XOXO; 04

Yifan lay on his bed, staring blankly on the ceiling as he thought back what had just happened at evening. Joonmyeon’s confession just hit him hard.

“Is that why you always sick? Is that why you always look pale? Is that the reason why you push me away?” It was the questions been playing around his head.

“Does that mean that you love me too?”

…

Yifan thought he should just listen to Joonmyeon that he should stop but he can’t. Every single moment without Joonmyeon killed him inside. He missed the latter so much. He worried about the latter too. He just loved Joonmyeon.

And there Yifan was, across Joonmyeon’s house, inside a car, wanting for Joonmyeon to out. It had been at least half an hour as he waited and just then, he eyes caught something in radar.

Joonmyeon walked out from the gate of his house, walking so slowly that he almost fell on the ground but Mr. Lim was right behind him was fast enough to hold on him.

Yifan almost ran toward Joonmyeon when he saw Joonmyeon looked so weak, almost. A tear escaped from his one eye as he watched Joonmyeon. “Joon,” he uttered the name.

…

They hardly met. No, they choose not to meet. Joonmyeon avoided Yifan of any cost. It hurt his heart. It hurt his head but he kept on holding the dragon key chain that Yifan gave. He felt a little better with it. “Yifan,” he mumbled as he drifted into dreamland.

…

“Yi-Yifan?” Joonmyeon spoke out of shock. It had been almost one month he had stop seeing the taller but there Yifan was, right in front of him, the moment he walked out from his house to went for his another appointment.

“You look much paler than I saw you yesterday.” Yifan said as he looked at Joonmyeon. Joonmyeon’s face wasn’t good. It looked so pale. His body was much slimmer than it used to be. Yifan couldn’t help but to feel sad.

“I-I,” Joonmyeon was too shock to even say.

“You know what Joon?” Yifan then began to say, the reason for him to confront Joonmyeon. “I try to back off but,” he then stopped, took a little air to breath and continued said, “It’s already too late. I can’t take my eyes off from you.” He glazed to Joonmyeon in his eyes. “So, please Joon, don’t back off from me too.” He pleaded. “I love you too much.” He was desperate indeed.

“But I’m dying, you can’t b-” Joonmyeon was cut off as Yifan planed a little kissed on his lips. He was stunned.

“There was no rule saying that dying people can’t be with their love, Joon.” Yifan said. He had thought so much and he didn’t want to live in regret. He wanted to be with Joonmyeon. Joonmyeon was his life. He wanted to protect the little guy.

Joonmyeon really didn’t know what he should do. Yifan had broken his own rule that he had made.

“Joon,”

Joonmyeon looked at Yifan. He felt so weak. The glaze that Yifan gave so desperately loved that he couldn’t continue with his rule. His heart and his mind betrayed himself. “My heart couldn’t lie that I want to be with you too, Yifan.” He then said. “Even so, I’m scared to be the reason for hurting you.”

“I don’t mind.” He already made his decision and nothing will change it. “I like it that everything that involves me, the reason is you.”

Joonmyeon began to chuckle softly, “You’re crazy.”

To Yifan, seeing Joonmyeon’s happy face was the thing he wished for, always. If Joonmyeon was happy, he would be happy too. “I know,” he smiled.

“I love you, Yifan.”

“I love you too, Joon.” Yifan moved a step closer and planted a kiss on Joonmyeon’s forehead. His heart felt light.

…

Holding hand in hand, Yifan accompanied Joonmyeon to the appointment that Joonmyeon had to attend. “You don’t have to come.” Joonmyeon said as he looked at Yifan who sat beside him as they waited for their turn to be call.

“Don’t be silly.” Yifan flicked Joonmyeon’s forehead. “I’m your boyfriend. I have right to be by your side.”