What is Love?

It’s amazing what sleeping next to another person really feels like. The warmth of their body heat can be sweltering. To the point that your own body is inexplicably drenched in sweat. So your first instinct is to push that heat away, because it’s overwhelming and never-ending. That is, until the liquid that has collected upon your skin cools and you’re suddenly so chilled to the bone that your fingers wind around a broad back and your feet curl in between long legs. And essentially it’s a cycle, a constant push and pull, always looking for comfort in an uncomfortable situation.

It’s a lot like love.

Not that Taemin knows much about the subject, he’s never be in love before. But do you have to actually experience something to truly be able to understand it?

Taemin rolls on to his side, the uncomfortable spring mattress creaking under his shift in weight, and sees the empty space beside him. He trails a finger over the cold and rough sheets of the bed, outlining the figure of a body that has been long since imprinted into the mattress pad. He doesn’t know how many minutes have passed since he’s been simply laying in bed, lost in thought, but he sits up when the door to the bathroom opens and the light from the bathroom window shines into his sleepy eyes.

“You finally up? Come on, get ready,” Keys says, ruffling his wet hair with a towel as he exits the bathroom and moves to stand in front of a sleepy Taemin.

Taemin pouts and lets his body sway back and fall into the springy mattress below. “Can’t I just hang out with you all day?”

Key sighs as he looks at his cousin, whom he found sleeping outside his apartment door around 3AM the night before. “No, you can’t. I have a date. And I’d appreciate a phone call the next time you’re going to be staying over.”

“Sorry.” Taemin laughs. “I keep forgetting your phone number.”

“What?!” Key gapes and throws his damp towel at Taemin. “I’ve known you your entire life and you’ve never saved it in your phone?”

Taemin chuckles, tossing the towel right back at Key. “You’re the one who always calls me.”

Key purses his lips and gives the younger boy a look. “Well, maybe I won’t anymore,” He says and sulks with his arms crossed over his chest. He lets out a breath and looks back at Taemin, all messy haired and wrapped in the blankets like a small child. “But seriously Tae, this is a bad neighborhood. Don’t just wait outside the door like that. Call me and I’ll come home early,” He says and snatches the sheets away from the daydreaming boy.

Taemin sits up, trying to grab back at the retreating sheets, but Key bundles them up in his hands and holds them captive.

“Get your up and get dressed.”

Taemin huffs as he leans back on his arms. He observes his cousin for a beat until his eyes dance mischievously. “Does this mean I get to raid your closet?”

Key throws his head back. “Hah! You wish. I’ll select your outfit. Go get in the shower. Now!”

Taemin smiles and nods as he pads his way from the bed to the bathroom in only his underwear and a pair of socks. He pushes open the door, but when his hand comes in contact with the metal of the knob, he flinches back.

“Ouch!” He cries.

“What?”

Taemin scrunches his face in pain as he holds his injured hand. “It shocked me!”

Key rolls his eyes. “You’ll live, now go on, your skinny is making me jealous.” Key responds as he scans his closet for the least expensive items to let Taemin borrow for the day.

Taemin pouts and proceeds on into the bathroom. He muses that his cousin’s bed isn’t all that comfortable and the apartment’s definitely due for a remodel, but it’s clean and tidy, so Taemin can’t complain. He waits for the water to turn hot before slipping out of his briefs and socks. The heat of the water washes away the sweat from last night, but it also makes his scent fade.

Jongin’s scent, that is.

Taemin smiles dreamily at the memory. When they fell asleep on the prop bed in the practice room, they woke up a couple hours later to Jongin’s preset alarm on his phone. All Taemin could remember were the heavy legs draped over his, the strong arms that cradled his head, and that scent of musky, masculine sweat that wafted from Jongin. It’s like the boy didn’t even need cologne or anything. He seemed to have a naturally appealing smell. Or at least, it appealed to Taemin. Very much so.

But Taemin was brought out of his thoughts when the shower curtain parted slightly and Key poked his head in. “Should I be expecting you later or are you going home tonight?”

Taemin froze. “Um . . . i’m not sure yet,” He replied and quickly rinsed his hair. He stepped out of the shower a minute later and started drying off while Key presented him with a pair of distressed blue jeans and a screen printed Tee, all designer but not as fancy as his other items. And just in case you were wondering, yes, Key even let Taemin borrow a fresh pair of undies.

Taemin dressed quickly and thought aloud. “Mmm . . . I don’t have to work and Jongin said we should rest today, so no dance practice.”

“Oh? Speaking of Mr. Dark and Dangerous . . . you were mumbling his name in your sleep last night.” Key teased as he combed his hair in the bedroom mirror.

Taemin gaped and blushed. “Did not!” He shot back. "And he's beautiful and deadly not dark and dangerous!"

“Taeminnie’s in loooooveeee~” Key cooed, continuing to tease the cute younger.

Taemin pouts as he watches Key’s reflection in the mirror. “Well how would I know?”

“How would you know what?”

“How would I know if I was in love or not? Do you fall in love when you're attracted to someone?”

Key laughs. “Well sure, some people. But attraction isn’t love, it’s lust. There’s a difference.”

Taemin sits on the bed and crosses his legs. “What’s the difference?”

Key pauses and eyes the younger through the mirror. He turns suddenly and joins him on the bed. “I think . . . when you love someone, you’ll do anything for them. Even if it means sacrificing something else in the process.”

“Whoa.” Taemin says, eyes wide and head nodding. It sounded a little too deep. A little too complicated.

“But you can’t love someone properly until you learn to love yourself first.” Key warns. “I learned that the hard way.”

Taemin chuckles. “That sounds hard to believe.”

“What?”

“That you would need to learn how to love yourself. I don’t think I’ve met anyone more in love with themselves than you . . . well aside from Jonghyun probably.”

Key laughs but studies Taemin seriously. “Do you really think you’re falling in love with him?”

Taemin laughs and shrugs. “It doesn’t really matter does it? I mean being in love has to involve two people, right?”

“Well . . . he’s attracted to you. That’s a start.”

Taemin shakes his head as his eyes glaze a little. “He’s . . . attracted to my dancing, to . . . my face, my hair . . . he’s not attracted to me, me.” Taemin says pointing at himself.

Key shakes his head and sighs. Taemin’s always been blind to certain things around him, mainly himself, but Key knows from experience that sometimes people need to find their own way. That no matter how much you tell someone they’re good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, they’ll never believe you. Not until they’re ready. And he’ll be there for Taemin, until he’s ready.

Key reaches out and touches Taemin’s cheek softly, always envious of the soft, chubbiness that has yet to thin out. “I think, the more he gets to know you . . . he’ll either fall madly in love with you, or he’ll want to rip his hair out.”

Taemin looks down and smiles sadly.

Or he’ll hate me.

Is the other option Key failed to say out loud. But Taemin’s practical. He’s not disillusioned to these possibilities.

“Well anyway," Taemin shrugs lightly, “. . . it’s been awhile since I’ve had a free schedule. I don’t even know what to do with myself,” Taemin says, trying to change the subject and to rid himself of this strange fog he suddenly feels surrounding him.

Key’s hand trails away from Taemin’s face. “Well, what did you do before?”

Taemin thinks about it a second and then brightens instantly. “Hey that’s right! I haven’t been to the dance club in a while.”

“Oh right, what did you do with the prize money from last time?”

Taemin falters. “Oh, I . . . I gave some to my mom to help out with the bills.”

Key frowns. “Are you guys having money problems again?”

“Nah, not really. I mean, no more than normal.”

“Your dad’s still working, right?”

Taemin’s brow furrows. “I don’t know. I don’t know what he does.”

“He’s not-“

“Anyway, it’s fine." Taemin cuts in. "I still have some money left over and hey