Brother and Sister
Project: Cupid!
Project: Cupid!
Chapter 17: Brother and Sister
She could not react.
She did not know how to react. It might not have been her first kiss. Being an actress in numerous romance dramas made her adapt to the notion of kissing. Yoona had always thought that broadcasted kissing was merely business, a mere lip lock. The equation seemed so normal that she had not complained when she got to perform kissing scenes on her dramas.
But she forgot all about the simplistic equation of a kiss when it was Donghae’s lips on hers.
It was a clumsy kiss. He only awkwardly pressed his lips to hers. Too afraid to add more pressure, too reserved to let himself loose. Although rage had taken control of him moments prior, the moment he kissed her, he felt all things subsided. His anger, his composure … all subsided.
But despite the awkwardness, the clumsiness, and the confusion that colored his kiss, Yoona finally understood how breathless a kiss could make her.
He pulled himself slightly away from her. His lips remained close –close enough that he could practically breathe air into . His eyes stared back at her still wide ones. And at the sight of her pretty, dark brown eyes, he thought something was reborn again.
Instinct.
So, once again, he leaned close and closed the gap between their lips.
He dared himself to succumb to his instinct. His lips caressed hers gently, softly. He thought that the kiss would be rather poetic, but no. There was no literal sweetness of her lips, but he admitted that the feel of Yoona’s soft lips was something indescribable. He nibbled on her lower lip and gently nipped at it. There must be something about the way he kissed her that made her suddenly part her lips slightly open, and he took chance of it.
His tongue hesitantly entered and Yoona let him. Her eyes fluttered close and his arm instinctively s behind her back to pull her closer to him. A soft moan escaped her lips. Suddenly, kissing her seemed like breathing to him. A raw passion kicked in and he, she, they were lost in the kiss.
God, he felt… he didn’t know how else to describe it than to say that he felt complete. Like for the first time in the past few days, calmness chased away all his worries. Kissing her, pulling her into a more heated lip lock… they all seemed so right.
He didn’t want to let go.
He didn’t want to stop kissing her. He wanted –needed– to savor her, cherish her, make her his. There was a rare feeling of possessiveness that he had never experienced before, not even with Jessica.
It was only when they heard sounds of footsteps coming from the outside of the dressing room, that both of them retracted in unison.
His heart beat crazily within his body. He did not know what to say. She did not know what to do, and in the end, Yoona only stood rooted to her spot. Her eyes were staring at anything other than Donghae.
“I…” he wanted to begin. But no words came. He gave up searching for words, because his mind couldn’t even properly think at the moment. He took some steps backward, away from her, but that was not told by his brain. His body moved by itself.
The footsteps were coming closer. The door of the dressing room was swung open. It appeared to be Mi Ran and some of the staffs.
“Omo, I thought you guys already left,” commented the script writer.
Yoona was the first to gain back her composure and replied to her senior. “Y-yes. I was about to…”
Being more than a decade older than the other girl, Mi Ran could immediately tell that something was suspicious about the two youths. Momentarily, a frown made it to her face. But she later concluded that she had to respect peoples’ privacy in such time and thus she decided not to intervene. “Donghae, Eunhyuk is waiting for you. I think you’d better go to him.”
“Ah, yes… I’ll be going then,” replied the idol stiffly. He cast one quick glance to the girl he had just kissed and hesitantly spoke, “…See you later, Yoona.”
“Yes… see you later…Oppa.”
Yoona was not even looking at his eyes when she delivered her words. Her eyes were glued to the wall in front of her and she could only catch from the corner of her eyes how Donghae walked away from her, bid farewell to the staffs, and resumed his walk away.
Three days had passed, yet she still couldn’t forget it all.
She couldn’t forget the warmth that emanated from him, the intensity of his gaze, the softness of his lips, the gratifying effect he caused… Goodness, she had never been a prosaic person, but Yoona thought that Donghae would always be an exception in her life.
He did not contact her again afterwards, but she was genuinely grateful for it. She didn’t even know how to erase the thoughts of him when he was not around her, much less when he was around. Being away from each other seemed to be a wise choice.
Their roles in Project: Cupid! would end soon. Yoona knew that it wouldn’t be an end of everything, but she was not certain whether anything would start again between Donghae and her either. The kiss might clarify some things, but the lines –their lines – were still blurred. She was still lost.
He might like her. Her feelings might be reciprocated, but that didn’t make things easy.
Not as long as he still harbored feelings for another girl.
Yoona buried her face on her palm.
“You’re okay?” questioned a high-pitched voice that she knew so well.
Yoona lifted her head up to see that Jessica had just entered their dorm. The blond-haired girl had just returned from a magazine photo shoot and fatigue was still clear on her make-up covered face. But the fatigue on Jessica’s face was erased immediately as a worried look replaced it.
The younger girl gave her Unnie a reassuring smile. “I’m fine. I’m just tired, but you must be too, as well. You’re hungry? You want me to make something for you?”
“You’re not a good cook yourself, and don’t avoid the subject,” Jessica said as she dropped her bag and took the seat at the vacant spot next to Yoona on the couch. “You’re getting worse at it.”
“What? Cooking?”
“No. Masking your emotions.”
“Ah,” she muttered softly. It was a shame. Yoona had always been proud in her ability to mask emotion. Well, things changed.
“…Donghae?”
Yoona flinched at the mention of his name, especially coming from . Her silence provided all the answer that Jessica needed. Exhaling a sigh, the older girl then questioned her again. “What’s pulling you back, Yoona?”
The question was… what was pulling him back. And what was pulling him back was speaking to her at the moment. Yoona didn’t know how to express things out.
But Jessica was sharp. And things had been rather obvious anyway.
“I don’t have any special feelings for him anymore. I will curse you if you’re denying your mutual feelings for my sake.”
Yoona shook her head. “I’m not denying anything… I can’t deny anything anymore. I’m falling more to him, that’s one thing I’m sure of.”
“But you’re denying his feeling to you,” Jessica pointed out. “That’s still a denial, you know.”
The Im girl gave a hollow laugh. “Trust me. He doesn’t feel that way with me.”
Jessica rolled her eyes. “There you go again, with your denial. You really should –“
“He’s madly in love with you, Unnie,” Yoona interrupted the speech. Jessica might have considered it blunt, but as time passed by, Yoona just didn’t have the willpower to hold it any of this longer. Slowly, she continued. “He said it himself. You are his first love. The love that he can never forget. You are –”
“I am in love with someone else, Yoona.”
Jessica’s words startled her. True, the confession might not have entirely been unpredictable, but to see her unnie respond it so firmly, so certainly…
Suddenly Yoona felt horrible. What she had been feeling all along –the feeling of an unrequited love – was something that Donghae had endured for years. Years. He wanted to fix things with Jessica, he loved Jessica, but Jessica could not love him back the way he wanted her to. Donghae’s agony was just like Yoona’s agony, only that his pain was longer, harder.
She knew from the very beginning that she had no right to step into their love story, but at the moment, she felt ashamed of herself. Her heart broke again, not for her own feeling, but for his.
“Why can’t you love him again, Unnie?” Yoona asked softly.
Jessica sighed and closed her eyes. “You cannot choose who you want to fall in love with, Yoona.”
Yoona was startled. And as if it was only spoken the day before, Donghae’s words to her months prior echoed in her head.
“She is… different in my eyes. Never thought that I would actually fall for that type, but in the end…” he chuckled. “You cannot really choose who you want to fall in love with.”
She took a deep breath. The more she understood her own feeling, the more she understood Donghae’s feelings towards Jessica.
His love to her unnie was something irreplaceable. Something precious.
And she would never have any chance to step in.
“Thank you, Unnie. I understand now.”
It was time for her to give up.
Jessica warily eyed her dongsaeng. “You are a frustrating woman, Yoona.”
The younger girl cast a sad smile. “Yes. I am equally as frustrated with myself, Unnie.”
“I kissed her.”
Donghae spoke the fact slowly, at the most unlikely place and time, with probably the most inappropriate person.
“Huh?” Heechul muttered. Donghae and he were having a battle of video games in Super Junior’s dorm and his outburst was not something Heechul would have expected. “Wait, Hae…” he murmured as his mind was still focused on the game. Heechul managed to make his character in the game punched Donghae’s character and the “K.O.” text appeared on the TV screen. “Yes!” Heechul exclaimed happily and he put his analog controller back on the table. “Now, what were you saying?” he questioned as he turned his attention to the younger boy.
Donghae tonelessly repeated his words, “I kissed her. Yoona.”
“Oh,” Heechul shrugged as he carelessly grabbed his controller back. “I thought it was something more urgent.”
Donghae sighed. Probably blurting it out to Heechul was not the wisest choice, but it was already been done. “Hyung, I kissed her,” he stressed out, slightly annoyed with Heechul’s lack of empathy. “I kissed Yoo –“
“So what?” Heechul challenged back. “It’s about time, isn’t it?”
“What? No, Hyung!” His tone rose. “Yoona and I…it’s something that is not supposed to be!”
“Why? Because you’re a coward?”
Donghae was taken a back with Heechul’s words. But knowing Kim Hechul for years, he knew he should have expected it coming from him. “That’s first.”
“And second?”
“I’m afraid I will hurt her,” Donghae sighed. “Yoona is right. It’s not fair for her if I cannot even sort out my feelings. I am still…probably…”
“In love with Jessica?”
Donghae’s palms covered his forehead and he gazed up at the ceiling. “I don’t know. Perhaps. Yes. No. I don’t know…” he groaned. “My history with Jessica, it’s … it’s something I cannot forget. I feel like I will betray my feeling if I move on and –“
“And whoever said you have to forget Jessica?”
“…I don’t know, Hyung. I just don’t know anything anymore.”
Heechul grunted. “You seriously have issues, kid,” he said as he got up from the couch. “I’m off. I’d rather feed Heebum than to hear your insecurity issue.”
The older boy walked away from the living room and headed to his room. His hand dug into the pocket of his trousers to get his cell phone. He was about to make a call to a certain someone, but at that moment, that person’s name appeared on his caller-id.
Snorting at the coincidence, Heechul then answered the phone. “Yah, I was about to call you. What is it with your ex, actually? He’s been seriously disoriented lately and that bugs me.”
The high-pitch voice that belonged to Jung Jessica responded from the other end of the line. “I know! She is equally as frustrating!”
“So? Are you thinking what I’m thinking, Sis?”
“Most probably,” Jessica spoke. “It’s scary how similar our minds work sometimes.”
A smirk made it to Heechul’s lips. “So, is it time for the next HeeSica collaboration?”
“Yes,” Jessica affirmed. “It’s time to execute the real Project Cupid.”
To Be Continued
A/n:
I am so sorry for leaving you hanging, folks. I was out of inspiration. One of the way for me to gain back my inspiration was to learn how to make a fanfic trailer movie. And… yeah, this is a shameless advertisement, and a late project, but if you’re interested, click the link below for the Fanfic Trailer of Project: Cupid!
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