Warning; this fic includes some statements about God and religion that you might not love. I don't want to doubt Christian religion in any way! 

Oh and I recommend you to listen to [this] while reading!

 

~FINAL~

That night, Luhan appeared in his sleep. When Sehun spotted him, he knew the image wasn’t created by his imagination because, well, Angels don’t dream and neither does Sehun. Sehun didn’t know why Luhan came, but seeing him after such a long time made him more than glad.

„Luhan,“ Sehun called his name, when Luhan was already walking in his direction.

„Hi, Sehun,“ the latter gave him one of his lovely smiles and Sehun, after all this time, still found himself being amazed by it. He always was.

Luhan made his last step towards the younger, and Sehun couldn’t help but to smile widely. It was comfortably silent, both of them appreciating each other’s presence after being parted for so long. Sehun studied Luhan. His golden hair smooth and silky, lips thin and cute, eyes utterly beautiful as always. Illuminated background made Luhan seem more angelic, if it was any more possible. But this time, something seemed off. Maybe it was the twinkle in Luhan’s eyes that disappeared, and that Sehun seemed to newly gain. It was hardly noticeable, but Sehun did see it. Only the reason was unknown.

„I missed you.“

This was actually the first time Sehun told him something so sincerely warm and Luhan was perplexed. Shall he be delighted that Sehun was finally open, or dissapointed because Luhan was not the reason? In the end, Luhan only smiled softly, corners of his mouth curling slightly upward.
Sehun though Luhan would say he missed Sehun too, or at least have a huge grin spread across his face, but none of that happened. Luhan only smiled, yet it wasn’t his usual smile. There was a message behind it, but Sehun couldn’t decipher it. Luhan’s reaction hurt him a little, but he didn’t show it. He smiled anyways.

„The Lord doesn’t know I’m here.“ Luhan’s soft voice was a little above whisper, as if there was danger of someone hearing them. His face was a little concerned, but it was nothing compared to the seriousness of the statement.
Angels had this ability to appear in someone’s sleep. Sehun wasn’t calling it a dream, because Angels don’t dream and he still was one, just not now. They don’t even sleep afterall, but they always needed permission of their Lord for this. It seemed as if Sehun was more worried than Luhan was, which was quite ironic since Luhan was the one who betrayed the convention. And that was what made Sehun so shocked. Luhan never broke a single rule. Never.

„What do you mean he doesn’t know?“

„That’s not important now.“ Luhan brushed it off and looked at Sehun straight. „I don’t know how much time I have left thus let’s get to why I’m here.“

Sehun had no idea what was that important that Luhan was forced to disobey one of the Holy rules, but nodded anyway. Before Luhan spoke up, he let out a helpless sigh. „Sehun, I was observing you yesterday…And I saw everything.“

It lasted a few seconds until Sehun finally realized what was on Luhan’s mind. „E-Everything?“ He stuttered on his words as the fear was coming back.

„Everything, Sehun… Everything.“ Luhan took his time as if he wanted to go slowly on Sehun. He could feel the anxiety of the latter’s and for a mili second, he thought me might caress his cheek comfortingly, but the idea was dropped as fast as it came.

„I-I don’t know how it happened…It just-“

„Happened.“ Luhan completed Sehun’s unfishished sentence, as if he knew it from the beginning. „Sehun,“ he sighed again. „Us, Angels, don’t feel physically but do feel emotionally.“

Sehun was speechless. Luhan continued on speaking.

„But you know all this. What you don’t, is that since the moment you’ve admitted loving that mortal man,“ The words on Luhan’s tongue tasted way more bitter than Sehun could ever imagine. „the Lord ordered the Archangel to get you.“ 

Sehun was astounded. Archangel, right arm of the Highest, was now going after him and Luhan… Luhan who was pure like freshly fallen snow, broke one of the Holy rules. Only because of Sehun. He shook his head slowly. „Luhan… How can you risk like that?“

Luhan saw the worry and appreciation written in Sehun’s face. It must be enought, he thought. Luhan smiled softly. „You know I’d do anything for you.“

That sentence made Sehun feel horrible. Luhan was risking the sake of his to save Sehun’s and Sehun couldn’t even recall the last time he did something like that for Luhan (if there was anything to remember). „I am so sorry…“ Sehun didn’t even know what was he sorry for since there were so many awful things he was sorry about. Everything, maybe. Luhan still kept smiling nonetheless. 

„I must go now“ he said and made a step back, but Sehun wasn’t ready to part again. He made a step forward, coming after his best friend.

„Don’t go, Luhan!“

Each second, Luhan seemed more distatnt and Sehun ran after him, his hand extended to catch him. However Sehun was too slow. The last thing he saw was Luhan’s blue smile, before he merged with the blinding surroundings completely.

Don’t go!

Some invisible power shook his body violently. Sehun tried to escape from its claws, his legs kicking, arms brandishing, but they cluthed on too tightly. „No! Luhan, don’t go!“

And then, his eyes flashed open. It was dark, but Sehun still could recognize Jongin’s silhouette hovering over him, his hands on Sehun’s shoulders. Jongin pulled Sehun in his lap and embraced him lika a guardian. „It was just a nightmare,“ he whispered in Sehun’s ear, rocking their bodies soothingly from one side to another. „Just a nightmare.“

„Jongin,“ Sehun’s voice was hoarse and absent. „They are coming.“

Over the thousand of years, human beings developed a thing called religion. They came up with many traditions to which they stick up until today. They hope, they love, they pray to God for their wishes and worries. Only if they knew that their God doesn’t listen… He doesn’t make miracles come true, and Heaven isn’t a paradise. It’s an Order with Angels as the pawns and the Highest in the lead. His only duty is to keep the world in balance. If a natural disaster’s needed, he lets it happen and if numerous humans’ lifes stand in a way, he sacrifices them. 
And if one of the pawns doesn’t do his job well, he gets eliminated, the Archangel concluded in his head while rubbing the dust off his weapon with his own palms. Azbogah. A Holy bow which can eliminate anything and everything that its arrow targets. He saw a light flash in the corner of his eyes. It signalized another Angel’s presence.

„I know where you were,“ The Archangel said as the newly comer walked towards him. It was not a lie.

Luhan didn’t respond. He didn’t seem to care much, either. „I know where you’re going,“ His voice was soft and quiet as always. „And I’m coming with you.“

The Archangel stared at Luhan for a while, but didn’t stop him. Luhan has had a crush on Sehun since forever and everyone knew. Well, everyone but Sehun. Sehun who was too self-centred to even notice and moreover fell in love with a human being. „You deserve so much better,“  The Archangel sighed and dropped his eyes to the golden weapon in his hands. He hasn’t used it for decades, if not centuries.

Even without looking he could vividly see Luhan’s surprised expression, which vanished as soon as it appeared. There was a pause, not too long but longer than usual. „I don’t know what you’re talking about.“

But the Archangel was aware that Luhan knew it very well.
 

…

„I don’t get it Sehun. They’re coming after you and you… you sit on a sofa and drink Bubble Tea.“

Jongin has been walking around the livingroom since the moment Sehun woke up from his nightmare. He suggested many plans regarding his and Sehun’s escape, but Sehun always laughed slightly or even just smiled, which made Jongin even more nervous.  This time was at least the thirtieth time Jongin asked and Sehun probably couldn’t stand it anymore.

„Jongin, are you even listening to what you’re saying?“ A small laugh escaped Sehun’s lips, but it wasn’t joyful. „We can’t just pack our things and move to Russia.“

„Maybe not, but we can-“

„No, Jongin. No matter what place we go, they’ll find us in no time. Let’s not waste the little time we have left, that’s all I ask for.“ The words stung like acid on Sehun’s tongue, but he kept smiling anyway. Jongin knew the smile wasn’t sincere.

„Sehun, smile!“ The brunet said out of nowhere, his voice cheerful as he demonstrated with a huge grin. Sehun though Jongin looked hilarious and horrible at the same time, but in the end he laughed heartily. Jongin still couldn’t get over the way Sehun’s eyes turned into two moons when he either smiled or laughed.

They ended up cuddling on the couch, Jongin’s head on Sehun’s lap as the Angel the latter’s hair. They were both quiet, thinking about what could have been, maybe. Jongin was hurt, angry and desparate all in one. But for Sehun, he tried to be optimistic. „You know, it’s not that bad. It could have been worse, I mean, you will be away for a while, but later you’ll be getting missions down here right, and then we can meet and make out from time to time, too. Oh and we could run some Bubble Tea business!“ 

And there it was again, Sehun’s devastated smile. Jongin cursed in his mind silently. He tried to cheer Sehun up, but only made it worse. „I-I’m sorry I just-“

„No,“ Sehun breathed, his lips quivering. „I like the idea. Bubble Tea.“

Jongin seemed to relax under his fingers. He spent the next hour by talking about the things they could do in the future once Sehun comes back, even if just for a while; they could have a shared bedroom and paint it to Sehun’s favorite green, create a huge library only for Sehun’s books, go to Italian beach or name the Bubble Tea company after Sehun when it’s being opened. Everything Jongin said consisted Sehun, and everytime he asked for Sehun’s opinion, Sehun bit his cheeks from the inside and nodded, smiling painfully. He thought his throat might suffocate him anytime, it clenched so hard to the point of aching. Maybe Sehun really did deserve to die by the most painful death.

„Oh, and who’s Luhan? I heard you calling his name in your s-“

Sehun knew what would the question sound like, but before he had a chance to choose his words wisely, a flash of light blinded both of them. Even when Sehun couldn’t see it, he knew what it was. The Archangel was here and he came to eliminate him.

But Sehun could see another silhouette in the mist. It was too similar to be mistaken and Sehun refused to believe it until he saw it with his own eyes. „Luhan!“ He almost shouted and Jongin narrowed his eyes to focus on the man Sehun was referring to. He almost forgot how to breathe when realizing he knew the face. Luhan stood there with the same lovely smile he always wore, the one and only Archangel beside him.

„Kyungsoo,“ Sehun said without any hint of emotions in his voice and their eyes locked. The Archangel’s expression was indifferent. Kyungsoo had those full lips and big eyes of his, that everytime they stared at him, Sehun had a strange feeling and he almost thought that Kyungsoo could see through his soul. He wasn’t well build, quite short actually, but whoever made made of him, he did once but never twice. Kyungsoo wasn’t the right person to mess with. Also he never really liked Sehun and Sehun knew that very well, but he liked Luhan. In fact, everyone liked Luhan. Sehun’s eyes lowered to Kyungsoo’s hand, to the thing it was clenching to be more exact. It was a great golden bow, embellished with numerous ornaments and adornments. One golden arrow could be seen sticking up behind Kyungsoo’s back. It was indeed a beautiful weapon, but lethal as much. This splendid object was going to eliminate him.

„You are the one who saved my life in the other day! I saw your face under the water!“ Jongin exclaimed and both Sehun and Kyungsoo’s expression grew confused. They had no clue what was Jongin talking about, but Luhan didn’t seem to be surprised. In fact, he was smiling.

„Hi,“ Luhan’s hand rose and waved a bit. Sehun’s brain worked vigorously upon finding an explanation for what he just heard, but as much as he contemplaited, there didn’t seem to be any- oh. Kyungsoo seemed to get it now, too. So…Luhan had saved Jongin during the accident on the bridge. Jongin looked as if he wanted to say something, probably saying thanks but before he even parted his lips, Kyungsoo’s voice sliced the room.

„I’m not here to listen to some human being talking.“ He said with eyes settled on Sehun, clearly not interested in Jongin’s presence. „Let’s not make drama out of this.“

Sehun’s gaze traveled from Kyungsoo to Luhan as he slowly walked towards the two Angels. He wasn’t completely sure if he was glad that Luhan was here with him during the last moments of his existence, or upset because he simply didn’t want Luhan to see this. Also, he thought Luhan’s face would be all wet and salty from tears, but his expression seemed rather absent. Sehun felt something being off, and it was odd. He, however, didn’t ask. Kyungsoo took a better look at the blonde when he stepped forward. Sehun really did look like a legit human now, his clothes and gait making it even more plausibe. However he looked almost the same, only a slight change in his eyes. They seemed so full of life and joy unlike before, and it made Kyungsoo this close to being sorry for doing this. No, he was the Archangel and he maintained this post for a reason. No emotions should be included. „Do you have any last words before you cease to exist?“

„Wait-“ Jongin tensed up as he heard the Archangel’s question. „What do you mean by cease to exist?!“ There was no answer. Luhan seemed to be a little surprised, but the expression changed right after. His eyes narrowed at Sehun slightly, whose lids were shut and expression scrunched. When Luhan finally got it, Jongin did too. This couldn’t be true… In no time, the brunet ran towards Sehun and grabbed his shoulders. The latter was not resisting, letting Jongin to jiggle his body violently. He did deserve all of this, afterall.

„Sehun! How could you?!“ The room was filled with Jongin’s cries and nothing else. „How yould you do this to me?! I thought… I thought that…“ He was lost for words, tears threatening to spill anytime and Sehun wasn’t sure if they were forced out by sadness or anger. Both, maybe. Sehun bit on his lip so hard that soon his tongue could taste a metallic liquid leaking, his eyes still shut.

„Sehun, look at me.“ His voice was more than pleading, seeking for an explanation, but Sehun refused both. Jongin wouldn’t understand, would he? No, of course not. Becuase Jongin was a human being. Human being that made him laugh like he never did, that made him feel like he was never able to, human being that Sehun fell in love with. But in the end, Jongin was still just a human being.

As much as Kyungsoo didn’t like Sehun, he would be lying if he claimed he was happy seeing this. But the reason of his presence was not to witness a tragic love story, rather than completing the given mission. It must’ve been done. „Move aside!“ Both his voice and expression was firm despite the mixed feelings washing over his being. But Jongin didn’t listen, it was almost as if he could’t see or hear anything, anything but Sehun. Kyungsoo spotted Luhan in the corner of his eye, the latter Angel watching the scene in front of them as well. Luhan was pretending, but Kyungsoo could see he was fighting inside. The real question was why.

In a second, Jongin’s body flew to the side, as if some invisible power threw it. His back hit the metal heater, the limp body rolling down onto the carpet a few moments later. Sehun shot his eyes open, staring in shock at Jongin’s figure lying lifeless on the floor. „No!“ He shouted at Kyungsoo, whose hand was still rose. Sehun was sure he used some of the gifted magic. „Don’t hurt him! You are not supposed to hurt him!“

But Kyungsoo wasn’t reacting to any of Sehun’s words. Instead, his hand clenching Azbogah rose and another reached for the golden arrow. Even if the Archangel said nothing and his expression was indefinable, Sehun got the message and knew what was coming next.

Sehun could hear Jongin’s body coming back to life. He was bruised but alive nonetheless, and that was the thing Sehun needed to know the most. The brunet was trying hard to get up and reach out to Sehun, and his lover could see him aching both physically and mentally. Jongin could never make it on time. „Don’t.“ Sehun said, his head shaking and expression painful. „Please, Jongin, I beg you... Don’t make this any harder.“

Jongin stiffened. He managed to lock eyes with Sehun , but he let his words go through his mind. Sehun was right and Jongin knew. And just now, Sehun realized he had so much to loose. But it was too late. Only minutes, if not seconds seperated him from the infinite nothingness. Sehun took a look at Jongin for the last time. Jongin’s eyes were full of water, blank and hollow. Sehun didn’t need to say it out loud to Jongin perceive the exculpatory and affectionate message behind his gaze.

Sehun’s dark orbs now found Luhan’s, just to see that the latter has been watching him the whole time. His bestfriend was aching, too. And suddenly, a similar lovely smile spread across the angelic face. Sehun loosened up slightly at this, and tried to smile back while nodding at the latter. Luhan nodded, too.

„In the name of the Father, Son and Holy spirit,“ Kyungsoo’s voice said ever so softly. The Azbogah, arched by the golden arrow, was now aiming right at Sehun. It couldn’t miss the target, not when being held in Kyungsoo’s hands.

Sehun closed his eyes. So this was really the end.

…

Even with his lids shut, Sehun could hear the release of the arrow and its loud whizzing sound when aviating through the air. A flash illuminated the whole room with a blinding light, signiling that the arrow did indeed hit the target. It did not hurt, but something was terribly, terribly wrong. Sehun could feel it in his guts.

Just when the light ceased away and Sehun’s vision got slightly better, he saw it. Jongin on his knees, his eyes still glossy with tears, expression shocked. Kyungsoo’s expression was identical with Jongin’s, if not more horrified, hands of the Archangel still hanging in the air. They trembled visibly. 

And Luhan lying on the floor.

„No… No!“

Sehun cried out when seeing his bestfriend knocking down onto the floor, an arrow pierced through his slender body. An arrow that was meant to capture him. This was not real, this couldn’t be real. Luhan couldn’t possibly do this kind of thing, he wouldn’t do that to Sehun. No. But why were his eyes letting him see a totally sifferent sigh? Why was now Luhan lying in his arms, his body ever so fragile?

„No, no, no…“ Sehun’s voice was nothing but a whisper, chanting this one word like if it could turn back time. The gravity of the situation was slowly but surely sinking into every cell of his body, and Sehun found himself being in a impervious bubble. He forgot about the past few months, Kyungsoo, Jongin. Everything. And for the first time, Sehun only saw Luhan, just like Luhan’s eyes only saw Sehun this whole time.

„Shh,“ Luhan hushed Sehun, the lovely smile of his never leaving the face. „I’m fine,“ he managed to say, his voice even softer than it used to be. Sehun felt guilty, helpless and desperate all in one. His heart couldn’t accept what his brain already knew. Luhan will soon cease to exist.

„Sehun-ah… You hated humans so much but in the end, you wish you were one of them.“

„I know, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…“ Sehun chocked out of his throat, a terrible feeling he couldn’t name seeping through his body, a foreign liquid blurring his vision. Something inside him broke, and for the first time in his whole existence, Luhan saw Sehun cry. The teardrops falling from Sehun’s lashes right onto Luhan’s  pale skin. The older only smiled and extended his hand to cup Sehun’s cheek. Sehun leaned into the latter’s touch naturally.

„You look so vulnerable when you cry,“

Sehun’s sobs got louder and more unstable. He could not accept the fact that was happening just now. He couldn’t imagine life without Luhan’s tender voice, Luhan’s lovely smile, Luhan’s lingering presence. He just couldn’t imagine life without Luhan. He noticed Luhan’s breathing got slow and shallow, luminiscence seeping out of his body more visibly. But Sehun was not ready to let go. Not yet. Not ever.

„Don’t go,“ slipped out from Sehun’s lips as a new batch of tears emerged, his throat and chest clenching painfully. „Please, Luhan, don’t go… I don’t think I can live without you,“ he was sobbing again, each sob stabbing Luhan like a knife over and over again. It wrecked his heart into thousand pieces to see Sehun like this, and so did Sehun’s heart seeing Luhan like that.

„It’s okay, Sehun-ah,“ Luhan’s words reassuring him even if they were almost at the end. His hand slowly loosened on Sehun’s cheek but Sehun put it back on it’s place with his own, desperately holding onto the little something that was left.

„You know I love you,“ Sehun tried to look okay, but the crystal tears escaping from his soul testified the genuine opposite. Sehun was far from being okay. He could never be okay. Luhan died to hear those three words coming out from Sehun’s lips, but he knew it was not said in the way he desired. It’s okay, Luhan thought, it’s enough. He’s already too weak to give Sehun one of his lovely smiles, but tries anyway. Sehun’s smile given back is as sad as Luhan’s. It’s okay, he thinks over and over again, it’s enough.

„And you know I always will,“ Luhan gives out his last breath, last words of a whisper that zephyr takes away, and Sehun breaks down into a crying mess all over again. He holds onto Luhan’s limp body until it completely disappears in a light of luminiscence.

No amount of tears could make Sehun feel better, but he just couldn’t stop crying. Jongin was crying. Kyungsoo was crying. The room was filled with silence harmonizing with  Sehun’s painful sobs, as if it sympathized with his loss. Luhan was gone and so was any trace of him.
 

…
 

It’s said that if an Angel spends his last moments of existence complete and satisfied, he becomes a star and joins his fellows. And that night, another star appeared on the night sky. Shining ever so brightly, tinkling as a jingle bell only for his precious ones. But Angels aren’t meant to see the night sky. There where they live is only daytime, afterall. Therefore, they cannot hear the tinkling.

„You’re coming with me.“

Sehun doesn’t know how much time has passed, doesn’t know what’s going to happen to him, he only knows he’s dull. He’s numb. He’s broken. Sehun looks up nonchalantly when Kyungsoo calls him, but doesn’t answer. He doesn’t get it and he doesn’t care. Kyungsoo sighs and swallows. His tears have dried but the concerning feeling in his guts still lingers. Kyungsoo hates it, this is not how Archangel was supposed to feel. But it’s just there and Kyungsoo can do nothing about it. „I said you were coming with me.“

Jongin was embracing the rest that once used to be Sehun. He knew words wouldn’t help, and neither would any forms of skin contact. He was only holding the latter, letting him know he was right there for him. He was loss of words for what he saw just moments ago, and even if he didn’t know who Luhan was or what he was to Sehun, he couldn’t ignore the pureness and affection soaring in the air. He has never seen anything so emotional and sicere, even when knowing almost nothing. Sehun shifted under his touch (which was his first movement since the incident) and looked up at the third person in the room.

„Just… Why? Why don’t you eliminate me?“ Sehun’s voice was raw and hoarse. A big part of him left with Luhan and if they were going to keep him away from the last thing he had left, Jongin, then in his eyes, existence had no longer any meaning. An Angel was not supposed to think like that, but he did and he couldn’t care less. Kyungsoo gave him a long stare and had his time with the answer, choosing his words carefully. 

„Sehun, you don’t get your eternity back as a reward,“ he said, a sigh almost escaping his lips along with the words. „You get it as a punishment.“ He paused, as if waiting for Sehun to realize the true meaning of his words. „It’s time.“

It didn’t take long for Sehun to understand what was Kyungsoo insinuating. It hurt Sehun even more when realizing it was the best way he could choose. He nodded sligtly at the Archangel and stood up. Jongin did immediately, too. Kyungsoo knew he’d better go now, that he should give them some private time. And when he disappeared, Sehun turned to Jongin, a soft smile on his face. It concerned Jongin a little according to the fact that Sehun, just a few moments ago, sat there as a lifeless corpse.

„It’s my time to go,“ Sehun said, his voice tender as it’s never been. He’s been through a lot and another difficulty came up next. I can do this, he encouraged himself silently, but it only made him feel worse.

„We’ll meet again, right?“ Jongin insists right away, refusing to believe the opposite. His question hurts Sehun so much, just like needles piercing in his flesh, one after another. His smile vanishes as he bites his inner cheeks and bears the guilt seeping through his skin. It’s better like that, he says in his head, this is the best ending I can offer. He smiles again.

„I wish so… If I could, I would give up my whole eternity just for you,“ Sehun runs his fingers through Jongin’s hair and his other hand cups his cheek, as Sehun’s skin takes all of Jongin in so he would never forget what does Jongin’s warmth feel like. Sehun leans in for a kiss and Jongin gladly welcomes the sudden intimate contact. It’s soft yet passionate, and it makes Sehun think he seriously can’t keep on going like this anymore. On the other hand, Jongin can’t help but to think there’s some message behind it. Sehun doesn’t say whether it’s true or not, but it is. When their lips part, Sehun feels like dying again. Seeing a light coming from the above doesn’t make him feel any better.

„It’s time, Jongin,“ Sehun says, his fingers leaving Jonggin’s straws of hair and smooth skin. The loss of contact makes Jongin feel uneasy, but then he sees the most breath-taking view in his entire life. Sehun soaring in the air, a light from above illuminating his silouhette and huge wide-spread wings coming out from behind. They were snowy white and so were his clothes. This was the real side of Sehun and Jongin thought that saying utterly beautiful wasn’t enough. But when he tried to reach out for the last time, Sehun was not physically present anymore.

„I will be waiting…“ Jongin says and Sehun doesn’t miss it. He wants to shout, to cry, to hide. But because it’s not acceptable, he does not. He bears it all and puts on the most cheerful smile he can offer.

„And I will miss you…“

Jongin smiles too, but it’s not a happy smile that dances on his lips. This is it, the last few seconds with the person he loved. There’s no second chance and Sehun wished he could just die, but it was something he couldn’t have. Just like many other things, Jongin included. Sehun grinned even widely and broke down all over again just as he shouted his last words.

„Jongin, smile!“

And Jongin does.

The Heaven isn’t the same without Luhan, and one of the little things that Sehun knows is that it could never be again. Sehun still couldn’t cope with the fact that Luhan was completely gone. He spends most of the times drowning in depressions, asking himself why, imagining each and every if.  He was torn into countless invisible pieces that nothing could glue back together, ever. And when he looks back, searching for any kind of reassurance, Luhan isn‘t there anymore.

Jongin has no idea what’s wrong with him. He’s been having this odd feeling for some time now. It feels incomplete, like if a part of him was missing, but no matter how hard he tries, he cannot figure out what the reason is. Joonmyun keeps on asking but Jongin himself doesn’t know, and it’s frustrating. The feeling intensifies randomly, when he sits on the couch and watches a movie or simply when making dinner in the kitchen. It also gets stronger everytime he goes by a nearby Bubble Tea store. But he doesn’t drink it anymore, the feeling is almost unbearable when he does so. It starts with butterflies tingling in his stomach and ends up with a great feeling of emptiness, and he almost thinks he’s gone crazy. There’s a blank space in his being, and Jongin only knows that nothing he’s learned in medicine will be able to fill it.

As Sehun observes the last thing that’s precious to him, he sees it. He sees the way Jongin stops and stares, puzzled, everytime his subconscious mind remembers.  His conscious one doesn’t and Sehun can’t help but to think that this is the best way to be. For once, he didn’t cause any pain. And even though it was tearing Sehun from the inside, the last thing he wanted was Jongin looking for him helplessly and seeing him cry everynight to sleep. It was better like this, Jongin not having any memories of Sehun, and Sehun having too many memories of Jongin. So now, when Sehun watches from above, Jongin doesn’t know.

He sees a flash of light on the periphery, it announces another Angel’s arrival. Sehun recognizes Kyungsoo as the silhouette approaches him slowly. He closes his eyes, not wanting the Archangel to come any nearer. Kyungsoo stops by his side. He knows what was Sehun doing, but he doesn’t care nonetheless. They both stay in silence, because nothing was left to say.

„Luhan,“ Kyungsoo starts off and Sehun scowls. The name that brought back so many deep feelings,  painful memories, sequence of images he wished he could just easily erase. He still hasn’t got used to hearing his name. „He was a fool.“

Sehun could feel his anger building up not only because Kyungsoo was so shameless to bring this up, but also because he was right. Luhan sacrified himself for Sehun, for a person who never cared about Luhan enough. He deserved so much better and it was too late for Sehun to set it right. As he contemplated, his mind drown in nostalgia, it hits him. And it hits him hard. After all this time, he finally understands.

Luhan, Jongin and Sehun himself, he sees it all in Yixing.

The end.