The population in the cafeteria was bearable, but I still wasn’t used to having many students crammed towards the counter. Or was it only because the cafeteria in our school was much wider in comparison?

“Luhan, I’m sorry.”

I had heard Jimin say it once, and then twice, but I refused to acknowledge the apology. I was wondering how long she was going to stretch her patience - and humility. She was never famous for these two virtues.

“I’m sorry, okay?” She sighed and sank lower in her monobloc chair, staring into her hands. She was idly playing with her bottled water. “I’m sorry. For everything.”

Everything. I held back the urge to mock her. Besides, it’s not I she should be apologizing to. I pulled a nearby chair and twisted it so that when I settled before her, I was leaning against the monobloc’s backrest. From the way she fiddled with the bottle, I could tell how much she’d contemplated about this. Might as well pay attention to her tale.

“I don’t know what I was doing,” she went on. “I never meant for anyone to get seriously hurt or whatever. And I know you can only care less of my true intentions but I think I ought to tell you why.. I mean..” She sighed again, this time accompanied by a certain blush tinting her cheeks. “I met this guy in sixth grade and even though I’d recognized him for a long time already, it was the first time we’d actually talked. We were from the same neighborhood but he and his family lived in the prime lots, you know, those exclusive for the really opulent? Anyway, he was really kind to me. He volunteered to take me home because I had missed my bus and I didn’t have money for a cab and it was raining hard and I’d be dead if I didn’t get home in half an hour and the next bus wasn’t in for another two hours.” She shook her head. “I was so frustrated that I cried under the rain - god, what was I thinking that time? I think he passed me by as he walked to his car and since I recognized him - and also because I was so desperate already - I approached him.”

“You asked for a ride, didn’t you?” I couldn’t stop myself.

She pitched me a frown before looking back down. “Yes, and don’t interrupt because this is my story.”

“Well, let me tell you how demented you were for having asked that guy when you didn’t even really know him. What if he -"

“I know! I know!” She rubbed one arm. “But he didn’t hurt me, okay? He was very kind, in fact, that he didn’t hesitate to accept my request and dropped me to my house on time, safe and sound. Now imagine you’re a girl and Sojin’s a guy and you were in my place and Sojin happened to be that guy and she did that to you.”

“What’s Sojin got to do with this?”

“It’s the analogy that matters, Luhan. Somebody you like suddenly does you a favor - my point is that this guy I was already infatuated with suddenly does me an act of kindness. I was bound to fall for him even more.”

Must I really point it out to everyone that I didn’t only like Sojin?

“It was just some stupid infatuation, really. One that I never believed would make me do terrible things; things against my better judgment, things that made me the horrible person that I am now.”

“Why are you telling me this?” I had absolutely no idea what her elementary infatuation got anything to do with whatever.

“Because that guy was Jongdae’s elder brother,” she exclaimed, facing me at last. “I was crazy about him that I was willing to do awful things for him. I was led to believe that he was making me do it because his pride was hurt and he needed to at least avenge it.”

What pride? “You mean his pride in bullying his younger brother and violating school rules and causing havoc?”

“Shut up, Mister Goody Two Shoes,” she hissed. “He was still the captain of the football team but whom you caused to be ousted. And, yes, that pride.” I scoffed. Jimin ignored it and resumed, softening a little. “I’m sorry about the lost costumes - what was Sojin doing there anyway? And for the ill chocolates that made Yixing sick - those were meant for you by the way. And I’m most especially sorry for the EUM scandal. That was supposed to be a genius plan, you know, but what am I in the face of Sojin’s own genius, right? Gosh, I never thought she’d go to such lengths as hacking the system to trace stuff just to defend you.”

I didn’t realize my jaw had already dropped so low if it weren’t for Jimin giving me a funny look. I snapped out of my stupor. “You do realize you could get expelled if I reported these to the SASD, don’t you?”

Her eyes rolled skyward. “I know you won’t. Even if you will, Sojin won’t allow it.”

I suddenly remembered everything Sojin had told me in the hospital that night after her birthday. She had said it was because of her that I was being constantly placed in trouble. Now Jimin was telling me that it was to avenge Jongdeok’s pride. It didn’t add up.

Another look at Jimin cleared up my confusion. I was stunned. So that was what the commotion was all about in the Juniors lounge yesterday.

“I didn’t know it was all because of Sojin, you know? I always thought it was you he was after for causing his expulsion from the team.” She laughed. It was hollow and marred with bitter realization. “Not once did I think he was only trying to get back at Sojin for rejecting him and choosing you over him. I was so stupid. We weren’t together. I even agreed to date Jongdae to excuse my visits to their home. I was.. hell, I was utterly stupid.” She placed the bottle of water on top of the table beside us. Then she was wringing her hands dry of the dew. “You can only imagine my reaction when Sojin told me yesterday. Well, I guess you don’t have to.” Yes, because I saw and I cringed and I didn’t want to imagine it. “Did you know that was actually how Sojin managed to make me agree to join this stupid hearing?”

“Watch your mouth, Jimin.”

“She said she was going to tell Jongdae if I didn’t agree. She was going to tell him that I’d been using him all this time.”

What the heck?

“It was very unlike her to blackmail me, but she did.”

Yes, indeed. But then again, Jongdae probably already knew; all he needed was confirmation. Men couldn’t be that stupid. “I think Jongdae already had an idea, though,” I said.

She seemed surprised. “You think so?”

“Yeah, we’re not that stupid.” Now that I thought of it, Jongdae did already know, or he wouldn’t have asked Sojin how long she had known. He wouldn’t have asked her to confirm it for him.

Jimin clenched her fists atop her lap. As she unclenched them, she sighed. “I guess you’re right.”

“So whether Sojin told you off on Jongdae or not didn’t really matter.”

Jimin no longer retaliated. She was quiet for a long time as I strived to process her confession. Sojin knew from the beginning about Jimin’s involvement, but she chose not to say anything to both Jimin and Jongdae. Well, until yesterday apparently. I would understand Jimin’s fury. And I would understand Jongdae’s disappointment. But could they really blame Sojin? Sojin was right when she said she had no say in the matter. And besides, Jongdae did always seem sensitive over matters concerning Jimin just as Jimin seemed allergic to Sojin in general.

“I have no right to say this after everything,” Jimin recomm