Notes: this is the review from Diamondworld Reviews that I promised (to myself) to post up in the story, regardless of whatever the result is. Forgettheworld is too nice, though, I still can't believe I get this score. Go to Chapter 12 to read the next installment of Project: Cupid!, folks... 

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Project: Cupid! - pinboo

Review by Forgettheworld at Diamondworld Reviews.

Title[5/5]

I like it. I like the short succinctness of it that gives us an impression of what we’re up for. I like how it already sounds like a T.V show. I like the exclamation mark at the end as it makes it sound enthusiastic. Some might argue that this title is slightly bland but I love it.

Appearance[2/5]

To be honest, I think your poster should have kept with the whole reality show theme, for example maybe their heads popping out of a T.V or something. Your poster was too conflicting what with the slightly menacing upper part with them holding ‘guns’ and then the bottom which is cute and fluffy. Then there is the colour theme. The top half is a blue sky/cloud theme whereas the bottom is just pink overload. I think this poster could improve.

Foreword/Description/Prologue[5/5]

I like how you give out the supposed plan. And your last line ‘this was a show with scandals in the making.’ Personally, I don’t like fanfics talking about reality shows as really, that’s what a reality show is for, not writing it. But I can see the interest in this one. I like how you’ve already started building up Yoona’s character here and already given some background information. Good job. =]

Plot[33/40]

You have warned me beforehand that this was a story with little plot. This is slightly the case but it’s never too late to develop one. I can see many, many ways this story could turn out with many possible twists coming. I just hope you don’t choose a clichéd one such as the fans finding out about their relationship, etc. Although, judging from your unique piece of writing I doubt you would’ve chosen this. On the other hand, this story reminds me of those long winded dramas such as ‘Neighbours’ or ‘Friends’ both extremely long dramas, but also with many small plots each season. I advise you not to drag your story out too much as your kind of stories would be better if kept on the short side. (by this I mean about 30-50 chapters) However, I love it. It’s chapter nine and I want more! Donghae and Yoona are such a cute couple and I want action!

A tip for the future: Because right now, as you said, it’s purely romance you definitely need some sort of tragic accident to happen that affects the main characters, make them cry etc. This happens in every successful published work. This is because you empathize with the characters and end up crying yourself in front of a screen. So later on, I would love to see some sadness in it. =]

Writing Style[14/15]

You write beautifully. Honestly, I would never have guessed English wasn’t your first language if you hadn’t told me. You describe everything beautifully and I can imagine everything happening. Your descriptive style is really nice and flow-y. The only thing that wasslightly annoying was how you avoided saying the person’s name. For example ‘Donghae held Yoona as she attempted to swim’ would be something along the lines of ‘the fair skinned man held Yoona…’ Now usually, I like this, it makes a different change to the norm. However, I feel that you overuse this method. I advise you to cut down this kind of writing but still use it, just not as much. =]

Flow[10/10]

At first I wondered if I should give you a 9 since how can someone develop such crushes that quickly. Then I remembered that they knew each other before this (which you explained beautifully) so no complaints whatsoever! I love how the characters are changing already.

Basic Grammar/Spelling[4/5]

Because you first said English wasn’t your first language, I became searching your story just for your grammar mistakes, I really couldn’t be fussed. (SORRY I’M SUCH A BAD REVIEWER!) it’s just that, again, I wouldn’t have really noticed them. I’m just being a mean person and nitpicking everything. But honestly, why ruin a perfectly good story by searching for errors?

These were some I found before I stopped looking:

“…she grinningly said.” I searched this up and although there is nothing technically wrong with it, it’s just awkward phrasing. You could just change this to ‘she said, grinning’. (me being a perfectionist here, ignore me.)

‘For the second episodes,’ Here you are talking a single episode; the second episode. Because of this, ‘episodes’ should not be plural. (i.e. for the second episode) However, if you were talking about the first episode and the second episode, it would be in plural. (i.e. For the two episodes…)

‘Two and a half hour locked inside together, there must be something going on…” Here again. You are now talking about more than one hour so the word ‘hour’ should be in plural. (i.e. two and a half hours locked inside together.) Another thing is that she is talking about the past. ‘There must be something going on’ is talking about the present as if Yoona and Donghae have something going on right now. (of course they do, but in this context, they don’t) So this should be: there must have happened. (I changed the sentence to ‘happened’ as ‘something going on’ didn’t fit anymore.)

‘She actually already knew what was occurring from the re-run’ Again, the tense. She knew what… therefore the entire sentence should be in past tense. Correct version: She actually already knew what had occurred from the re-run.

‘Why did you say we were not an easy project for the…’  The context you wrote it in was not meant to be a question. (this came from when Donghae said he understood why Yoona had said that they were not an easy target) However, here your tense is incorrect (present tense, here) and is also phrased as a question. Correct version: ‘why you said we were not an easy project for the…’

“What is your first impression on Eunhyuk?”Because they have already met, this question should be in past tense. Also, it’s not ‘on’ Eunhyuk but ‘of’ Eunhyuk. Correct version: What was your first impression of Eunhyuk?

“I had crushes; I had guys who could make my stomach churn at the mere sight of him. But I don’t think any of those are love.”

Again, tense. This should all be in past tense unless Yoona still has a crush on them. ‘I had guys’ seems incorrect although, technically not. She can’t have guy unless they were her boyfriend otherwise that would be totally immoral. Improved version: I have had crushed.There were guys who made my stomach churn at the mere sight of him, but I don’t think any of those was love.

Characterisation[25/25]

Your characterization is amazing. Everything Yoona and Donghae felt, I felt them all. At first, I was slightly confused about Yoona’s way of thinking but as the story progressed, I could totally empathize and understand her logic. Even Seohyun was played beautifully what with her small segment on how she was confused about Yonghwa and her ‘marriage’ and love. You portrayed idols extremely well with their masks every time the camera was on them. I could totally understand Seohyun’s logic (since I take drama lessons) and when you’re on screen, you can easily lose yourself to someone else; the person you’re meant to be in front of the camera. Seohyun described it perfectly and her ‘fantasy to reality’ speech was just fantastic. I assume you’re a girl? Cause the only thing that wasn’t perfect was your portrayal of Donghae. LOL. He had his manly urges when he danced with Yoona and even though you portrayed him well, realistically and what not, I still felt something lacking, perhaps some true depth. But really, this wasn’t too much of a problem and you can still build his character since your story is still in the early stages.*

I love the way you portrayed Yoona. She has such a unique personality with her own unique way of thinking. I have never met someone like her but how you described her, I could feel as if this was her actual character. Once again, I must express my amazement at how you described the idol life, the idol way of thinking. Truly genuine. Truthfully, I had always suspected that idols were completely different off screen. Idols are a sort of product, in a way. Most fanfics here, actually, about 99% of fanfics here portray idols as how they would appear on a reality show. Most people forget that they are real people with real feelings. (here I talk about Boyfriend. Really what kind of shameless guy would sing and dance as they had in the MV. If you are a fan, I most sincere apologize! ><”) I’m quite happy to say you are part of the 1% (even though I don’t think I am myself) and I just love how you write about the idol life being tough and all that. =]

*And now, in the latest chapter, there is Donghae’s character being portrayed so…realistically. I can relate to almost every word he’s said in that chapter. It’s amazing how you can draw such an accurate picture of a person with only a few words.

Overall Enjoyment[13/15]

The only points you lost here was the purely romance theme as I usually dislike them. However, here you really captured me. I would love to see what happens next and see what new challenges are in store for them.

I reviewed this story when it had nine chapters and can I just say I love the way you wrote the tenth chapter? It gives off that Jane Austen feel to it but modernized and I love this paragraph:

“Jessica was… is… my first love,” he began. “And first love is the kind of love that you would never be able to completely forget. And not that I want to, anyway. She is… different in my eyes. Never thought that I would actually fall for that type, but in the end…” he chuckled. “You cannot really choose who you want to fall in love with.”

TOTAL[111/125]