The rain was pouring down heavily. A familiar figure stood looking up at the dark sky, letting the rain drench him cold. He slowly turned to look at me with a gentle smile. His eyes softened as he reached a hand out to me.

There was a dreaded feeling tugging at my heart, the longing of his touch, the need of knowing he’s real, and as I reached out to him,

I woke up.

White walls came to sight. I sat up with a groan and massaged my temples. I looked around the room – no Yifan in sight. It’s been 3 days straight since I’ve last seen him. I pushed the blankets off of me and walked out of my personal partition to the window across the room. The rain was pouring heavily again. The sky was fierce and gloomy. Lightning grumbled from a distance.

I remember how much Yifan enjoyed the rain as much as I do. We’d sit at the cafeteria together, looking out of the glass walls and enjoying the dark scenery outside in silence. It’d be so cold yet I’d be developed by a warm feeling inside.

Once, he told me how badly he wanted to hold me in his arms when I was shivering. I hated the fact that he said the exact thing I longed for.    

I used to hate how he’s always there, but never physically. I used to hate how I couldn’t talk to him when others are around. I used to hate how people tend to think I was always alone and lonely when actually I enjoyed just being with him. It irritated me how he was not…alive.

But if only I knew beforehand how empty I would feel without his presence, I would’ve appreciated every single moment we shared together.

Yifan, where are you?

Did he…crossover already? Without a single goodbye? He simply left without a word. I guess I was never that important to him.

Suddenly, the emergency bell rang from the partition next to me. Nurses and doctors barged into the ward and rushed to the patient. My stomach twisted in nausea as I saw Minsung unconscious on the bed