FAITH ON US

by : ErinKrystal

Title: [3/5] Umm... it's not that much interesting since it's pretty common also, it doesn't really connect to your story. On your poster, it says give me some of your trust and you'll never regret it.I think a title with trust or believe in the title would make more sense. And, you don't need to capitalize on in the title.

Graphics: [4/5] Poster is nice ( the oc's pic is a bit blurred though ), layout is acceptable, and the fonts fit well. Good job.

Foreword & Description: [5/10] Description is kind of confusing, I'm kind of confused on the quote (?) there? And the foreword, I am not a big fan of character introduction. I personally like to understand the characters as the story goes but, it wasn't that bad.

Plot: [11/20] Just as the problem on most of the stories here on aff. Cliche. These kinds of stories are often found in aff. Female and male lead characters, one with a bad past and the other being rich, slowly falling for each other. the ending can be guessed easily by the readers, a bit unrealistic too. Chapter five's plot twist made me raise your points but, at the same time the plot twist is kind of confusing. I mean why in the world would EunChae ask Seungri to leave her? I think we all now that she loves him and if she did feel uncomfortable around him, why didn't she avoid him since the beginning? But, then I understand after chapter 8, bad past huh?

Characterization: [2/10] I am disappointed of you, the character doesn't feel alive. It's like they don't have any emotions.  Their personality is too plain and boring,also they seem unbelievable.I mean love at first sight isn't really something I believe and EunChae agreed to go out with Seungri just after meeting him once. Not so realistic. Also, I think some characters Karilyn and Jihee didn't need to be on your story. They barely did anything. I suggest to you, when you write your story, be the character, feel what he or she feels to get more realistic emotions and personality.

Originality: [2/10] Not original enough. I've read thousands of stories like this.The plot, characters, it's all something I see in many fanfics. You should really think of an interesting and unique plot and make the character's personality different from personality of characters in most fanfics. Do a mix of personalities and make it as a realistic but interesting character.

Flow: [4/10] Your flow is too slow, I felt a bit bored while reading this. Also, you didn't pace the story well, there was some really abrupt scene change. The point is your story is unstable and I think you need to fix this.

Grammar & Spelling: [8/20] Your grammar and spelling was not the worst but, it was pretty bad. The thing that confused me the most is your weird change of past to present / present to past. You also often use a word over and over again which is also confusing. I also found some awkward phrasing and word that doesn't fit right  in a sentence. English isn't your first language, it isn't mine too but, you should really learn more especially about past and present tense because it makes me confused when reading the story.

Overall Enjoyment: [2/5] First thing, I think it's kind of boring and when reading it, I wanted to finish reading quickly. I felt like the story was so long even, I read longer stories but, I didn't feel bored. Some grammar mistakes and awkward words and sentences really make me uncomfortable reading it.I didn't understand some of the parts in the story.

Bonus points: [5/5] 

Final Points : [44/100] I'm sorry if i was being harsh and all but I'm being honest here. As I mentioned many times before you should make the plot more unique and interesting, don't make the characters unrealistic and plain, last but not least learn more English. When you do all of this and you practice, you will get an awesome story! Good Luck! P.S. Sorry it took a long time for me to review