WHAT IS THE MATTER?

by : mad_asli

Title: [3/5] I think this title is pretty common. The good news for you is that this title can mean a lot of things, still it isn't that interesting. I can think loads of better titles for your story.

Graphics: [1/5] You don't have graphics in any kind but well, at least the layout is readable.I give you one for that.

Foreword & Description: [3/10] Your description doesn't tell much and it doesn't attract me to read your story at all. It could've been made a lot better. You don't have any foreword too so.. yeah..

Plot: [5/20] Why did I give you five? This plot is actually a great idea. If written properly. And ( I don't mean to insult ) your grammar really messes this up. I hardly can understand anything. The plot doesn't make any sense at all.. I don't know what to say. I'm sorry. Many parts of the story just doesn't make sense. The only thing my brain can get is Baro is on a killing spree.

Characterization: [4/10] I also don't understand the characters. You don't describe their characters well. I understand Baro is a psychotic killer, Jiwoo is his protective sister, Taeyeon is the girl Baro loves, that also doesn't even care when Baro kills her father just because he arranged a marriage for her(you seriously think someone would be like this?), at least stalker Jinyoung is still a bit understandable. I can't even understand their emotions. I don't think these characters have any emotion at all.

Originality: [10/10] I never seen anything like this. The plot. The flow. The Grammar. Omgee. I'm not referring the originality in a good way, to be honest.In another word I have never seen or read a fanfic as badly written as this.

Flow: [2/10] Your flow is too, very fast. Also, many scene isn't described well at all. The flow also doesn't make sense. I still don't get what's Jiwoo's connection with Taeyeon's father. Ending doesn't make any sense too.

Grammar & Spelling: [2/20] I'm really sorry but, I need to be honest. Oh my goat! Your grammar makes this story unreadable, really. English isn'y my first language and I presume it isn't yours too but you could've at least made it a bit better. Your choice of words were also bad. I just don't know what to say. Wait I do know, I sincerely beg to you. Please, learn and practice more english.

Overall Enjoyment: [0/5] I didn't enjoy it at all. OMGee. I can't even understand anything.  I had to read it multiple times to at least understand something. Your title is true. What is happening? I can't even get a thing.

Bonus points: [5/5] 

Final Points : [35/100] Your points are horrible because, mostly, your grammar. Your flow is too fast. Plot doesn't make sense. You need a lot of practice. A LOT. A LOT. Anyways, thank you for requesting and I'm sorry if I was too harsh. You should practice a lot and I'm postive that you can make better stories.