This might not satisfy your craving feels but you judge it yourself. Haha. Since there are too many JeTi angst-y fics nowadays, I tried to create a diversion. Have fun reading. :)

As I look over the breathtaking sight of Seoul’s night life, I can’t help but break into a smile.

I can see the bright lights in the busy city of Seoul.

Cars passing by the highways and the bridge.

People bustling about like tiny working ants.

The calm image of the river just below the bridge.

The park where I often see couples holding hands and just enjoying each other’s company at night.

The view in the balcony is absolutely spectacular.

I often go here to let my mind off of things I shouldn’t really be worrying about at the moment.

If it was a few years, months or days ago, I might as well care about the situation at hand.

But now, I’m too tired.

Too tired of hearing facts that would only shatter my heart more.

I don’t even know if my heart still has the capacity to be shattered when it’s already as good as dust itself.

I let out a bitter chuckle.

“Here’s to my very up life.”

I lifted both my hands up in the air as a sign of surrender.

I slowly close my eyes and let the wind caress my already shivering cheeks.

“Stupid heart.”

A lone tear travelled its way down my cheek.

“I should’ve listened to my brain in the first place.”

I put my hands down and let my right hand clutch over my heart.

“Why are you still beating when I don’t even have the reason to live anymore?”

Silence.

Of course no one would answer my question.

I’m the only person who can answer it.

Or maybe one of the two people who can.

I thought I’ve only given half of my heart.

I guess I gave that person all of my heart without even noticing it.

“Will I ever be able to love again?”

The question was left unanswered as I turned my back and slowly retreated to my not-so silent sanctuary.

- - -

“Rise and shine, sleepy head.” A hand gave my shoulder a light push.

I groaned.

“Stop groaning, that won’t do. Get up now or I’ll shove a cucumber down your throat.”

I bolted up and opened my eyes as fast as I can to glare at the person who gave me a very life threatening statement.

“Funny how you’re like Hitler every morning.” I gave the intruder a bored look.

“Huh. Interesting that your eyes are swollen again.”

“Shut up.”

“Is that how you greet me now? Well, good morning to you too, Sica.” The annoying intruder beamed at me.

“A bad morning to you.”

“You could’ve atleast made the mood lighter you know.”

“Thanks but no thanks. I’ve had enough of fake happy moments, Taeng.”

“No comment.” The kid leader sat beside me on the bed.

We let the silence take over the confinement of my room.

Until Taeyeon decided to speak up.

“How are you coping up?”

“You really want to know?”

She gave me a look of concern.

I heaved a sigh.

“It feels like the world is weighing down on me.”

She stayed silent and I got this as a signal for me to continue on speaking my heart out.

“It suffocates me, staying in this dorm. I don’t feel like breathing the same air…”

“I understand.”

“Do you really? You’ve never been through this before. You and Sunny are as happy as a married couple in their honeymoon stage.”

She let out a soft chuckle.

“It isn’t always fun and games with us too, Sica. There are times, a lot of times, when we fight.”

“That’s normal for a married couple.” I shrugged my shoulders.

“It’s hard to give you advices when you’re being sarcastic.”

“I’m not being sarcastic, I’m just being myself.”

“I can see that.”

And silence took over us once again.

“If you really are being yourself then just cry.” She patted her shoulder and tenderly placed my head on it.

“Just cry. I promised that I’ll always be here when you need a shoulder to cry on.”

“Oh Taeyeon. Why do you always remind me so much of her?” The tears that I’ve been planning to hold back the whole day immediately spilled out of my still swollen eyes. “Her promises… they’re meant to be broken. And for some reason, those untimely promises also broke me in the process.”

“I – I’m sorry.” She tried to comfort me by patting my back with her left hand that led us to an almost hugging position.

“O – Oh. Am I interrupting something?” A very familiar voice pierced through the state of calm I was in; in Taeyeon’s arms.

I can feel Taeyeon shake her head as I buried my head more on her neck.

“I just came in to tell you guys that breakfast is ready. Sunny told me to fetch you two since we’re the only one's here.” Out came a muffled explanation.

“Yuri, Sooyoung, and Yoona are filming. Seohyun’s got some errands to do. Where’s Hyoyeon, then?” Taeyeon asked while she continued to pat my back.

“Sunny told me she went out for a jog.”

“Okay.” Taeyeon cut the conversation short.

“So…”

“Yes? Anything more that you’d like to say, Fany-ah?” Taeyeon said in a calm voice.

“Uh, just, let’s go downstairs together?” I can hear Tiffany’s muttered request through Taeyeon’s hair that was shielding my face from the rest of the world.

I can feel Taeyeon smiling, “You better go first. We’ll be there in a while.”

“Okay.” I can hear the door squeaked as Tiffany held on the door knob. “Jessi?”

Dammit.

“Hmm?” I tried to muster out a slightly quivering reply.

“Good morning.” I knew she was smiling but I can’t bear to see that smile. Not now, not ever maybe.

I hummed a muffled reply.

“See you two in a while.” And then I heard the closing of the door.

“That wasn’t so bad after all, eh?” Taeyeon gently pushed me forward just for me to see her tender smile.

I didn’t know what to feel or what to say so I just slightly nodded.

“Can you handle it?” She asked yet again. I’ve been hearing that line ever since my little piece of forever was destroyed.

“Handle the deterioration of my shattered heart? I don’t know.” I groaned.

“Oh, Sica.” The kid leader patted my head. “You’re a tough cookie, that I’m sure of. So why waver now?”

“You tell me, Taeng. Why do I have to waver now?” I managed to let out a small smile with my still teary eyes.

“It hurts me to see you so… broken. I’m sure the girls are worried of you as well.” She slightly pouted.

“I’m as good as a goner by the next time you all come here and hug me to death.” I chuckled while wiping the tears that were running through my cheeks.

“I know it’s a sensitive topic and I have no rights to meddle in your own business but,” She hesitated for a second. “Why don’t you try talking things out with Fany? I’m sure she’ll be more than glad to explain the circumstances.”

“Why do I feel like you’re hiding things from me?” I raised a curious brow at her.

“Maybe I am.” She gave me a smile that has a hidden message into it.

“And you’re happy though I’m mentally, physically, psychologically, and emotionally breaking down?”

“Not really. I hate seeing anyone of my girls cry. But really, I think there are no reasons for you to continue on being emotionally unstable.”

“You make it sound like I have a serious case of a psychological disorder, Taeng.” I grunted.

“Psychologist Taeng thinks that as a prescription, you should start prancing around the dorm and talk to the girl who you think,” She stared at me. “Broke your fragile heart.”

“Don’t pull off the delusional surfer kind of advices to me now because we both know that – ”

I felt a knuckle hit my head before I can even finish my ranting.

“For Nameko’s sake, Sooyeon. Will you just listen to Taeyeon already?” The bed sank down a bit due to the newly added weight.

“And so, dandyu’s currently teaming up on me. That’s not fair.”

“I love her, she loves me. It’s fair enough that I side with my girl.” Sunny crawled her way between Taeyeon and me and settled on the unoccupied tiny space.

“Augh. I think I’m going to have diabetes.” I faked a puking face.

When no one responded, I look to their side of the bed and exhaled.

“No making out on my bed please. This is a very sacred place.” I tried to pull the two apart.

“No fair!” Taeyeon whined like a kid.

“Huh. A sacred place for you and Tiffany to make out if I’m not mistaken.” Sunny grinned.

“…”

“I think you just let all hell loose, bunny.”

“I think I just did.”

I glared at them both and chased them out of my room with my flailing hands.

They hurriedly opened the door but when I was about to chase them further, I stumbled.

I felt something soft on my lips.

A familiar kind of soft.

A very familiar set of soft lips.

My eyes widened in realization.

I tried to push myself up and rid myself from the girl who was once mine.

But she held on my wrists and to my surprise, with one quick motion, she was on top of me.

“Where are you going?” She asked with her trademark sloppy grin.

“Let me go.”

“I have no plans to let you go.” I can sense that there was something more to what she’d said but this isn’t right.

Not when she’s with someone else already.

“You have to let me go.” I let out a muffled reply.

“Give me a good explanation before I do so.” She looked me in the eyes and at that moment, I knew that she can see right through me.

“I just want to see you happy. Isn’t that enough reason for you to let me go?”

“Doing what you’ve just said won’t make me happy.”

“Then what?”

“Stay by my side and don’t ever leave me, Jessi.”

“But you’re with him…”

“Oh that.” She let out a soft laugh.

“It isn’t something to laugh about, Stephanie.” I glared at her.

“What if I tell you that it is?” She hovered above me, our lips almost touching.

“You can’t fool me.”

“But I have no intentions to fool you.”

“Why are you doing this? Stop it. I don’t wanna get hurt anymore.” I looked at the ceiling to avoid her piercing gaze.

“If you don’t want to get hurt anymore then you have to listen to what I’m about to say.” She loosened her grip on my wrists and slid both of her hands with mine.

I hesitated for a second.

“So?” She raised her brows.

“Shoot it.”

“I’m still in love with you.” What?!

“But you’re – ”

“Shush. We’re not together, silly.” WHAT?!

“H-how – But our company, his company confirmed it!”

“Have you forgotten that Khun and I are BFFs?”

“I – ” forgot

“Figures. You let your emotions take over.” She scrunched up her nose.

“I thought…” My voice trailed off.

“That I was cheating on you? For the past four months, or the past four years, as our fans say it.” She chuckled. “Wow that’s a long time. Do I look like a cheater to you?”

“Not really…”

“Yet you’re in doubt.”

“You can’t blame me. I thought every single thing was true.” I can feel my eyes getting watery again.

“You had your doubts and yet, you didn’t try to ask me about the issue.”

“It broke me… You broke me.” Tears were gushing down my face as I said it.

“I would never ever hurt you. Not in a million years, not for an eternity.” She kissed my tears away.

“But you already did…”

“I’m sorry, princess.” She buried her face in the nook of my neck.

“My greatest fear is losing you. When I heard of the news it became my biggest downfall, I thought our love was a tragedy and now here you are, being my best remedy.” I confessed.

She mumbled words that I can’t quite comprehend.

“Hmm? I didn’t quite catch what you’ve said, Miyoung-ah.”

She looked up and kneeled down, trapping my body between her legs. Her hands were just above my head.

She beamed at me and said, “And you are my only exception.”

I can feel my face heat up with the sudden confession.

I can feel her hot breath tickling the space between my nose and upper lip.

As we were about to kiss, a voice halted our moment.

“Woah woah woah. So yeah, you’ve sorted everything out but no making out on the carpet. Move it people! Do it in one of your sacred places!” The sweaty girl was still covering her eyes. “Geez, I just got home from a tiring jog and the first thing I see is Hwang hovering over poor Jung.”

“Dammit Hyo! I’m not !” Tiffany tried to defend herself as she helped me out on getting up the carpeted floor.

“Ok, ok. You’re just…”

“Just what?”

“Needy!” Hyoyeon shouted as she bolted away into her room.

 “I swear she’s gonna get it from me someday.”

- - -

“So our company and his company teamed-up for this? AND the girls knew about this?” I asked again.

“For the,” she back tracked and continued, “18th time, Jessi, yes.”

Stupid Taeyeon for making me cry when in fact... Oh never mind. I'll get her later.

“And you all planned this because?”

“It’s because the press has thousands of photos of Khun and I together when we went out that one time. And both our companies think that it would be better to confirm it. Think of it as a do-or-die situation. Once they confirmed it, no further follow up questions would be asked and both parties would have atleast a little pride and integrity left.”

“The perks of being a celebrity. So much for privacy.” I slowly lied down on my bed.

“We chose this path ourselves so there really is nothing that we can do about it.” She lied down beside me as well.

“You’re probably right.” I closed my eyes and listened to the steady beating of our hearts.

“Jessi?”

“Hmm?”

“Is it okay with you? The whole situation, I mean.” I rolled to my side and saw her playing with her fingers.

“I endured quite a lot for the last couple of days so I guess now that I know what the real deal is then, I’ll just go with the flow. It’s not like you would go out with him every single time, right?” I asked.

“I only intend on going out with you but the press might smell something fishy that’s why we’re gonna keep up with the act. A few dates here and there.”

Silence took over the room.

I got goose bumps all over my body as she traced her fingers up and down my right arm.

“I love you so much that I’m willing to sacrifice myself and risk everything just to keep you safe.” Came a sudden confession from the person I love.

“You need not go that far. As long as you’re here with me, as long as you’re near me, I’m as good as perfect.”

“Redundancy, Jessi.” She chuckled.

“Stop tracing your fingers on my arm, it tickles!”

“Sometimes I wonder why I fell in love with you when eventually you’re such a whiny little arse.” She moved closer and rested her chin on my chest.

“I’m naturally attractive.”

“That explains why cupid struck an arrow on me when I first saw you.”

“Cheesy.”

“Greasy.”

“.”

“Whiny.”

“Needy.”

“The only person I need is you.”

“Shut up, Hwang.”

“I know you love it, whiny.”

“You’re just trying to get in my pants.”

“You’re wearing shorts though.”

“Get your hands off my thighs, !”

“…”

“…”

“Ah – Aaahn dammit.”

“Stepho scores~” She chanted while she was undressing me.

“I hate you.”

“Oh baby, you’re my one and only love.”

Two words: EPIC FAIL. *creys in a corner and sniffs*

The plot didn't turn up the way I want it to be. Umm, a bit. Sorry if it's quite epic and a fail, my mind's not functioning well today. I have... girls know what I mean. I'm hurting like hell! ;~; But I promised you guys that I'll update soon enough so the shot got rushed and this was the result. For the first time, I'm speechless. I don't know what to say anymore; fail. OTL

I tried. ;u; I don't know when I'll be back again. Let's all continue to surf the JeTidal wave~ <3 I have no plans of leaving this ship. Let's go on forever and more. ;>

Yeah, yeah. Your comments are very well appreciated, I'll be waiting for your feed backs! Thanks for the subbies and upvotes too. :3

Tell next time, fellow surfers! \o/

~ XOXO