Why Bother?

“What I really liked about the whole book is the way Salinger used symbols, his motifs and the theme of the book because it is so relevant. Do you think we should add that in our book report?” Seung Hyun asked Tiffany.

They were both seated next to each other at Seung Hyun and Jiyong’s usual table in the cafeteria holding their respective books with a laptop in front of Tiffany.

“That’s a great idea. I think Mr. Lee would really like that. Let’s see…” Tiffany skimmed the pages of the book unaware of Seung Hyun’s eyes intently glued on her face…oblivious of the small smile on his lips as he watched her slightly purse her lips and furrow her brows as she flipped the pages.

“Salinger depicted Holden as a very unusual protagonist because we could see that he resisted the process of maturity. Like how he wanted everything to be easily understandable and eternally fixed. You could clearly see that he is somewhat scared because he’s guilty of the sins he criticizes in others and because he can’t understand everything around him. But he refuses to admit this fear and we could see that in a few instances like…” She was so immersed in the book that she didn’t notice Jiyong and Taeyeon walking towards their table. But like her, Seung Hyun was also busy looking at Tiffany and didn’t notice the two approached the table with their respective lunch. They were both stuck in their happy bubble.

“In chapter nine he said ‘ is something I just don’t understand. I swear to God I don’t’…”

“Wow. How quickly that progressed. You guys are talking about now.” Jiyong plopped himself across Seung Hyun as he eagerly opened his burger. Tiffany looked at Jiyong and immediately blushed, belatedly realizing what she just said. Taeyeon sat next to Jiyong and picked up her yogurt with an eyebrow raised at Tiffany.

“We were talking about the book.” Tiffany mumbled.

There was an infinite silence on the table. Jiyong was looking at Seung Hyun with a knowing smirk, Taeyeon at her best friend and the two recipients couldn’t utter a word or two.

“With the hours you guys spent in discussing and making this book report…it makes me wonder…how in the world you’re still not done with it yet. The whole class is already done with that book report days ago…” Taeyeon’s sarcasm was so obvious that Tiffany wanted to shrink and shrivel in her spot.

“It’s either two things…one, they both don’t understand the book or two, they don’t want to finish the book because they won’t have an excuse to see each other.” Jiyong couldn’t be any blunter but his stoic facial expression changed after a few seconds. They hear a thud under the table and Jiyong grunts and almost choked on his burger looking at Seung Hyun with a pained accusing expression. Seung Hyun just looked at him without the least bit of remorse, his jaw clenching and his eyes looking at him challengingly. Jiyong scowls and then he goes back to eating his food in defeat.

“I’m amazed that you guys still have the time to spend on that book report when we should all be focused on the finals.” Taeyeon cleared to break the tension that grew between Jiyong and Seung Hyun.

It’s been a week since Tiffany and Seung Hyun’s meeting at the studio. And everything kind of went automatic as the four sat on the same table during lunch because of the book report.

Taeyeon and Jiyong didn’t really dwell on the book report. They just assigned their respective parts and collated the report and were don’t with it like the rest of the class did. The two were still awkward with each other but they both tolerated spending time together in the cafeteria just because of their two best friends…and each day that week, they sat next to each other, unwilling stuck to each other just because both their best friends wanted to discuss each chapter of J.D. Salinger’s book as if it was a matter of national importance.

“Oh my. Finals.” Tiffany groaned, immediately dreading the upcoming finals.

“I know right!? What I’d give to just skip finals and get on with the grad ball and graduation.” Taeyeon sighed, consoling her best friend.

“Let’s go to my place after school and watch TVD’s season finale again so we can get on with studying. I still can’t get over the fact about what happened to Damon. They’d better bring Damon back or I won’t watch that show ever again.” Taeyeon ranted.

“But Damon’s words to Elena…oh it’s really painful and yet sweet at the same time…” Tiffany responded, completely forgetting the fact that there were two guys sitting with them. Taeyeon reached for Tiffany’s hands and they both said Damon’s line in unison.

“You are by far the greatest thing that has happened. ... The fact that I got to die knowing I was loved... is the epitome of a fulfilled life. ... It is never going to get better than this. I peaked.”

And both girls let out a suppressed squeal.

“Oh. I will never get over Damon. I should’ve been done with him ages ago but I just can’t get over him. I just don’t know how to get over my feelings for Damon.” Taeyeon gushed.

“Feelings for a character in a dumb TV show. Some dude you’ve never seen before and probably won’t ever see. Wow.” Jiyong mocked. Taeyeon glared at Jiyong. Nobody ever mocks Damon Salvatore in front of Taeyeon and gets away with it. And with a snap of a finger, Taeyeon’s suppressed animosity towards the weird and quirky guy sitting beside her all went lose.

“You can mock all you want. You’ll never be on his level. You can only dream but you’ll never be as tall as he is either.” Taeyeon retorted making Seung Hyun chuckle. If it’s one thing that Jiyong irks the most, it’s his height or lack thereof. Jiyong clenched his fist and chuckled evilly.

“Oh yeah? Kind of like your chance in snagging that half vampire in real life?”

“You did not just call Damon a half vampire!!!” 

Tiffany and Seung Hyun amused themselves watching Jiyong and Taeyeon spew insults at each other. It felt like the two just exploded with all the control they had been holding on to for the past week so they wouldn’t step on each other’s toes thus, the awkwardness. Now they were facing each other, spitting insults, uncaring about the attention they were getting in the cafeteria.

“I think we better leave them here and get to class.” Seung Hyun whispered unto Tiffany. He felt his heart stopped beating as Tiffany looked at him with twinkling eyes as she nodded in agreement.

*****

They were walking in the hallway by each other’s side as they head to class.

“Uhm…Seung Hyun…” Tiffany looked at him and stopped right in front of their classroom. He stood in front of her and Tiffany caught her breath as her eyes held his.

Never in her life had she imagine that she’d have the courage to look into his eyes without any restraints or inhibitions. She’s been holding on to each opportunity of spending time with him, and she’s been trying to shove the blatant reminder of their numbered days as graduation is nearing.

She wanted to make the excuse of prolonging their book report as long as possible so she could spend time with him. Because if not for the book report, what reason would she have to spend time with him? They’re not exactly close friends that they can just automatically spend time together during breaks and after school. And as cruel as it is, it’s also too late to get to know each other…what good would it bring? He’s going away.

“Should we push through with what we talked about earlier? And have you finished with your report about me? I’m done with mine…we can just collate everything…” Tiffany asked. Feeling a little deflated about concluding their book report.

Seung Hyun scratched his head and looked at her shyly. He cleared his throat, struggling a little to form his words.

“Yeah…about that…” Seung Hyun looked over her shoulder and saw Taeyeon and Jiyong walking at the end of the hallway, headed their way.

“I was wondering if it’s okay with you not to read each other’s report…and since you’ve been doing the typing for our book report…you can email me the file and I’ll finish it up with the symbolisms in the book. If that’s okay with you.” His voice trailed off.

“Sure.” Tiffany nodded. It’s been a wonderful week spending time with him. Probably the best week she’s ever had the entire senior year. Now it has to end. They both had to focus on studying for the finals and she’s not even sure if they’re still on for the grad-ball.

“I promise not to read your report about me. Scout’s honor.” Seung Hyun raised his right hand, making Tiffany smile.

“Well it’s been fun doing the book report with you. I don’t think I’ve ever invested as much time and energy into a project before. I guess Salinger really got to me. Now, I kind of have this urge to make my own adventures in New York.” Tiffany said softly, her eyes still on his face, studying every line,