Prologue
Feigned Ego
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Baekhyun woke up with a jolt, nearly jamming his head against the upper deck of his bed. His eyes squinted at the windows, upon the blinding light that sifted through the pale blue curtains. He was feeling oddly apprehensive. Anxious. He tried to remember what it was about the day that was causing him unnecessary tension.
That can't be true, he thought. Yes. What he had witnessed the previous night—it was all a figment of his imagination.
None of that was true. Painstakingly he convinced himself. None of it was true. For if it were, he couldn't start to imagine how anyone could contend with so much pressure and affliction from within and yet remain pleasant on the surface.
No. He shook his head, blinking numerous times. His eyes had not adjusted to the illumination just yet. Glancing at his watch, he noted how he was certain to gather his tenth-ish tardy slip from the student council just for the quarter. Two more and he'd be up against a two-day suspension.
Perhaps he could still make it in time, if only he moved faster. But he was in no mood to hasten. His thoughts were—and had been since last night—brooding over the unlikely scenario.
No! He chided himself. It can't be. It just can't.
But deep inside he believed, as he brushed past pupils on his way to his classroom, how very true it was, it must have been. It would make perfect sense. Everything about her. It made sense.
Still, he was hoping, as though he had never hoped for so much in his life, that it wasn't real.
Two ladies manning the classroom adjacent to his waved and winked at him as he sauntered by. He managed a twisted smile, one that might have looked flirtatious from anyone's perspective—except, he wasn't being flirtatious. He hadn't been for months now. Or rather, he had ceased to make himself seem coquettish to every human female.
She must stop seeing me as the biggest flirt.
Baekhyun frowned at his thoughts. Where did that come from? Why should it even matter how she regarded him? It wasn't like she was mindful of him. It wasn't like he was mindful of her, either.
Okay, maybe a little. But only because she had always been Little Miss Perfect that Baekhyun, as result, had always been on the lookout to detect her blemishes. Blemishes that, he realized, he never caught because she had intended for them to be kept underneath. Blemishes that were actually the cradle of who she truly was. And what of all her perfection? Lies.
No, it wasn't quite that. Façades for self defense. Yes, that was it all along. Masks to protect herself from the inevitable suffering she would undergo if she ever attempted to be herself.
Baekhyun's chest suddenly went tight. And then it went from tight to choking as he took in the new addition to his class, the second class.
Jin Aya.
What the heck was she doing sitting in one of the hind seats in his classroom? He was in the right classroom, wasn't he? He scanned the rest of the population just to make sure. When his eyes landed on hers, he was met with aversion. Aya's fists were suddenly clasped over the edges of her seat, her lips pressed together and her glower directed towards the window to her left.
"She must have failed her quarter exams."
"There is no doubt."
"All those years of hard work."
"I wonder if she's actually smart or really just trying hard."
"She must feel awful."
"How did her boyfriend handle this, I wonder..."
"I heard they broke up."
The buzz of nasty conversation was making Baekhyun dizzy. Didn't they know she could hear them?
"Hey, Baek, still up for later?"
He didn't reply. He almost couldn't recall what he had agreed to go to that afternoon.
"Yo," the voice hollered again. Baekhyun turned to scowl at his classmate. Ah, the double date. He remembered now. The lame attempt of his friends at getting him to date would have been a source of laughter on any day.
Not today.
"I'll pass," he muttered, holding his palm up to silence his friend who was clearly going to retaliate.
In truth, Baekhyun was no such flirt. He was innately sly and sweet. He had the
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