140127.8AM

It's still the 27th day of January 2014.

The day Baekhyun dreads the most.

The day he made the worst decision of his life.

The day he needs to disappear.

The day he was not by Chanyeol's side when he should have.

"How did you do it?"

"Someone helped me."

Chanyeol slowly nods.

"Then how do you know when to show up?"

Baekhyunpauses, he lifts a hand and starts drawing shapes on Chanyeol's cheek.

"It depends on the times you think of me."

The giant makes out a pout that had Baekhyun giggling. He lightly taps his index finger on his lover's pouted lips.

"You're cute when you pout."

Chanyeol only pouts even more.

"But I always think about you…"

"Mhm..."

"But you're still not around always. You still disappear at night time..."

Baekhyun props himself up on his elbow to peck on Chanyeol's cheek. The action surprises both of them and Baekhyun plops back to bed, hiding his flushed cheeks from Chanyeol's view.

"You have to write it down for it to happen…"came the muffled whisper from the blushing petite male.

"Oh."

Silence invades the room, both of them treasuring every second of it, carving the feelings onto their hearts for forever. The feelings are painful but spending it with the person they love is worth every painful blade carving onto their hearts.

“Were you scared?”

Is that something that still needs to be asked?

Baekhyun places an arm over Chanyeol’s waist and hugs him as they cuddle on the same narrow bed. He nods his head.

“Were you sad?”

He nods again.

“Why?”

Baekhyun’s breathing hitches, Chanyeol felt it.

“B-because…because you…you still haven’t given me my birthday gift for last year, y-you stupid...” Chanyeol intended to laugh but it came off as a cough. Baekhyun snuggles closer, tighter.

“And..?”

“And… I... I didn’t get to slap you for being a jerk to me since forever..”

“But you slapped me on that first day you appeared…”

“Because it was my priority...”

Baekhyun is the one who lets out a small laugh this timeonly that, it is laced with sadness that Chanyeol was able to detect.

Baekhyun doesn’t see the sad look on his face.

“... And what more…?”

Chanyeol feels his chest beginning to hurt again and he could barely stop himself from coughing violently again.

“And… I didn’t get to say things I wanted to say.”

“Like what?”

Baekhyun pauses for awhile before reaching out for Chanyeol’s hand and lacing them together.

“Like your hands fit perfectly with mine." He pauses to look up at Chanyeol. He raises his other hand to caress the latter's cheek. "And your voice is so deep and I actually really like it... And I like the way your hair bounces when you’re running... or how you run your finger through them..." He then runs his fingers through Chanyeol's hair. The latter closes his eyes, the feeling of Baekhyun's fingertips lightly touching his scalp lingering, electrifying his nerves. "...or how you lazily sling your bag to your back..." His hand slides down to Chanyeol's shoulder and snuggles closer to him. "...or how you at being cooperative...”

Chanyeol chuckles, although his chest is tightening.

“…and I miss you.”

Baekhyun rises from Chanyeol’s hold and leans down to place a soft kiss on the latter’s lips. He pulls a fraction away to whisper again,

“...and... also because I haven’t told you that—”

“Don’t tell me you’re finally going to confess your undying love for me?”

Baekhyun very lightly hits Chanyeol’s shoulder before leaning back to wrap his arm around the taller'swaist.

“You’re stupid..”

He can feel the small vibrationof Chanyeol'schest caused by Chanyeol chuckling.

“I know.. I’m sorry I’m very stupid.”

He buries his head on the crook of Chanyeol’s neck, placing there a loving kiss.

“You’re stupid but I love you…so much.”

There it is. He said it. He finally said it. He finally said those words he has wanted to tell Chanyeol. But there is always that regret at the back of his head. Maybe this is why he couldn't say it on the very first day he came back. Maybe the reason he couldn't say those words was because being able to say those words to Chanyeol is the very purpose of his travel. Once he succeeds then all that is left is for him is to disappear because he has already served the purpose of his travel.

Chanyeol already knows.

He will disappear now, whether he likes it or not. The happiness of letting Chanyeol finally know get mixed with the painful realization that the Baekhyun in this time line would still be in the same pain thinking he couldn't let Chanyeol know of his feelings. But that's okay. It's okay if he's the only one in pain. He deserves this. He deserves the pain. He wasted three years. He had been hurting Chanyeol for three years. Even this cannot suffice to the pain he has inflicted on Chanyeol.

Can't I stay instead?

He rises up again to kiss the man he loves.

The kiss lingered, their tears gets mixed together as both of them stays still for what seems like forever. Only that it took only seconds as they part, their eyes remained close as Baekhyun leans back on Chanyeol’s chest.

“I love you too...always.”

Always...

It was the last words Baekhyun heard before Chanyeol felt his hold on him becoming loose, and when he opens his eyes, Baekhyun isn’t there anymore.

Tears began to flow down his cheeks again. This time, he didn’t need to hide them. Because the person he hides the tears from isn’t around anymore.