~CHAPTER SIX~

„You look tired.“

Joonmyun has been observing Jongin for the past week. They have been friends friends for years, ever since Jongin started working in this hospital. Joonmyun, as a good senior, showed Jongin around the first day of his job. They ended up eating lunch together. Jongin’s behaviour concerned Joonmyun even more, knowing the latter was only rarely depressed. „I am tired.“ Jongin’s answer was absent when packing his stuff. It was the end of both’s shift.

„You okay?“

No, Jongin thought as he watched the computer’s monitor shut down. He reminded himself that even though his mood was not the best (horrible to be exact), he shouldn’t be harsh at Joonmyun whatsoever. He was only worried, afterall. „Yeah, I just haven’t been sleeping well lately. That’s all.“

Joonmyun nodded, but observed Jongin anyway. He looked real bad. „You want me to give you a lift?“

Jongin hesitated but in the end agreed, and Joonmyun was glad. Joonmyun had a huge Audi Q7, its white color making it look bigger, as if it was not big enough already. It was as expensive as it seemed. Jongin’s BMW (which wasn’t even repaired yet) was nothing compared to Joonmyun’s white gigantic monster. His family ran some big business, but that was all Jongin knew since the latter didn’t like the topic. The fact that Joonmyun was a doctor didn’t make him any poorer.

Joonmyun was talking a lot during the ride, mostly about some of his interesting cases. Jongin hummed once in a while but he wasn’t listening. He wasn’t lying when he told Joonmyun he hasn’t been sleeping well lately. At night, Jongin would roll from one side to another, unable to sleep even after closing his eyes shut. This would last for hours until the dawn. He has been looking for Sehun for almost a week now, but without success. Back then Jongin realized he didn’t even know Sehun’s last name. He left without a single trace that Jongin could hold onto. It was frustrating. Maybe, just maybe it was time to let go.

Joonmyun was still taking when they rode by a new Bubble Tea branch office near his apartment, that was opened not long ago. He heard something about a patient named Zitao who almost sued the hospital for the meals they served, and Jongin was about to hum again, when his eyes spotted something unexpected.

„Joonmyun! Stop the car!“

It was another boring day at work for Sehun. Almost a week has passed since he ran away from Jongin. Kim Jongin. The man who caused it all, yet Sehun wasn’t angry at him. He just couldn’t. Later that day Sehun, though it hurt his pride, asked his workmate, Baekhyun, if he could stay at his place for a few days until he finds something else. Baekhyun was surprised, but let him stay anyway.
Sehun wasn’t treating Baekhyun the best way, most of the time ignoring him. His workmate was very cheerful and talkative, one could say a squishy ball of enthusiasm. Sehun thought the combination of those two qualities was lethal. But Baekhyun had another, very remarkable one, which Sehun didn’t know about. His sixth sense regarding other people. Sehun was ignorant, rude and cold, but he was definitely not bad.

The Angel was contemplating why wouldn’t his Lord allow him to come back already. That was his only possible way of escape. Escape from everything that was trying to hunt him down. It’s been a long, long time and Sehun wanted his wings back, but he wanted to stay with Jongin at the same time. He missed Luhan so bad, but missed Jongin as much. It was hard. 

„Go home first, I will clean up.“ It was store’s closing time.

Baekhyun shot Sehun a surprised look, but the latter pretended he didn’t see. He has been doing this quite often lately, and everytime, Baekhyun’s reaction is the same. „Wow, who are you and what have you done to Sehun.“

„Shut up Baekhyun, or I’ll change my mind.“

Sehun’s response was always this y, but Baekhyun was not offended. „No need to say twice,“ he stuck out his tongue and stepped out of the store with a happy „bye“. Finally. It was not like Sehun hated Baekhyun (he did only sometimes), he just wanted a few moments spent in peace and quiet, which, with Baekhyun, was something impossible to get.

So this was the place where Sehun has been working. Jongin couldn’t believe he didn’t think of this earlier. It all made perfect sense now. Sehun bringing him a cup almost every day. The job where he was willing to endure presence of not so intelligent people. It could only be Sehun’s beloved Bubble Tea.
Jongin was observing him through the transparent door and windows from the outside. At first, he was mad at Sehun for doing this to him, for leaving him like that, but now, as if the anger disappeared right then at the sigh of Sehun. He looked different, Jongin noted back in his mind. Distant, like when they first met. Jongin waited until the second person inside left. He inhlaed the cold air deeply.

Sehun heard sound of the door opening and he was sure his workmate must’ve have left something at the shop. It hapenned quite often (if not every second day). „No, Baekhyun, I didn’t hide your phone to make you cr-“

 „So you already found someone else to bully?“

Jongin. The person who just walked in, it was Jongin. Sehun didn’t need to look, to know withou hesitating even once. Only hearing his voice made Sehun’s heart pound like crazy. Jongin’s did too.

Sehun turned his head to look at Jongin. Their eyes locked and both of them stayed quiet. Jongin looked so worn out, dark circles framing his tired eyes once so full of life. Even after all this, he seemed calm. How did Jongin manage to find him? Was he mad? Did he miss him, like Sehun did? So many questions, not a single answer. Sehun gulped. „What are you doing here?“

Jongin, however, didn’t answer. He took a step closer to Sehun and simultaneously, Sehun made a step back. Again. And again, until Sehun’s back hit the wall. He gasped.
Jongin made another step in the same direction, and that was one of the things Sehun didn’t want to happen again. „Stop! W-What do you want?“

What do you want? It hurt Jongin to hear a such question after all the time spent together. He sighed. „Answers.“

He was about to make another step forward and Sehun seemed to notice. „Don’t! Don’t come closer! I… I told you not to look for me!“

Sehun was scared. He was holding back and Jongin knew. He didn’t know the reason though. „Why not?“ Jongin’s voice was hoarse and soft. It took him only another step to stand in front of Sehun, whose whole back was now pressed against the wall.

„Please, don’t do this to me… You don’t understand-“ But Jongin raised his hand and cupped Sehun’s cheek. The latter stunned, cutting of his sentence in the middle.

„You’re right, I don’t understand…But I know what is right,“ He finished off with a slight smile and leaned forward. Their lips met.

Sehun didn’t fight back, it was as if his muscles rejected to cooperate. This was so wrong and he knew, but right now, Sehun would do anything wrong as long as Jongin was there. His heartbeat was so lound and unsteady, and Sehun thought he might faint right there and then. The kiss was, on the other hand, as tender as Jongin’s butterfly touch. This was so new, yet so delightful, and Sehun found himself melting into the feeling, his eyes closing slowly.

And then it hit him hard.

Sehun flicked his eyes open again. His worst dread just came true. „Hey,“ Jongin hushed him as if he could read his mind, still cupping Sehun’s cheek. „It’s okay.“

„I love you.“

And Jongin’s heart skipped two beats.  He did want to hear Sehun say those three words, but he couldn’t unsee the latter’s expression when Jongin pulled away. It was full of fear and panic. „Me too.“ A soft smile spread across Jongin’s face as his thumb caressed Sehun’s cheek reassuringly, trying to calm him down.

„I-I can’t…I’m not supposed to-“ Sehun’s voice was nothing but a whisper. His whole being was trembling.

Jongin was confused vehemently. At first he thought Sehun was frightened of the actual feeling, but it didn’t look like that anymore. As much as he thought, he still couldn’t think of one reason why Sehun couldn’t love him. He insisted. „Why not?“

„I can’t tell you why, I just can’t…“ Sehun shook his head rapidly, his voice more firm this time. He was getting angry. Angry at the situation, angry at the whole world.

Jongin was contemplating while staring at Sehun intensively. What was the reason? Was the problem in Jongin? Did Sehun think he was not good enough? Blood in his veins was boiling. Jongin couldn’t bear the thought of Sehun regretting his feelings towards him. And for the first time, he raised his voice. „Damn it Sehun, tell me why the the hell you can’t have feelings for me!“

Sehun wasn’t taken aback. Instead, his resistance was slowly but surely running low, until Sehun couldn’t handle it anymore. So much pressure, misunderstandings, desire. This was the final straw. „Because we’re too different, Jongin! I’m not like you, I don’t belong to this world! An Angel can’t love a human being!“ 

And suddenly, heavy silence took over. It was too late when Sehun realized what he’d just said. He covered his mouth with both of his hands, eyes spread big and wide. Jongin was staring at the latter with an expression of mixed shock and confusion. Like if someone threw cold water on him. „You’re…an Angel?“ Jongin found the word on his tongue so foreign.

Sehun started trembling again, his knees giving a way. Jongin’s strong arms embraced him as both of their bodies slowly slid down. They were on the floor, Jongin holding onto Sehun like a guardian protecting his treasure. „Sehun?“

There was no way out of this. No more lies, Jongin deserved to know the truth. Sehun mumbled. „I-I know how it sounds, it’s ridiculous-“

„No, no… I believe you.“

Sehun lied so many times about so many things and Jongin thought this moment might be one of the most confusing ones in his life, but this time, Sehun wasn’t lying. Jongin just knew. Not being in a database of missing persons, injury on each shoulder blade, Sehun’s supernatural charm and utterly beautiful smile. There was only one thing left that Jongin didn’t know answer to.

„B-But how?“

Sehun, as if he knew what Jongin meant, began explaining. His last misson was to save a human being saved from its death. Not only that he failed to keep her alive, he also broke one of the Holy rules in the last hope of saving her, when revealing the existence of Angels and Heaven. She didn’t believe it and neither did she let Sehun help her. Therefore, she died. She died, but that didn’t change the fact that rule was a rule and that he broke it. That was the story how his wings were taken away from him. Sehun later realized he had just broken two of the Holy rules just in a few minutes. Falling in love with Jongin and telling him all this. He had stopped from time to time when he thought it sounded too much, but Jongin always shook his head and encouraged him to carry on. Sharing this with someone made Sehun a lot calmer.

„Another of the Holy rules is that us, Angels, can’t fall for someone like you.“ His voice cracked at the end of the sentence, just as Sehun realized the gravity of his acts. Panic attack him again. „We’re in big trouble, I’m in big trouble…“
Sehun’s body wanted to tremble again, but Jongin embraced him so tightly that there was barely any space to do so. It broke Jongin’s heart into countless pieces, to see Sehun like that.

„Shh, we can work this out. It will be okay, I promise.“

Sehun wanted to believe Jongin’s words so bad, but deep inside, the Angel knew it won’t be okay, ever. And at that moment, Sehun learned that reality isn’t like a book and life doesn’t end with happily ever after.