"Get me out of here." 
I told Jjangmae using the bossiest tone I can manage. 

Not bossy enough apparently. 

Jjangmae is unaffected. 
He flipped on to the next page of the magazine that he's reading. 

"Jjangmae!" I whined. 
"Just go back to sleep. And stop whining." He says. 
"I'll sleep at home! Get me out of this place!" 
"No." 
"Why the hell not?! What am I even doing here?! I'm not even sick!" 
"Yes you are. The doctor says so." 
"Well the doctor is lying! I'm NOT sick!" 
He rolled his eyes. "You collapsed yesterday." 
"Don't be ridiculous. Why would I do that?!" 

He looked up from the magazine. "You didn't eat. And you didn't drink water as well. And now YG is angry at me cause apparently, I'm not taking care of you." 

Oh. 
Jjangmae looks upset. 
I felt guilty as I looked at him. 
Jjangmae does a good job taking care of me. 
But lately I've no appetite and.. 
Did I really faint? Duh, so so lame.. 

"Jjangmae, I'm sorry. I'll talk to YG about it." 
"You don't need to do that. Just take better care of yourself in the future. I can only do so much. Don't skip meals and take in as much fluids as you can. You've lost some weight lately." 

Jjangmae really is the best. 
But still.. 

"I really don't like hospitals. When can I get out of here?" Back to my whining. 
"Aish. Fine. Stay here, I'll go talk to the doctor about it." 
He got up and handed me a package before he go. 
"What is this?" 
"I bought you a new phone. All your contacts are there.. If you wanna contact them, that is. Jiyong's been.. Well everyone's been really worried about you." He said, giving me a meaningful look before he left. 

I'm gonna pretend I didn't see the look. 

I played around with the phone. 
It's the same model and color as the one I had before so it feels familiar in my hands. 
I checked the contacts and -no I'm not gonna call Ji-  saw Bommie's name so I sent her a text.
She called almost immediately. 

"Hey." 
"Darong?!" 
"Yeah." 
"Oh my god. Are you alright? I heard you fainted--" 
Ugh. "I'm fine. How do you even know about it?" 
"Are you kidding? It's all over the internet!" 
Wait. What?
No ing way. 
"Are you kidding me?!" I was shouting. 
"No pictures if that's what you're worried about." 
"What- why- how can everyone know about this?!" I spluttered. 
"I'm not sure. It was just suddenly trending online, everyone's wishing you to get well soon, check your twitter or something."
Huh. 
So I really fainted? 
Me? 
"And then Kwon kept calling me, he's being stupid. Did something happen between you two? Whatever happened to your phone why's he even calling me?" 
Ugh. Bom and her questions. "Uhm, Jjangmae's here. Lemme call you back." 
"What?! Wait! Are you--" 

I ended the call before she can finish whatever she's saying. 
She'll be pissed for sure. 
More so if she knew I lied about Jjangmae. 
I'm still alone in the room. 

I do feel a little better compared to yesterday--? 
Oh right, Jjangmae says I fainted yesterday -ugh- so that means a whole day have passed by while I'm down on my ?!

I really can't believe I'd do something so ridiculous. 
I fainted!? 
That's just so lame and weak and just plain stupid. 
And what more, everyone knows about it!! 

I was still lamenting over the fact that I fainted - I refuse to think about anything else- when Jjangmae came back into the room. 

"So? What did they say? Can I go?" I asked immediately. 
He rolled his eyes at my demands -he seems to like doing that lately- "Yes." 

Finally. 

I arrived home and my room was still as messy as it was when I left it yesterday morning. 
The broken phone and the broken guitar were still there. 
As broken as I left them. 
Ugh. 
They were really depressing to look at. 
Specially the guitar. 
I have others, but that one was my favorite. 
I grabbed the pillows and the blanket from the bed and brought them out with me.
I camped out in my living room. 

The next day~
Since it seemed like I can't take care of myself properly, YG sent a staff, an ahjumma, to take care of me from now on. 
She'll cook for me and make sure I eat and she'll clean the house too. 
She found the tragic scene inside my room and cleared it up. Thank God.

Surprisingly, sajangnim seemed genuinely concerned about my well-being. 
I'm not sure but maybe the ahjumma reported that I've been breaking things..?  She didn't ask and I didn' bother telling her that I didn't break the guitar and the phone in purpose. 
Sajang called me to say that the shooting for the new album's MVs is cancelled til further notice. 

"Don't show your face at YGE til I tell you to." 

How sweet is that? 
Honestly, he's been such a tyrant lately I've seriously considered punching him on the face a few times. 
These past few months hadn't been fun for me at all. 
I did nothing but hole myself up at YGE to work on the new album. 
Then I'd go out for more work doing promotions. 
And then I'd go home, feeling exhausted and drained, and I'd end up doing some more music because I gotta stay awake til someone calls. 
After a stressful day, it's gotta feel good to hear his voice. 
But most of the time I just end up disappointed, wishing I didn't bother to stay awake. 
All I ever got was more stress. 
So bless sajang for giving me a break. 
He probably thinks I'm depressed or something. 
No I'm not.
Well maybe I am. 
But just a little. 
Whatever. 
I just know I needed a break from work and everything else. 
I haven't had a drink in a long time and that's definitely a top priority. 
But first, I'm gonna catch up on some badly needed sleep. 
Pretty soon, I was happily skipping along dreamland. 
And another day passed by. 

The shrill ringing of the new phone woke me up. 
Ugh. "Stop!" I yelled at it as if it's gonna work. 
I guess I can try throwing it against the wall but that would be wasteful since it's brand new and working. 
But who in the world would call me at this hour?? 
I cracked one eye open to look at the phone- Jjangmae?? 
What in the world..? 
He knows I'm on a break. 
There must be a good reason for him calling me so I answered. "Jjangmae?" 
"Good, you're awake." 
Actually I'm not but I grumbled in answer. 
I snuggled deeper into the bed -yes I'm back in my room- and buried my face on the pillow. Phone against my ear. 
"Listen, I know you need sleep." 
"Thanks. Can I hang up now?" 
"No wait! The thing is that, I need sleep too." 
"Uhm. Okay?" 
"And I can't sleep because.. Jiyong's been calling nonstop." 
"Okay. Can I hang up now?" 
"Are you gonna call him?" 
"No. I'm hanging up." 
"Wait!! Call him within the next five minutes or else I'll---" 
Huh, threatening me at this hour?! 
As if it would work. 
As if.
I ended the call -such a bother- and went back to sleep. 
A few minutes and my phone started ringing again. 
I answered without looking. "Or else what?!" 
Silence. 
I ended the call again. 
Hanging up on everyone's becoming a habit. 

Habits are hard to break.

A few minutes and I was starting to doze off.  
And my phone started ringing again. 
Seriously?! 
Jjangmae can be so annoying sometimes. 
"Jjangmae!" I whined. 
I heard him sigh. "It's me."
I ended the call. AGAIN. 

Habit?!

NO!!

That was JI!