Jiyeon

Listen to this song as you read <3 CLICK!

"It's done. It's over. I can't believe I can't stop thinking about him!" I shook my head and slapped my cheeks while lying down my bed. I turned to Mika who was talking to someone over the phone. "Good for you. You have a lot of callers. Ya, can't you even hear me?" I sighed. "I feel so alone."

 

1 text message received.

 

"Who's this? Oh my God."

 

Flashback.

 

"Here's Yoo Seungho's number. Lee Minho finally gave it." Yuri winked. "I know it you're gonna text him, right?"

 

"No. I don't need it." I crossed my arms. "Did Minho oppa tell Seungho I like him? How could he be so mean to me? I thought we're friends."

 

"Stop denying it. I know you can't control that feels," she said then typed something on her phone. It was Lee Minho again.

 

"Ya, I think Lee Minho likes you. At least you're not in the status like mine: forever ignored."

 

"He likes Yoona. It doesn't matter to me, I like him and he knows it." She smiled and showed me the wallpaper on her phone. "Look!" It was Minho and her. "If my mom sees this, I'll just tell her that this guy is a famous actor from Meteor Garden! I'm sure she won’t notice Lee Minho is just an ordinary nursing student."

 

"That looks cute... I should make one for me and Seungho too."

 

"HAHA! You have no originality."

 

"I don't care, I love it!"

 

"Whatever," she handed me her phone. "Hurry and copy Seungho's number."

 

I thought for a second then grabbed her phone. "I'll just display his number."

 

"I don't believe you," she teased.

 

1 message received from Seungho oppa <3

 

". Yuri I'm gonna kill you." I covered my mouth with my hand, trying my best not to shout. I opened the message and read it.

 

Jiyeon-ah? Hey, it's your Seungho oppa. ^_^

 

" ! I hate you! Why are you texting me like that huh?! Did the girl you secretly love reject you?!" I said, and then squealed. "I love you!"

 

I quickly replied, 'Oppa, stop tempting me to texxxxt you! Please don't!'

 

"Wait, that's too obvious." I thought. "But that's exactly how I feel."

 

I sent it.

 

After 10 minutes.

 

"I shouldn't have replied. He didn't even reply."

 

My phone vibrated.

 

"I hate you. Why did it take you so long to reply? I hate you!" I pouted and read his message.

 

Jiyeon-ah? Ya. If you don't reply, I'll take back the grade I gave you for your return demonstration ^_^

 

"What? I didn't reply?" I scrolled up to see my reply. It failed to send. "Oh my Gosh! Thank goodness!"

 

I typed again, 'Oppa! I replied!' and clicked send.

 

Crush ... at his first TEXT.

 

We texted all night. We talked about nursing and how he survived all throughout. He told me about him leaving soon after he graduates to proceed medicine. He said that we should study together sometimes, that it'd be fun to study with someone like me. He even called me cute. He gave me some advises about nursing, I felt so much like a kid. He's 20 years old and I'm 18 but I feel 12 when I'm talking to him. Whatever, I couldn't believe that finally, my crush and I are texting. I wished our love could progress differently in a romantic way like in movies but this is reality. Reality isn't always romantic, sometimes it's boring. Dreaming about him is so much better than these simple text messages that make my heart flutter. These days, teenagers are so high-tech. Even children. I want something like in Korean dramas-

 

"In my dreams." I sighed. "I need to stop replying to him. If I continue this, I will really experience being sister zoned." I thought while biting my lip.

 

Me: Oppa, I need to sleep now. You should go to sleep too! Dream of her but better me than her! (Jk)

 

Him: Aww so persistent. Hahahaha. Okay. See you in dream land baby girl!

 

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHA!" I shrilled. "Wait what- Baby girl?" I shook my head. "Is this Joon?"

 

I slept better than yesterday. Unlike yesterday, I couldn't really sleep well because I couldn't accept the fact that I can never have any communication with Seungho oppa or at least become close friends with him. Before I slept, I took one sticky note and wrote on it the first text I received from him on February 17 at 11:46 PM. "Mika, we should have a freedom wall too." I suggested.

 

"I was thinking of the same thing," she replied.
"Great! Let's make one soon!" I said happily. "Well, let's go to sleep now! Goodnight, sweet dreams!"
"Neh, goodnight, Jiji!"

 

The following day, the first person to come up on my mind is of course...him. We went to school in a really gooood mood. I also denied to Yuri that spent the night texting with Seungho last night. She won't even tell me how he got my number. She probably said something crazy. I can't believe this; Seungho maybe knows that I have feelings for him!

 

This can't be.

 

But this is reality. We always have that one friend who will be the reason that your crush finds out that you like them.

 

"I asked Seungho oppa about you and he said, 'Ahh Park Jiyeon? She was my student in the return demonstration'. Isn't it amazing?" Yuri said.

 

"Student zoned." I sighed. "I wished he said 'Ah Park Jiyeon? She's my crush.'"

 

Yuri laughed, "In your dreams!"

 

Well, there's nothing wrong with dreaming the impossible right?

 

Afterwards, someone tapped my head. I looked back to see who it was and it was him. He smiled.

 

"Oppa!" I exclaimed. Everything...was...in...Slow...motion...

 

I see him smile...

 

His eyes smiling too...

 

Hey... the words that came out of his mouth...

 

Slowly...

 

Closer...

 

Faster...

 

He leaves.

 

I stared at him...

 

He walks away...

 

He's drifting apart...

 

He turns back a little bit...

 

Just like what he did last February 5.

 

He's gone...

 

I jumped and yelped, "Oh my God! HE TOUCHED MY HEAD!!!!!!!!" My friends laughed at my childish action but I didn't care. "He really touched my head, Oh my gosh! Did you just see that? Please butterflies in my stomach go away!"

 

At night, we also met each other again. He ate dinner with his friends in the eatery where I also stay since the dormitory is just upstairs. That was probably the night that he found out I stay in that dormitory with Mika. Yuri was also with me, and she didn't feel comfortable since Minho was around though they're close when on phone.

 

"Hurry, I'll open the gate," Yuri said as I hand her the keys. She had to go upstairs to get her phone since she left it there. We hurried upstairs but forgot the keys downstairs. Mika even teased us that Yuri purposely left it there so she could take one last look at Minho. We just laughed out loud since it seems legit.

 

Baby girl, did you eat already?

 

Yep, another text message received from him. He called me baby girl again. We talked for a while as usual until I came up with the question of why he's calling me baby girl. I had to accept the fact that I act and look like a baby. And he's comfortable with that. Which means he just put me in the kind of zone that he can only treat me as a baby, or a younger sister, nothing more than that.

 

Me: Baby zoned <<<

 

Him: Why? Don't you like being called like that? :(

 

"Of course I like it so much. You just remind me of Joon and that shouldn't matter." I thought. "But I'm not telling you that, oppa."

 

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAA. I replied.

 

Him: Ya? Why are you laughing?

 

Me: Well... I'm a happy person. Lol. Go on with your duty, oppa. Enjoy!

 

Him: Okay then hahaha. I'll text you later baby girl.

 

I sighed. "Every little things he does is crazy. I wonder why would he text me later?" I asked Mika.

 

"If he really text you after his duty, then it means he's interested in you." Mika said.

 

"Or he's taking advantage of me, because Minho told him that I like him?"

 

"Minho told him?"

 

"They're friends. It's impossible that he won't tell. Yuri told Minho. She should've let me said it myself."

 

"What are you doing here?" I asked Seungho oppa.

 

"I just came to see you," he smiled.

 

"Why?" I asked. He held my precious hand and I let him do that because I loved the feeling of his touch. "Oppa, where are we going?" Just continue holding my hand, please. Just pretend that you're not getting butterflies because of his touch please. "Oppa?"

 

He tilted his head and smiled. "Why are you smiling?" I asked.

 

"How was your return demonstration?" He let go of my hand and we just talked while facing each other. I had no idea where we are but I'm sure I've been here before. "I was not around because I had a duty in the hospital."

 

"Why do you care?" I made a face.

 

"I'm your older brother."

 

I laughed, "Oh right. Just kidding, oppa. Uh, well, it was really good."

 

"Really?"

 

"Yeah, I'm better if you're not the teacher."

 

He smiled, "Will you go to my birthday party?"

 

"What birthday party? Is it your debut?" I joked. "Is it February 10 today?"

 

"I just want you to be there."

 

"Why?" I asked.

 

"Just because."

 

"Why? Answer me." Then I looked down, there I noticed his fingers. "Oh my God, what happened to your fingers? Why the do you have one two three four five six seven fingers?" I gasped.

 

He hid his hands, embarrassed.

 

"I mean," I looked at him, afraid that I just humiliated him. "Sorry! Its okay, I have seven fingers too! We all have seven fingers, its normal! Look, I have seven fingers too!" I showed him my hand. "Oh. Look. I have five fingers." Now, I'm really scared.

 

"Ahh," he looked down and walked away.

 

"Ya, oppa! Where are you going?"

 

Someone's heavy hand was on my shoulder. I turned around to see who it was and I almost had a heart attack. It was a giant mascot, super-duper scary mascot with that old cop look and creepy smile. "Ahh- SEUNGHO oppa!" I ran to Seungho oppa and...

 

I woke up because of my phone, vibrating. I took all my morning stars before holding my phone and...

 

1 message received from Seungho oppa <3

Baby girl?  10:47 PM  February 18.

Duty's done, oppa? I replied.

Yeah. We're done, baby girl. Why are you still awake? He replied.

 

I stared at his text for awhile and I ask myself what's my reason for being awake late at night? Isn't it always because of him?

If you keep calling me like that and text me this late, I might get too attached to you... I might feel either rejected or used or might fall in love with you more. Can't you just stop? And if you stop, will I be able to accept the fact that it's just a crush and you will never feel the same way with me?

February 18. Jiyeon. Sticky note # 2.