What's up why did you hang up on me?

...

Baby answer the phone. PLEASE.

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Don't you know how worried I was? I need to hear your voice. So please, please answer your phone!

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Baby I'm losing my mind. Why are you being like this?

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Why are you ignoring me? Don't be like this, please..

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How long are you planning to ignore me?!

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FINE! JUST IGNORE ME I DON'T CARE ANYMORE. DO WHAT YOU WANT!

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But make sure that you eat..
And take better care of yourself. Please. 

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Baby I'm sorry for being a jerk. 

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Baby I love you..

...

...

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Ji, I need some space. Please stop calling. 

...

...

...

I sat on my bed and read her message again and again.

Stop calling. 
Need some space. 

What the hell does this mean? 

Is she..

Breaking up with me? 

Crack. 

...

"You're drinking quite a lot." Seungri commented from somewhere in the room. 
I'm sitting on the floor, by the bed, surrounded by bottles of beer, packs of cigarrettes and an ashtray. "You're welcome to join me."
"I don't think drinking will help things. Why don't you try calling her?"
"What a great advice-- Do you think I didn't try? She turned her phone off!" 
"Well.. I guess she really need some space."
"Yeah.. I guessed as much. From her freaking text message!" I said sarcastically. 
Seungri sat down beside me and patted me on the back. "Man, you gotta relax and give her the space she asked for. It's probably just one of those mood swings that girls have sometimes."
"Mood swing?! She freaking broke up with me!" 
"Didn't she  say she just need some space?"
"She TEXTED it. And she told me to stop calling her. Like I'm such a bother!"
"I'm pretty sure you're just overthinking things."
"Yeah? Then what else could she possibly mean by her damn text?"
"Like.. She need space. And you should give her space by not calling. That's it. She didn't say she's breaking up."
"Yeah whatever." 
"I swear you have mood swings like a girl sometimes." 
"Shut up and drink your beer." I snapped at him. 
But maybe he's right.
Maybe I am just overthinking..

A week later..
 
I'm still forever ignored. 
But I keep telling myself, it doesn't matter. I don't care.
If she wanna keep on doing this - FINE. 
If that text really meant she wanna break up - FINE. 
If she doesn't wanna talk - FINE. I don't wanna talk either. 
She wanna be alone? I'll leave her alone. 
I'm gonna pretend that she doesn't exist, it's obvious she's doing the same thing to me. 
So I stopped calling and I stopped sending her messages. 
I'm not even thinking about her anymore.
I'm not gonna think about her.
I'm not thinking about her. 
I'm not.

And another week passed. 
"YG just called.. He says to stop all activities here and go back." Their manager announced out of nowhere. 
The members were happy, we're finally going home.
Me? I don't know how I feel. 
I don't really care. It doesn't matter to me. 

I'm drunk, but I know, this has happened before, me on the floor with the bottles of beer and the packs of cigarettes. And Seungri getting drunk with me. 
"I assume we're getting drunk tonight to celebrate our coming home?"
I shrugged. "It doesn't matter to me." I said and kept on drinking. 'I don't care' and 'it doesn't matter' has become a mantra this past two weeks.
"When we get back, you can patch things up, with her. It's definitely something to celebrate." He said with his irritatingly cheerful voice. 
I've told him before, not to bring up this subject -her- again. I gave him a look that says, shut up. 
Ofcourse he ignores it. "You know, this 'not talking about it' thing won't help at all. Just like the 'getting drunk all the time' thing."
"And yet here you are, getting drunk with me."
"But ofcourse. As your bestfriend I'm always ready to offer you my support and counsel." 
 "Well then, I refuse, go ahead and offer it to someone else." 
"The offer is exclusive to you, my friend. What do you plan to do when we get back?"
"Work."
"I mean what are you gonna do about your girl?"
"Nothing."
"Ofcourse. Doing nothing will resolve things for sure. Pure genius."
This guy just won't stop. "Maybe I don't want things resolved and I just wanna forget."
"Forget huh? Then maybe you should erase her pictures on your phone-- but no, what would you look at everynight?" 
The bastard. "Shut up."
Seungri just laughed. But then he said with a serious face. "Stop trying to fool yourself, acting like you don't care or that it doesn't matter. We both know that you still care about her."
"I don't--"
"But ofcourse-- feel free to deny it all you want." 
Sometimes, I wanna punch Seungri in the face. 
Maybe I should just do it, it might make me feel better. 
Honestly, I feel like crap. 
But I refuse to deal with this feelings. 
Because it doesn't matter. 
I don't care.