A DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS

by : greenpurple

Title: [3/5] Once again, this title is commonly found in the aff as a title for angst stories. Even it's common and I don't find it trally interesting, it fits perfectly to your story and you gave it a different meaning when it's usually just plan angst you made it more unique and all. I'm going to talk more about this in the plot.

Graphics: [4/5] Poster fits perfectly except it's a bit too angsty, it needs more work on the blending but, I'm not here to review the poster. Font also fits perfectly. Layout is beautiful, I really like the snowflake divider.

Foreword & Description: [8/10] Your description is flawless, it attracts me to the story just as soon I read it. The snowflakes and the title is a great addition to make it look pretty.  And in the foreword, you explained your story perfectly. Not too much, but enough to make people curious. Great job!

Plot: [15/20] I don't found these kinds of stories often, I love the plot. It's not so commonly found but still, realistic and unique.A mix of sad-cute-fluff, it's beautiful with all the break up and the friendship. The plot is just simply wonderful. From the beggning where Baekhyun asked Luhan about Sehun until their bubble tea break up and then BaekYeol sweet but, sad break up until the last conversation about being best friends and all. Except I was kind of confuse about HunHan's break up, Sehun still does love me but, why would he leave Luhan? Well, even tough it's still a nice plot.

Characterization: [5/10] Personality and emotions were shown but, it wasn't full emotions. But then again, it's only because you didn't describe it well. If you described the emotions more deeply and all it'll bring more feels to reader. I felt the emotion but, I thought with a story like this the emotions would be really shown. Other than the personality isn't so plain and boring, the characterization was nice overall but, you need more of the emotions.

Originality: [7/10] This. I really don't know how to score the originality. I did say that the plot was unique when combined but, some scenes like the break up was a bit cliche. And also the title needs to be more original and attractive. One last thing, the characters need stronger and original personality. Get what I mean?

Flow: [7/10] Your flow is perfectly fine and stable. You didn't confuse me at all with the changes of the scene from past and present but, you need to be more descriptive  when writing a story. As I said before, being descriptive makes readers understand the plot and the characters more but DO NOT be too descriptive because it'll be complicated and confusing.

Grammar & Spelling: [12/20] Your grammar and spelling was fine, but it wasn't good enough. Some misspellings and grammar mistakes was seen although it was barely noticeable. The thing you need to fix the most is your choice of words. In this story, some words just felt wrong in the sentence. And last, there was some awkward phrasing too. But, it wasn't that bad.

Overall Enjoyment: [4/5] I enjoyed it a lot, I love one shots and this plot is just what was I looking for. You just need to get more of the emotion and fix your grammar and spellings a bit.

Bonus points: [5/5] 

Final Points : [70/100]  It was a really good one shot overall. You need to fix the grammar, get the right emotions for the story, and last be more descriptive. Anyways, good luck for the contests you're entering! P.S. Sorry it took a long time for me to review