Sesame Street and River Rafts
Block B's Big Road Trip Flop [hiatus]Block B were not accustomed to being woken up by a caffeine-high Yukwon trying to scramble eggs. Jaehyo did most of the cooking in the dorms, which translated into Jaehyo is the only one who doesn't burn down the dorms. Yukwon fancied himself a master chef but in reality the only thing he didn't burn was ramen, but even that was debatable. Yukwon claimed charred was the new flavor.
"Oh dear god we're going to burn to death!" the two year old Taeil squeaked, burrowing himself deeper in his rubber ducky print blanket.
"It was nice knowing you guys." Minhyuk faced the rest. "But I never got to have a girlfriend!" Minhyuk broke out into tears, sobbing into his duvet.
"I never thought it was going to end like this." Kyung said, bracing himself for the loud, grating sound of the fire alarms.
"My kitchen!" Jaehyo wailed, running into the war zone to save his precious RV.
"Are we really going to die?" Jihoon looked up, tears welling up in the corners of his eyes. "I'm not ready to die yet."
"FEAR NOT MY BLOCK B ES!" A loud, all-too familiar voice rung out from the bedroom. "JIHO THE ALMIGHTY LEADER SHALL SAVE THE DAY!" and with a loud crash Jiho ran into the kitchen. Several more slamming sounds echoed from the kitchen, followed by screams of "Not the BB cream!", "I didn't mean for the ceiling fan to catch on fire!" and "I AM THE LEADER! BOW DOWN TO ME!".
After a good fifteen minutes of ruckus out came Jiho and Yukwon, looking scorched, beaten and humiliated. Jiho mumbled something about never being respected and collapsed onto the couch. Yukwon shook his head like a dog, soot flying out.
"So when's breakfast?" Taeil popped up from his little blanket-cave, his hair sticking up at a million and one angles, resembling Jiho's failed afro, one of the leader's many "hep-hap" hairstyles.
"Now!" Jaehyo sung and all of Block B could have sworn that a ring of heavenly light surrounded him as he served up the pancakes.
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"So it says here there is a river-rafting center. It's right off of the Mississippi river." Kyung read carefully, making sure he understood the English correctly.
"Sweet!" Jihoon jumped around in his swim-shorts, making loud hoots that sounded like a combination of a whale and a gorilla being beaten by a baseball bat covered in poison ivy. In other words, he was very loud and excited.
"I turn right, yeah?" Jaehyo asked Kyung, pointing to a sign for a strip club.
"No, you turn right at the nightclub, not the strippers." Kyung sighed, seemingly exasperated. Jaehyo nodded and continued down the country roads until the idiotic bandmates actually made it to the river rafting center.
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"The first rule of tubing is don't leave the tube." a lady with the thickest country accent both sides of the pecos drawled, flicking her hair that must have been twice the size of a normal watermelon.
"Got it!" All seven derps smiled from their inner-tubes. Kyung's "mad English skillz" had paid off. Jihoon then spotted a small yellow fish.
"Fish!" Jihoon roared and dove straight into the river, splashing his bandmates in the process.
"Behind you." the lady with the very thick country accent drawled again, pointing to a rather large and hungry crocodile behind the Jihoon. Jihoon squeaked and jumped about fifteen feet in the air, landing back on his inner-tube. Kyung grinned and winked at the crocodile. Jaehyo whispered something about Kyung being a witch under his breath.
The rest of the inner-tubing trip was as uneventful as it could be for Block B until they hit the rapids. For any normal, coordinated group of human beings the rapids would be fine. Unfortunately Block B was anything but. Jiho fell in first, followed by Yukwon and Minhyuk. Jaehyo tumbled in headfirst trying to rescue Minhyuk, while Jihoon dove in for fun. Taeil squeaked and face planted into the water. Kyung burst out into maniacal laughter and fell in in another laughing fit.
Needless to say, all seven where kicked out afterwards.
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"Won't you tell me how to get, how to get to SESAME STREET!" An unnaturally low voice sang along to Sesame Street's theme song happily. Kyung and Minhyuk joined in, chorusing along off-tune. Taeil happily hummed the song while Jiho played out the tune on his kazoo.
"You're kidding me. You guys are actually watching sesame street?!" Jaehyo yelled incredulously from the kitchen.
"Be quiet! Grover is on!" Jihoon yelled back. Jihoon had always had some weird love for Grover, once claiming that the muppet was his spirit animal.
"It helps us learn English!" Jiho yelled at Jaehyo, who was now stuck to the Sesame Street theme song.
"We don't complain when you watch Desperate Housewives!" Kyung yelled.
"Yes you do!" Jaehyo yelled back "If you want dinner then don't back talk to me!" Jaehyo was answered by a chorus of "Yes m'am"s. Life was normal.
Author's note
BLOCK B IS BACK, YO! Jackpot is super catchy. Kyung is blonde (and in a skirt) with a super short part and Taeil was practically invisible but I loved the video nonetheless. My theory is Block B are crazed stylists who need a new victim model and have to abduct one.
In other news, a south Korean ferry with 300 students sunk. My heart goes out to the family of the missing/dead and the students.
Sorry that this chapter was late, I was run-down and tired. Bad news: there won't be an update next weekend, I'm camping in west Texas (with a bunch of guys, whoop whoop). But I also have a new crack drabble up (Why Dok2 Always Wears Hats).
Anyways, my two questions of the day for y'all is: What was your favorite block b comeback? Did you ever watch Sesame Street or do you still watch it? Tell me in the comments (or comment about this chapter). Your comments make my day.
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