「applicant list 」
「PROJECT AQUARIUS - sm entertainment 」 [apply open!]
character name
stage name
mentor
love interest
status
ABOUT : hi guys, so this is the review page. i'm going to work on placing all the previously written reviews by these few days. before then, ya. anyway, we're using three strikes system. for those who are not familiar, you are only given three chances before your character is rejected. as for statuses, there are four different kind.
chosen — congratulations, your character is part of sm entertainment's new girl group.
accepted — your character's application is accepted
pending — your application hasn't been read through yet.
rejected — self-explanatory.
accepted — your character's application is accepted
pending — your application hasn't been read through yet.
rejected — self-explanatory.
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park hyerin
Hyerin
taeyeon
kim myungsoo
chosen
ABOUT : this is infi's character.
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yoon hyunjae
bree
hyoyeon
min yoongi
status
ABOUT : this is my character.
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oiwa yoshiko
yoshi
jessica
baek daehyun
accepted
author's note : your character has been accepted. thank you for applying!
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seol eunjoo
joo
jessica
tao
accepted
ABOUT : your character has been accepted. thank you for applying.
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soo yeonha
michiyo
sooyoung
alex zhang
accepted
ABOUT : your character has been accepted. thank you for applying!
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kim miyoung
MIYOUNG
seohyun
zelo
mistakes
INFI : hi, ali! sorry for my super late response, and thank you for applying here. well, i'm not gonna write again your mistakes because dana already mentioned it below. so i'lljust wait unti you fixed it and give my full review.
DANA: hi ali, thanks for applying. i apologise for this late review. anyway, moving on. okay, so personality. you have managed to hit two paragraphs but when reading the personality, i feel like i don't really know miyoung at all. there's no actual personality and i believe that most of what you have described is applicable for 80% of teenage girls these days. don't get me wrong: the two paragraphs are difficult to squeeze out. but there's no concrete flaws or personality at all. get yourself a concrete set of personality traits to work on, and if you have any problems - feel free to pm either me or infi.
as for her background, everything was okay until you mentioned that her classmates spoke to her and introduced kpop to her. i mean, you mentioned in the background that she is too shy and that prevented her from talking to her classmates. of course, we don't really know what is going through her classmate's head but why would they approach a quiet girl who came from america when they can just socialize within their own group? just understand that kpop is rather big in korea and she would have already have heard about kpop by now - on the tv, over the radio.
her likes and habits are fine. i just want to go through her dislikes, hobbies and trivias. for her dislikes, i want to point out thta what i'm looking for are specific things miyoung seems to dislike. no one likes rude & annoying people and being stuck with no progress are irritating, yes. but they also happen to be generic stuff that most people happen to hate as well.
as for her hobbies, it contradicts with her dislikes. if miyoung hates sports, why would she swim as a hobby? a hobby is something that you enjoy doing. and if miyoung hates sports, why would she swim for enjoyment? as for her trivias, you mentioned that miyoung is a fast runner. she's also good at archery and swimming. you can keep being a fast runner and swimming. just want to point out that back when i was 10, i was the fastest runner in class because i was the tallest. now, i am the shortest and i can't run to save my life. as for archery - i'm not saying that its a bad hobby to have. but being from a typical asian family, i don't even have the chance to actually learn how to mess around a bow. where did she learn it from? if she doesn't have an interest in sports, and her family doesn't have an interest in anything asides from her studies, why would they get her to learn it? basically, there are a lot of loopholes. they might be the size of a single bacteria but i can still seek it out so ya.
as for three, you mentioned that she doesn't like it when people think she is useless. i can understand where you are coming from but as i have mentioned, it is the same for everyone. and plus, its not that trivial if you think about it.
I am not going to pinpoint mistakes regarding seohyun's section since there isn't much for me to pinpoint on. unless, you are intending to complete the new application. but in terms of position, chorong is only a vocalist. i think i have only said this a couple of times but it would be great if you could bump it up to a lead vocalist that is still weak in nature. an example would be namjoo from apink. as for her dancing twin, its a little strong. naeun is rather strong for a dancer so change that.
as for love interest: i can see that you have a set trait to work with. as compared to miyoung, the personality is definitely less vague. its still a little rough around the sides. to give an example: how is he stubborn, why is he stubborn? hopefully, this would help you expand on his personality. i really liked the interactions. but how they met? never mind the fact that it is cliche, it is also rather unrealistic. i mean, really, this is zelo from BAP - who happens to be one of the biggest rookie in kpop. and as i mentioned, kpop is part of korea's pop culture. so i can see that your character don't know much about BAP but i do know that one, your character would have heard about BAP. two, she would also know about kpop.
so i rushed through this review at four in the morning. as long as you fixed your application, you are good to go. thank you for applying and i hope i wasn't too harsh.
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bang minhee
MINT
tiffany
jackson
mistakes
INFI : hi there~ thank you for applying. okay, i believe you noticed about your mistakes (because you set your application in private mode) and i'm not gonna talk much here since i believe dana already said anything that should be fixed (yeah, she's more competent from me in this section). soyeah, i'm gonna talk later when you fixed all things.
DANA : hi, thank you for applying. if you didn't bother reading the huge wall of text, scroll down to see the mistakes.
okay, so i only have one problem for basics. if you checked the cheatsheet, you would know that age range is between 16/17 to 21 years old. minhee is a little too old. as for the second section. this is more of an concern than anything - you are aware than jackson is actually 4cm shorter than her right? i'm not going to force you to change it though, i'm just letting you know. also, i did ask for at least five links on her style. that, with the fact that you didn't elaborate much on what exactly minhee likes to wear - i can't really picture much of her style. you can skip out on the writing, but do provide some links at least.
personality and background was rather messy - i'm not going to go into details since i can work with what i have. you might want to look at it after a while and try to fix the inconsistencies etc. as for misc characters, aside from their name, age and occupation - i also want to find out their personality and interactions with minhee in the story. that way, i know what their role in the story would be. likewise for best friends, friends and family - unless they are not going to play a big part in minhee's life, then that's fine. but for misc characters, at least give a one-liner summary of their personality and interactions.
noona-dongsaeng relationships are really not my thing so that should be self-explanatory. i'm going to keep jackson there though since you made a mistake with minhee's age. but ya, either bump it down so they are a few months younger or i'll just use kevin as the love interest.just a slight observation here: both jackson and baekhyun don't really have much of a personality. i did say that both need to have their fair share of flaws and i can work with that. also, i mentioned this in the cheatsheet - whoever is already taken in real life is also taken in the story. that being said, baekhyun and taeyeon are technically dating in the story. you can keep baekhyun - just realise that the interactions will be changed accordingly.
last thing - i did mentioned in the updates that i need to know tiffany's personality. so yes, at least write something. as for interactions - i want to know how tiffany and minhee interact. prior knowledge is fine, but i do need to know how their interaction during their training and the information you provided is rather limited.
also, you mentioned that your character was trainees with jackson before their debut. you do realise that jackson has been scouted by jyp entertainment and did not get transferred to another company.
mistakes:
minhee is too old - change her to at least 21 according to cheatsheet
at least five links for style
provide at least a one-line personality & interaction for misc characters
write tiffany's personality out - this was already mentioned in updates
at least five links for style
provide at least a one-line personality & interaction for misc characters
write tiffany's personality out - this was already mentioned in updates
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Song Hyunjoo
hyunjoo
Yoona
chen
mistakes
INFI : hi, jinhee! thank you for applying. so, i see that you also applied in my other applyfic, wow, thank you so much /cough/. okay, let's see.
i'm so sleepy now, so i might not see all things, so i'll go generally. okay, your app is neat, and i like that. i think i have no problem with the basic section. but background part. in the paragraph you stated that hyunjoo and her brother auditioned in some companies such as yg and cube, but none of them accepted the twins. so how could she trained at cube for a year if they never accepted them. background part and training background part it's not synchron to each other.
and they way sm scouted her. if it was because of a singing competition and won a first place, then she would end up as a main vocalist, or at least lead vocalist. but character is supposed to be a lead dancer.
and they way sm scouted her. if it was because of a singing competition and won a first place, then she would end up as a main vocalist, or at least lead vocalist. but character is supposed to be a lead dancer.
love interest part. i saw something that my mind couldn't accept. well, normally in the company, for duet or something like that, they would paired trainees with same level ability. i mean, chen is a main vocal, and hyunjoo is just a vocalist, which mean their ability in singing is different. okay, maybe there's duet between vocalist and rapper, but hyunjoo is not even a rapper. you get what i mean?
oh, and please delete the guideline in the interaction part.
oh, and please delete the guideline in the interaction part.
and now about her mentor. the thing that i couldn't accept is how yoona discovered her. the aquarius project is a new project that just started after the meeting between taeyeon and sm's ceo when yoona and lee seunggi relationship was about to float, which is this early this year. so how come yoona already asked hyunjoo to be her pupil not long after hyunjoo first came into sm?
oh, and i have a question about her brother hyunjae. if hyunjoo made it into sm through a singing competition, how did her brother do to get into sm? because you say she joined the competition without her brother.
i think that's all i can say right now. sorry if i may sounds harsh (because i'm so sleepy, i can't think straightly). please fix your application, and dana probably will found another thing to discuss about your application. okay, bye!
DANA : hi, thank you for applying. its actually rather early in the morning rn and my brain is actually working better than expected so here's the review.
hyunjoo's basics and appearances are mostly fine: i don't have much of a complaint. however, what i do have a problem with is how the traits don't seem to make sense. you seem to have gotten the definition of inflexible wrong - inflexibility is the unwillingness to change, not a need to procrastinate. furthermore, perfectionists wouldn't ever forget deadlines: that directly goes against the principle of perfection. that being said, you can keep your original personality there. after all, it exceeded the expectations required for length and hyunjoo has a personality that i can work with. btw, i hate to pinpoint your trivias but her style preferences (converses & snapbacks) belong to the style section.
reading through the background, i have a couple of questions. why did their father stop receiving calls from the chinese branch of the company he was working for? also, i feel there are a bunch of inconsistencies in hyunjoo's background. if their dad spent so much time away from the twins, i don't see why the twins would be willing to learn anything from him. also, i don't think that he actually has the time to teach them anything. there are other points brought up by infi that i will not bring up but she makes a legit point.
to be frank, i don't think couple assignments come often as one would expect. if what you mean is monthly evaluations, you usually do it in a group or by yourself. even when you do it in a group, its usually between members of the same . that being said, most monthly evaluations have their trainees do it by themselves since you can't always depend on your members. that, and what my author said about that their abilities not being on par.
as what infi has stated, why did she spent a year with cube? she wasn't accepted. also, i think that it would be helpful to understand that trainees are bound to their company by contract (which cost a whole lot of money if broken). so i don't think its possible for hyunjoo and hyunjae to leave cube just because it didn't fit their style. i am cube-bias and i'm not afraid to say they don't actually have a style - only their groups have their styles and even their groups have nothing much in common.
so ya, that's it. look through the review to see what needs to be fixed and let us know through the comments section of the story thread so that we can check. thank you for applying.
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song haeun
hAeun
Yoona
kwon young deuk
mistakes
INFI : hello there! okay, since dana already point out all your mistakes (and it's seems like i couldn't find anything else, I'll just remains quiet until you fix all things. alright. please fix it.
DANA : hi, thank you for applying. so firstly, there are some errors. one, her haeun's chinese name is actually song xiaen, not shou huanyue. next, i'm not too sure about where haeun's hometown is. in haeun's background, you mentioned that she spent her childhood in LA but you stated that she was raised in incheon at her background; kindly clarify.
i would also appreciate if you could look for another ulzzang since Dasom and Hanuel are really old ulzzangs with little quality photos. use this to help you. moving on, i understand that a lot of trainees aren't really in the healthy range but it would be appreciated if haeun's bmi would at least be 17. use this to help you.
i'm going to be honest here: haeun's personality is really underdeveloped. there are 13 personality traits you associated with haeun's personality but none are developed enough - i didn't even know that she was friendly until i checked the traits assigned to her. some of the things elaborated upon also weren't assigned on her personality - please check and delete traits accordingly or expand more on her personality. i'm not really bothered by most of her trivias but if she has dimples - they belong in the apperance section. the same goes for her rumor that she was dating seungri.
her background - i think i mentioned this before. sob stories are fine, but they do have to be realistic. her background really glossed over a lot of details in haeun's life. what accident did her brother suffer from? because vocal chords don't usually get damaged in an accident. also, i'm sure that YG has two dance crews - hi tech and crazy. last time i checked, hi tech was exclusively for guys. so by right, haeun should be in crazy.
youngdeuk's personality and all - i need to know how he is usually like, not when he is with haeun and all (which is basically what you are describing to me). aside from that, i don't think that yg actually holds open audition in the us so that's that.
also, being a backup dancer is not like being a trainee - it is an actual job. so if your character is a backup dancer for an exclusive crew that cannot actually dance, i don't see why yg would accept her into part of the crew to begin with. that aside, soyou is too strong of a singing twin seeing as your character's position would only be a vocalist.
so yes, that's it. look through the review for errors and talk to us if you need assistance with anything. once again, thank you for applying.
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