~CHAPTER FIVE~

Jongin was said to spend another few weeks in the hospital for observation. Doctors did come to check on him, but the psychologist visited him more frequently. He knew it was because of his again experienced trauma. However, he didn’t say a word about the face. Not even to Sehun.
When speaking about Sehun, Sehun visited Jongin every single day. Sometimes he would bring a snack when Jongin complained about the nasty porridge Sehun once had to eat too, but most of the time he only laughed at Jongin. Something has changed about Sehun since the day Jongin got into an accident, but he couldn’t tell what it exactly was.

Sehun even found a part-time job so he could buy Jongin small stuff. It was hard at first since he had no identity papers, but after trying out several places he convinced one owner to hire him. It was rather advantageous for the employer since Sehun had no contract, which meant he could pay him any amount of salary and sack him anytime. No doubt his pretty face helped, too. When the brunet asked him why, he said he simply wanted to pay back all the money he had wasted on Sehun. It made Jongin laugh. He didn’t notice Sehun’s guiltiness when he once came home with the bunch of books that Sehun ordered Jongin to buy.

„How was at work today?“

Sehun lasted a few seconds until he replied. „I almost got fired.“ It came out of his mouth as if nothing happened and he then sipped on his Bubble Tea. Jongin choked on his own cup.

„Wait, didn’t you start working there a few days ago.“ He frowned in disbelief and Sehun simply shrugged. He did not look like someone who wanted to keep his job no matter what.

„There was a customer who complained about me.“ Sehun continued on sharing his almost sack. It was clearly not something he was ashamed of. „It turned out to be that dumb woman who couldn’t make up her mind about what to order. It took her at least five minutes.“

Jongin listened carefully, but still didn’t get it. He was either stupid as Sehun always says or he hasn’t heard the whole story yet. „And what did you do to make her complain?“

„It was not my fault, I was just being honest!“ Sehun was pouty while chewing on the fruity jelly and Jongin thought it was adorable. „After her order was finally done, she joked about herself being a bit slow. I just said that even a ninety years old pensioner walking across the street full of cars and lorries would be faster.“   

Jongin raised his eyebrows. Yeah, that sounded like something Sehun would do. „Oh, that was definitely not your fault.“

Sehun couldn’t miss the sarcasm in the latter’s tone. „You know what, go drink your Bubble Tea which I bought with my hard-earned money at work where I must suffer among the brainless.“

Jongin had an urge to ask Sehun about his actual workplace, but he knew that the latter wouldn’t give out the answer. Afterall, he had asked many times before and the latter was always being this mysterious. Sehun kept it as secret as possible. In the end, Jongin only chuckled.

„It’s not good for my health.“

„Doesn’t hurt once in a while,“ Sehun winked at Jongin, reminding him what he once said. Jongin snorted.
 

Jongin was worried. It had been three days since the last time Sehun visited him. He had texted Jongin that he was too busy to come the other day. Yesterday, the doctor received the same message again. He checked his phone. No new messages. Maybe he’s going to come today, Jongin thought as he wished it was true.

Jongin would be lying if he said he didn’t miss Sehun and all the stuff he did. Yes, he did miss Sehun’s insuls, too. Where could he be now? What is he doing? Did he eat lunch already? Is he going to come? Jongin had been thinking about Sehun a lot lately, more than usual, and Jongin was aware of the fact. 
A sound of the door opening disturbed Jongin’s thoughts. He immediately looked up, being full of expectations followed by disappointment, when another doctor stepped in. He sighed out loud, clearly expecting someone else.

„I’m glad to see you, too,“ said one of his colleagues laughed and Jongin apologized politely. „I’m here just to check up on you, but you have a visitor.“

Jongin’s eyes captured a person coming in through the door. He couldn’t be mistaken for someone else. Sehun. He stepped closer to Jongin’s bed and stood there wordlessly as one of the doctors was checking Jongin’s blood pressure. Jongin grinned at Sehun, but the blonde dodged the look and stared at the floor instead.

„Everything looks good, Jongin. I dare to say you might go home tomorrow.“ The man dressed all in white wiggled his eyebrows, and smiled at Sehun friendly before exiting the room.

„Where have you been, Sehun-ah?“ Jongin almost whined instantly after the door closed. Sehun offered an awkward smile and occupied the chair beside Jongin’s bed.

„Just a little busy.“

Jongin frowned slightly as he studied Sehun, his brows knitting and eyes narrowing. At first he thought Sehun’s weird behaviour was caused by presence of the third person, but Sehun acted the same way even after he was gone. There was heavy silence for a few seconds. „Is there anything wrong?“ His direct question made Sehun nervous. He didn’t expect that, but still managed to sound at least fine.

„No… Of course not.“ He lied and Jongin knew. Sehun, to avoid any further questions, opened his backpack and pulled out a neatly wrapped pack of fried chicken. The air was filled with the smell of it. He let out a funny ta-dah when handing it to Jongin. „Your favorite.“

„Oh God, you’re my savior!“ Jongin’s eyes twinkled at the sight of  his favorite food of all time. „They started feeding us with beans and sausages. I don’t know what’s nastier, if this or that infamous porridge.“ Both Jongin and Sehun laughed at the comment.

From that moment, everything seemed fine again. Sehun talked about his day at work (which Jongin didn’t find a tiny bit busy) and Jongin shared with Sehun some of the funny rumors about other doctors and nurses, thanks to which Sehun awarded him with more offensive names. Jongin also told Sehun about Yixing who commited suicide few day ago, this time successfully.
Sehun learned that Yixing was found a few months ago in his bedroom with a stomach full of sleeping pills. He was transported to hospital immediately and fortunately, it wasn’t too late. Later they found out that Yixing’s fiancee died in an accident not so long ago, which was most likely his motive. Jongin once heard Yixing saying that he couldn’t take it anymore. Sehun still didn’t understand, but cringed anyway, and it took Jongin a good amount of time to cheer Sehun up again.

 „Will you come for me tomorrow?“

Sehun stunned at this innocent question of Jongin’s and bit his lower lip. This was so hard. „I don’t know. I might be a little busy, so don’t wait for me.“ He offered Jongin another fake smile and Jongin didn’t question it. He ruffled Sehun’s hair.

„Okay.“

…

Right after closing the door of Jongin’s apartment, Sehun broke down. He was torn. Sehun wasn’t injured, yet it hurt so much. But he must have went to see him, at least once. Sehun hated the new feeling of impotence and despair, and he wasn’t sure if he was sane anymore. He grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil. When writing, Sehun learned one thing. This kind of pain was way worse than the one he exprienced in the hospital. 

„I must go now,“ Sehun said, getting up from the chair. Jongin looked concerned, but didn’t ask. Sehun wouldn’t be honest anyway.

„See you tomorrow then?“

„Yeah, see you tomorrow…“ Sehun trailed off, his eyes darkening, and the brunet grinned widely at him. Sehun smiled back, but Jongin noticed how sad it looked. 

Sehun was so bad. Awful. He felt like the worst creature in the whole Universe. Guilt was eating him from the inside, but the feeling of fear was way greater. It was his fault, and back in his mind he knew this day would came, sooner or later. He has already decided. It was not too late yet.
 

It was late afternoon, the Sun creating astonishing crimson alpenglow. Jongin was on his way home. His car was broken since the accident, so he was forced to use public transport. Sehun’s weird behaviour still bothered his mind, since Sehun appeared in his room until this moment. Jongin didn’t know what was going on, but he definitely knew he didn’t like it.

Jongin stopped by at the nearby Pizza Go Home. He ordered two pizzas, with tuna and the other one with spicy salamy. Soon, a big square box with huge logo on top was handed to him. It was warm from the pizzas inside and it smelled real good. Sehun will be surprised, he thought, smiling.
The apartment was rather quiet when Jongin stepped in. He didn’t see the latter’s shoes and jacket, which meant Sehun wasn’t home yet. Jongin took off his winter coat and shoes. He even brought some movies to watch with Sehun tonight, a movie marathon, basically. Jongin smiled and headed to kitchen to put the pizzas away. His eyes spotted a strange note on the fridge.

His hand dropped the box on the floor. The handwriting couldn’t be mistaken.

In a minute, Jongin stormed out into Sehun’s bedroom. The bed was made (which Sehun never did), numerous books still lying on the bookshelves, clothes folded neatly in the wardrobe. Everything Jongin had bought for Sehun was there.
Jongin tried to dial Sehun’s phone number, but only a robotic voice responsed. The user’s phone was either unavaiable or shut off. He tried again. „No…No!“ The brunet found himself his hair in despair. He was confused, so confused.

And in another minute, Jongin was out of his apartment.

…

Hi, Jongin.

I won’t come home today. I won’t come tomorrow and the day after tomorrow, too.
I’m sorry for the lies, and I’m grateful for everything. I will never be able to pay you back.

Don’t look for me.
Sehun