un·rav·el·led

Investigate and solve or explain.

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October 25 (Thursday)

That kind of realization struck Kyung Mi really hard. She was blinking rapidly, partly wondering as to how such a conclusion even entered her head. It was extremely far-fetched, and not many would leap to that kind of idea. Yet there was a type of confidence that seemed to radiate from exclaiming that very sentence. Slowly but surely, the bespectacled girl’s heart was becoming a mix of indecipherable emotions. In the hallway that appeared more and more deserted with each passing second, the bespectacled girl eventually returned her attention to her older sister, Min Jae. The aforementioned female still had her hands pressing against her ears, eyes closed in a most worried manner. Even so, as Kyung Mi didn’t have the actual authenticity to validate her preposterous claim, and so she repeated it.

“Sis…” reiterated the spectacled girl unblinkingly as she removed her sister’s hands from covering her ears. “I’m adopted, right?”

Min Jae, having forced to listen to that statement, nearly spat her answer at the younger. With undeniable frustration and woe, she responded aloud.

“Yes, Kyung Mi,” half-mumbled the nineteen year old unwillingly. “You are adopted.” Han Kyung Mi felt a distinct replay of the past, like the one when she woke up and realized that she could no longer see in colour. This time around, it was to do with her family. It wasn’t only about herself anymore, no longer quite the selfish rant. The bespectacled girl wanted to be angry, to abhor, to detest everything that her older sister was doing when she noted that the motive wasn’t that petty and shallow.

There was just something in the way Min Jae had been portraying herself. Something about how she had been cold towards Kyung Mi throughout her whole life until recently. And the feelings invested in writing the words of apology could not be taken lightly. There were tears too that dampened that photograph, perhaps ruining the ink in time. Finally, the eighteen year old blinked at her rather sullen older sister.

"Min Tae," blurted out Kyung Mi suddenly, and the scimitar-like stare Min Jae gave was impossible.

Kyung Mi was at a loss with this newly dug up information. What could it mean?

“Min Tae, Min Tae, Min Tae…?” echoed the tinted glasses girl aloud, mostly for herself. “Just who…?” There was a vague remembrance, something that was also related to a photograph of some sort. A frown was seen on her face afterwards, for this cryptic family situation was quite unsettling.

“Is Min Tae real…?” wondered the bespectacled girl once again. At last, Min Jae responded.

“I do not appreciate you speaking of my dead sister like that,” snapped the nineteen year old. Kyung Mi noted a new notion that was taking shape in her mind, and her shoulders dropped in unavoidable sadness.

"Your twin sister," concluded the spectacled girl. At least Min Jae had the decency to nod, in spite of the faraway look in her eyes. The younger one knew that she was treading on dangerous ground, but she truly needed to know the things she had forgotten.

"How did she go?" asked Kyung Mi bravely. The nineteen year old sister would not look, but answer she did. "It was a fever that took her away," was all Min Jae had explained, but the younger sister could see that the sadness birthed from this incident was carried on to her own life. Perhaps feeling compelled to continue for the dead one’s sake, the older of the two spoke again.

"She was but seven," barely whispered the older one. "Even then, she was always the better one between us both."

Kyung Mi showed her appreciation for this little sharing, for it was not often Min Jae had done such a thing. Why, it always appeared as though the other hated her, therefore treating her coldly and all. Was it because she was only an outsider to this household? That thought made her feel so horribly insecure on the inside, for it was indubitably true that she, Han Kyung Mi, was raised in a children’s orphanage; a detail once unbothered. Wait — had she any remaining right to refer herself as part of the Han residence? Yet the stunning image of the photograph led her on, and though normally the bespectacled girl would have been fine with this degree of knowledge, this could not afford to be the end.

It broke her heart to say so, but she had to in order to find results.

“So why did you all adopt me?” inquired Kyung Mi softly. The reply was stinging, comparable to an unfortunate brush with wild nettles.

“Our parents did, I didn’t,” responded Min Jae rather bitterly, no longer caring to hide her emotions. “I wanted Min Tae who couldn’t come back. You couldn’t have expected me to entertain a younger sister that I didn’t want.” It was left unsaid, but the younger one especially knew that the older one didn’t want to care because of their non-related status. It was only something claimed to be proven by signing and keeping certain documents. It was being proven right here, however, that one actually chose their family.

“Even so, it’s not like I meant to hurt you…” mused Min Jae quietly. And that confused Kyung Mi.

The bewildered expression on Kyung Mi’s face made Min Jae feel absolutely appalled.

“You mean, you really don’t remember?” asked the nineteen year old closely. The girl who still held the memory inducing photograph shook her head slowly; a genuine action of innocence. Then a great sigh escaped the older one’s lips, which eventually pressed together to form a thin line.

“All this while I’ve been burdened and you’ve never actually known…?” mumbled Min Jae to herself, and a rather deranged laugh was heard afterwards. “Then I’ve been played once again.” This kind of unexpected reaction was disconcerting the tinted spectacled sister, for it looked like a very serious situation was going on for years. Why couldn’t she recall anything else that was as significant as her adopted identity?

“You…” began Min Jae abruptly, the trepidation evident in her voice in spite of her seemingly dauntless demeanour. “You’re not going to thank me for this, but you might as well remember this for good.” High-strung with unexplainable anxiety, the younger one began listening to older one’s selected words. Her words were spoken softly, but they were lethal in disguise.

“As you have not remembered, I never had enough time to get over my twin sister’s death,” said Min Jae softly. “Without seeking out my opinion, they adopted another child for my sake and theirs. I can’t say that their move is not to be regarded, of course, for it’s a good way of trying to make me feel better. It’s only unfortunate that their act caused me to be bitter towards a blameless child like you. I was only seven; there was not much rationale that I could rely on.” Blinking hard, Kyung Mi nodded encouragingly.

“… You really liked me as your older sister anyway, no matter how unfair I was to you,” continued Min Jae with a breathless chuckle. “You must have been a really pure child of six. You followed me everywhere curiously, giving me nicknames like Jae and Min Min. Had you always been in my family, I would have dearly taken care of you…” A wisp of indefinite regret floated in the nineteen year old’s eyes. As for the eighteen year old, the current revelation was considerably mind-blowing. Then, a sharp intake of breath was heard from the older one.

“Then one day, I really got tired of you,” confessed Min Jae. “I disliked how you were replacing my twin sister’s role. I would not accept you as my sister at all. So once, when you were following me around in the backyard, calling me Jae to point out something like a pretty blue bird that flew into our garden… I cracked.” In Kyung Mi’s mind, the apparition of what would have been a blue bird flew past. Had it been but a mere coincidence?

“I turned around and slapped you,” mentioned Min Jae crisply. “I really did. A part of me just wanted to make it clear once and for all that I would never have anything to do with you. Maybe I’ve been too angry, but the impact of that seven year old slap was enough to throw you out of balance. And then…” The nineteen year old’s eyes began to look suspiciously glassy.

“You happened to hit your head with a rock and bled profusely,” rasped Min Jae. “I believe you can figure out the next part to this stupid action of mine.” Kyung Mi noted that the memory of blood now made sense, at the very least. However, did that mean that this bloody incident occurred in the very backyard of the housing compound she was staying in today? Perhaps it was for this reason that her older sister had harboured a certain mien of avoiding it. Then she could almost picture it. Yet the consequence that unfolded after this incident remained jaded and unclear.

“What happened…?” asked Kyung Mi blankly after a good thirty seconds of thinking hard. With that, she had unknowingly stepped on a detonating time bomb.

If it looked like Min Jae was about to shed a tear, that type of emotion was no longer in existence. Instead, it was anger that overtook her.

“Must you always be like this?” finally retorted Min Jae. “Being oblivious to the things that are obvious? Choosing to turn a blind eye? If you think it’s going to help, let me tell you it won’t. I’ve been brainless and desperate enough to do so.” Pausing to inhale enough oxygen, the older one allowed the words to roll off her tongue.

“How do you not remember that I caused you to lose your sense of colour forever…?” reasoned Min Jae painfully. And at last, she permitted herself the honour to cry. That sight was strange for the bespectacled girl, for she had never seen the other doing so before. However, it was of a distant memory that made her feel the right to refute that ridiculous claim.

“The doctors said that achromatopsia is a genetic condition,” started Kyung Mi mildly. “You can’t just assume that…” She had to trail off because she became awkwardly aware that she really sounded like Oh Sehun on a certain night. Min Jae, nevertheless, took this break in her sister’s speech to insert her own ideas about it.

“Sure, you aren’t wrong about that,” declared the nineteen year old behind teary eyes. “But you have to admit that you remember seeing colours until one certain day, right? So that means I caused it when I chose to slap you when I was seven…” The bespectacled girl’s eyes subsequently widened at that, finding it pitiful that one mere move had affected her life so dramatically. So it would probably mean that the hand she had recalled was Min Jae’s during her stay in a supposed hospital, plus the large possibility that the hidden spectre was her older sister’s shadow. And surely, no matter how vague, there were words left lingering in the air that begged for forgiveness.

“Maybe I was afraid that when I apologized, you would scorn me,” admitted Min Jae tiredly. “You have always wanted to be an artist and I had unwittingly crushed that dream. Even so, those two words were and are still heavy for me to say. I know that it shouldn’t be this way, but knowing that I’m the trigger—“ Her words were cut off when Kyung Mi executed a most selfless act. Saddened by her sister’s state, she had done the first thing that came to her mind. It was so simple in the end, but it was just humane to complicate things for nothing. The younger one had hugged the crying older one. Blinking lightly, the spectacled girl smiled before speaking something that remained remembered by the sister.

“I forgive you, Min Jae,” was what the eighteen year old had whispered. “I forgive you for taking on a fault that’s not yours.” The older one was still capable of tearing furiously.

“It is,” she protested emotionally. “So I’m sorry.” Those words, nonetheless, were like music to Kyung Mi’s ears. It was not for herself that she was glad for, but for Min Jae for being finally able to forgive herself and speak those words that she had always tried to.

Abruptly, the bell rang, marking the end of recess time. That kind of wake-up call made both sisters realize in a most flustered manner that they would both be late if they did not hurry. Min Jae hastily wiped her tears away, glad that not many had seen their peculiar confrontation. Packing the last of the items, Kyung Mi only smiled as she returned the photograph to her sister.

“I don’t think you’ll need this anymore,” quipped the younger of the two with a bright smile. The photograph that had once been a bearer of wretched unsaid words no longer served its purpose in that style. The aforementioned girl nodded in agreement, glad that they have come to know each other in a new light. It would take time, but maybe they would be able to grow closer as sisters, regardless of blood ties. As Kyung Mi was about to leave, Min Jae called out to her in a worrisome manner.

“About Gongchan…” trailed off Min Jae in a very soft voice, and Kyung Mi was hurled into a new uncertainty. Was this not the very thing she intended to find out before the revelation about her own family? Would it be worth it to question her older sister of her acquaintanceship with her best friend in spite of their impending lateness to class? Surely it was, but the eighteen year old was tactful enough to realize what her older sister was implying. It was the way she said his name, the manner in which she asked that made it sound like a very serious subject that have been delayed for a long time. It felt like her sister was asking for a certain permission to cross a particular boundary that she had been dreading. Yet what was this feeling — aside the dread — that was taking place? It would almost look like Min Jae knew of Kyung Mi’s feelings towards the said male that was more than just best friends. Then she looked at her sister, bereaved of happiness for a time comparable to a decade because of her own self.

Min Jae’s expression was unreadable beside the detail of her question, but the eighteen year old knew she had to answer. It was something that could no longer be left unattended between the two of them. This tension was about to break everything hinged to it. And she realized with alarming clarity as to what she had to do. It was the only way. Her plain voice echoed down the empty hallway as a response to her older sister’s trisyllabic statement.

“He’s yours,” replied Kyung Mi, turning around promptly afterwards to leave the following scene. Accompanied with an unseen tear, her incipient selfless act was now one hundred and one percent complete upon the utterance of such words.