grit his teeth, “I don’t suppose I should be surprised at that.”

Taemin nudged his arm and settled further into his arms, laying his head on his collarbone.

“Daehyun, though…he was different. He didn’t treat me differently because I’m an idol. He let me complain, cry and vent about everything I was going through.”

“And the negative thoughts? Had they disappeared?” Jinki asked quietly.

“At first, no. Coming back was so nerve wracking, but I did because I couldn’t bear the thought of making things worse. I hated myself for causing all this trouble.” Taemin blinked, letting more tears fall from his eyes. “Hearing you and Minho every night gave me nightmares. Hearing you disagree with the fact that I was trying to move on pissed me off.”

“Why didn’t you?”

Taemin chuckled, “Because I’m in love with you. I can’t, Jinki. I can’t ing let you go no matter how much I want to and I hate you for it.”

Jinki didn’t let him go, even though he was full on crying now.

“And this fan?”

“Is dating the other boy I met on my trip. Without telling me,” Taemin said quietly.

What happened next, should have surprised him, but it didn’t. In fact it was welcomed. Jinki nudged his chin up and kissed him hard, pulling his side closer into his chest and lap so he could finally wrap his arms around the maknae. Taemin sighed in relief and let the tears fall down his pearly white skin, landing on Jinki’s hands and mixing with his tears.

Taemin shut his eyes as Jinki’s lips massaged his, the familiar spark driving his veins insane as he struggled to hold on. Jinki’s lips were so bruising, so warm against his own. It felt like home to him after all this time. Jinki pulled away first, holding Taemin tightly despite his own body shaking with sobs.

“I-I-I wi-will never…make up for what I did to hurt you.”

“Jinki-ah…”

“It was the worst decision of my life not to work things out with you.” He looked Taemin in the eyes, brushing away the tears from his eyelashes. “I can’t-I can’t do it anymore. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you, but I need you. I need to hold you and love you and kiss you any time I want. I want you to cry and open up to me and I want you to remain independent like you have been. You’re matured so much and I love you more for it.”

“J-Jinki-ah…Jinki-ah!” Taemin hugged him tightly, keeping his sobs buried into the leader’s neck.

Jinki sobbed as well, “Pl-please, come back. Give me another chance. I’ll wait forever for you if it means I get to love you the right way.”

Taemin sniffled and sobbed, trying to get ahold of himself. He pulled away for a moment and took out the packages, handing them to the leader.

“Open it.”

Jinki rubbed his eyes, “You’re sure?”

“P-please…open it.”

Jinki nodded, setting the box in Taemin’s lap and carefully unwrapping it. The first package was a small thin box, with a black velvet cover. Jinki quietly flipped it open, gazing at the small silver key in side. It was intricately designed with hearts, the handle big enough for three fingers to clasp onto.

“A-a key?”

Taemin bit his lip and nudged for him to open the other.

“I didn’t know if I would ever give this one to you, but I think now is the right time.”

Jinki nodded, opening the other box. It was a palm sized silver heart, with a lock in the middle. Jinki looked up at Taemin who continued to silently cry.

“Taemin?”

“Metaphorically speaking, I should say that it’s my heart. I didn’t ever think I’d give my heart to you again, but here I am doing it.” He rested his nose against Jinki’s neck, “It’s always going to be yours, Jinki.”

He saw Jinki clench them tightly before his whispered into his ear, “Do you…”

“Don’t break my heart, Jinki. I can’t take losing you another time.” He clenched the leader’s shirt; “I’ll take another chance with you, if you promise to never lose sight of this night.”

“Never, Taemin. Never again will I let you go.”  

Taemin shut his eyes and smiled. That was what he was hoping for.

AN: I cried. I cried writing this. Think it’s over? NOPE. Drama coming!!!