Chapter 8: Wait For Me

 

 

Why did I say that I love her? It just slipped out like it was natural of me to say it. But I don’t even have basis on why I told her that. Everything that happened that night… Was it all a dream then? No, it can’t be. It felt so real. The way she hugged me… Her warmth… It was the realest thing ever to me.

“Mei mei. Did you even sleep?” I hear Jackie say, snapping me out from staring at the ceiling.

I look up at her. There she is at the upper bed fresh from sleep, looking at me with her brows furrowed. Oh… It’s morning already? I was busy thinking of things that I lost track of time and even forgot to sleep.

“You didn’t… Look at your eyebags!” Jackie half shrieks.

“Uh… Sorry. I think I’m building up insomnia.” I give her a nervous smile.

“When mom finds out about that… You’re so screwed. She’s gonna freak out. So next time I’ll make sure you get some sleep. Got it?”  She says, flicking my forehead.

“Ow! Why does it always have to contain violence?!” I wince in pain, rubbing my forehead.

Jackie’s up and sticks her tongue out at me then she’s off. I sit up and look at my watch, noticing the date. Oh yeah… I forgot. Early tomorrow morning is our flight back to Korea. That’s right. A week has passed since I saw Krystal. I passed by her house a few times last week but I never saw her even once. I’m pretty sure that they’re still there. I see her step-father grumbling about their porch every morning. I also noticed Krystal’s garden slowly withering. I know that she wouldn’t let her garden go like that. What happened to her? I know what will be my mission today. I have to see her for the last time.

“Am… Don’t forget about me. Come find me again.”

Okay maybe not the last time.

 

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I skillfully dodged mom. If she sees my eyes like this… I don’t want a trip to the doctor. I got a new skateboard by the way. I mean a cruiser. The one with all those bright colors and made from vinyl. Of course I got one in red, my favorite color. Anyways, enough about my new board. I skate through the sidewalks of L.A for the last time this summer. I don’t know when I’ll be back. But I know I’ll definitely come back for her.

I pass by her house on my way to the beach. As usual I couldn’t see her.  Her garden still looks untouched. Her precious white roses withered by the days she wasn’t around to take care of them. Did she lose interest in them? I wonder. I decide to just see her this afternoon. I’m sure she’ll be out by then. Besides, it’s still early. Maybe she’s still sleeping. I arrive at the sand laden park and take off my shoes. The sky isn’t blue today though. Judging by the grey clouds above me, it’s going to rain soon. I don’t mind. I love the rain. I find it relaxing rather that a bright sunny day. I sit at the spot where we first met. My second day here in L.A, the day when everything became clear as mud starting from the exact moment our eyes made contact. I smile as I remember how I felt back then. It was a mix of relief and fear. I felt like I’ve missed her all this time.

I feel a presence behind me. It isn’t her.

“Amber?” See? It’s not her voice.

“Hey, Amber.” No. You’re not Krystal. Go away.

“Amber!” A hand pats my shoulder.

I turn to the person, annoyed. My face calms down a little when I saw that it’s the weird girl, Suzy. She gives me a grin and sits beside me.

“Hey. How are you?” She casually says.

Okay…? We just met once when I bumped her while skateboarding but she acts like as if we’ve known each other for a long time. But of course, I’m not rude so… I’ll play along.

“I’m fine. I guess… I’ll be leaving tomorrow though.” I say, shrugging.

“Where are you going?” She asks.

“Back home to Korea.” I reply. Home…? I start to doubt, I wonder why.

“What? But…” She says, trailing off.

“Yeah so I won’t be back for a very long time.” I say.

“Oh you’ll come back then? When?” She asks intently, looking at me.

Why is she even asking so many questions?

“I don’t know. But I’ll come back to find someone again.” I say while thinking of Krystal.

“Who?” She asks, her brows furrowing.

“My princess.” I suddenly blurt out.

I stop myself and my eyes go wide. There I am again, saying things out of nowhere but feeling it’s a natural thing to say. Seriously. I’m starting to think that I have a split personality disorder. I mean sometimes I do and say things I don’t even know. It’s like something deep inside me knows them well but I just don’t know it. What is the meaning of this? Ever since I arrived here I became even more confused of who I am. It doesn’t make any sense. I have this set of skills that I didn’t know I even have. Like gardening and what’s more shocking is that I can wield a sword. I tried it one time when a friend taught me Kendo. But it turns out that I beat him at a sparring match. His mentor asked me if I did Kendo before but I could only reply with a blank face and a confused mind. Then there comes school where I ace history without trying. Like I experienced or witnessed the things that they teach us. Everything up until the start of the battle of Korea. Beyond that, I don’t know anything. I wonder why it’s just until that time. I can’t explain how. It’s like explaining how you move your hand. It just feels natural.

“Your princess?” She asks.

I can only nod.

“Oh…” She says.

Droplets of water start to descend until it reaches a steady pace. I look up and the sky is indeed crying.

“We better go. It’s pouring down.” Suzy says while standing up.

“No, you go. I’ll stay here for a bit.” I say, letting myself get wet.

“What!? No. You’ll get sick. Come on.” She starts pulling my arm.

“You go.” I say without looking at her.

“No! Come on, Amber!” She pulls harder. It makes me snap.

“Didn’t you hear me!? I said I’ll stay here! Leave me alone!” I say, annoyed. It catches her off guard.

She removes her grip, looking at me wide eyed. Her face now stained with hurt. She lowers her head and mutters a soft “I’m sorry” and suddenly runs off. Okay, now I’m a jerk. Amber Josephine Liu, you are a big jerk. She was just concerned about me and I shut her out. Yeah, nice going.

“Stoopid”

My head bolts up. What was that? Did somebody just…? Or I’m just hearing things? I don’t know why but Krystal suddenly comes into my mind right after I heard that word. Is she associated with ‘stoopid’? What? Wait… That reminds me. Krystal!

I stand up, now all wet and sand all over me. The rain continues to pour down as I go to Krystal’s house. The sky is still grey, no sign of the rain planning to stop anytime soon. I continue to walk until I arrive a few blocks from her house. I see a car parked right in front but still running. I see her step-father putting bags inside the trunk. I see a woman holding up an umbrella walk towards the car. Is that her mother? Maybe. She looks around and spots me. I looks right at me for a second then enters the car.

“Move! Quick!” I hear Krystal’s step-father out of nowhere.

I look at their porch and there she is… Krystal.

“I’ve missed you, princess.”  A voice inside me says.

She looks pale. She also lost some weight. What happened to her? I see her step-father shove her down the porch, nearly losing her balance. That makes me angry and I start to stride over to their place. Then suddenly Krystal makes eye contact with me as if she knows all along that I’m there. I come into a halt. She just stares at me with those cat eyes of hers. It’s like she’s sending some kind of message. As usual. She likes to communicate with me using riddles. Our eye contact breaks when her step-father shoves her to walk again. But this time I couldn’t move. I just watch her walk to their car. Time seems to slow down as I watch her. She looks so sad. They’re moving away aren’t they? Meaning I won’t see her again? Is this the reason why she told me to come and find her again?

“Krystal!” I cry out.

She looks at my direction and so does her step-father with alert eyes. There I am, standing in the rain, under the grey sky, looking like an idiot. But I don’t care. Her step-father starts to drag her to the car with haste. She winces in pain from the sudden action.

“No! Amber!” Krystal starts to scream, struggling and feebly trying to get away from his grasp.

Her scream stirs up something inside me. Anger, despair, hurt, sadness, fear and determination. I start to run to their direction, not caring weather I slip or what.

“Not again. Not this.” The voice inside me once again emerges.

She is still forcefully being dragged towards their car, with her calling out for me as her father pulls her arm. She starts to cry. That makes me furious.

“Don’t you dare hurt, Soojung!” The voice inside me screams with rage.

“Amber!” Krystal screams, desperately trying  to look at me while her father blocks me from her sight as he’s trying to force her into the car.

He finally puts her inside and looks at me with threatening eyes. I arrive right after he enters the car. I immediately go to Krystal. Her angelic face stained with tears, looking at me with pleading eyes through the window. I press my hand on my side and she presses her hand on her side in return, as if she's holding my hand. So close, yet so far.

“Krystal… I’ll find you again. I promised right? So please wait for me.” I said out loud so my words could reach her.

She nods and the car starts to accelerate but I still follow their pace by Krystal’s side. I could see her still crying and banging against the window. The car speeds up and I can no longer hold my place by her side. I break into a run, following their car. Krystal is now looking at me through the back window, still crying and calling out my name. They begin to distance but I continue on running. The car speeds up, leaving me behind. Fatigue takes over me. I stop, panting. I look at their car going in the distance. I could still make of Krystal banging and crying against the back window.

I start to cry as I watch her get stolen away from me. The rain masking my tears and matching my despair. I break down to the ground. Sitting in the middle of the deserted road, I’m crying my heart out. I feel that I’ve lost something so precious that it took what’s left of my heart with it. My heart’s already incomplete to begin with. I continue to cry while the rain still has no intention of slowing down. For the first time in my life, I hate the rain.

 

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“Let’s go, mei mei!” Jackie calls out to me.

I’m still looking out the balcony, counting stars. I wonder where she is right now. Knowing that I cried that hard earlier and not caring about how mom scolded me when I got home wet with my eyes puffy. Yeah. I do love her. So it took only a month for Amber Liu to fall in love. No, scratch that. It took only a second. The second we met.

“No. You already love her way before you even met her.” The voice inside me says.

“Right.” I say.

I don’t question why I have these subconscious voices. I know that there is something going on but maybe now isn’t the right time for me to know what it is.

“Seriously. How long are you planning to stand there and keep us waiting?” Jackie comes out of nowhere and tows me out. I bid my aunt goodbye and then I’m off. Here I am again, at the back of the car on my way to the airport. The feeling of wanting to go home at first when I arrived here is replaced by the urge to stop the car and stay. I’d do it only for her. But I know this isn’t the right time to go after her, I shouldn’t be hasty.

“Are you okay, Amber?” My dad asks me from the passenger’s seat.

“Yeah, dad. I’m good.” I fake a smile.

“Did you guys enjoy our stay here?” He asks once again.

“Definitely! Surfing’s way too fun.” Jackie replies with her usual enthusiasm.

“How about you, Amber?” My mom looks at me.

“Yeah. I did.” I fake another smile.

It didn’t fool mom.

 

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After long hours in the airplane, we are now finally setting foot back into Korean soil. The place suddenly feels foreign to me even though this is my homeland.

“Yeaaah! Finally back! Oh my goodness. I missed my bad.” Jackie stretches as soon as she got out of the plane.

We go inside the airport and get our luggage. We go straight home, it was already dark out after all. We arrive at our house and Jackie goes straight into her room, screaming “My bed!” I say goodnight to my parents and enter my room. I open the light and look around. I’ve missed this place. This used to be my only sanctuary. But now… My only sanctuary is halfway across the globe moving to god knows where. I hear a knock at the door. I open and there’s mom smiling at me.

“Can I come in, Amber?” She says.

I nod and let her come in. She sits on my bed and looks around.

“What is it, mom?” I ask, sitting beside her.

“Are you really okay?” She says straight to the point.

I hang my head low. She gets it and pats my back.

“I know something happened back there. It’s fine if you don’t tell me but as your mother, I’m really concerned about you.” She says, looking at me.

“I’m confused mom.” I say.

“About what?” She asks, her voice full of concern.

“About some things. But I can only be sure of one thing.” I reply, fiddling my thumbs.

“What is it?” She once again asks.

It takes me a while to reply but she waited patiently for my reply. I gather my courage to tell her.

“I fell in love.”

“You’re in love.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Aaaaaand there's chapter 8! Yay! I'm sorry if it took me long to update. Internship took most of my time so I'm not the lazy bum that I used to be. LOL. But I do hope you guys like this chapter. Thank you for all your support as always. Really. I appreciate it a lot. Yeah... So...Comments, suggestions and violent reactions are welcome! :D

Anyways...

EHRMAGERD F(X) COMEBACK. DFHSDFSDFJLDKF. I CAN'T EVEN. AMBER'S TEASER IMAGES. I DIED. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY RELEASED THE THIRD ONE. I FELT MY SOUL LEAVE MY BODY. I JUST CAN'T. UGH. AMBER JOSEPHINE LIU, WHY ARE YOU SO PERFECT. KRYSTAL IS SO LUCKY TO HAVE YOU.

(sorry i fangirled here. hahaha. i know you guys would understand. hahahahaha.)