My body throbbed as the dirt and blood got washed away from it. The beating had left me incompetent to shower on my own, so now I lay here in the tub as some girl gently ran water over me to help me.

I looked down at my body and traced the black and blue marks down my limbs. This beating didn’t just do physical damage, but also mentally. My eyes caught the small healed scars that reminded me of the meeting with Kang Dae two years ago.

When I had enough of the sight, I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. Although, I could no longer see the marks, it didn’t do anything to take away every throb or sore I felt.

“Please tell me if I’m hurting you.”

I opened my eyes slowly when I heard the quiet voice. I sent her a smile to assure her. “You’re not, don’t worry.”

She nodded and went back to the task of running the loofa over my arms – making sure to go gently over the bruises and cuts. “Did you fight him?”

“I’m not the type that listens very well.”

“You won’t get hurt if you listen to him.”

I looked up to meet her downcast eyes and heard her voice shook. Her hands stopped their movements and rested on the edge of the tub – they were covered in scars and hardships she had to go through while being here.

“They hurt you a lot, didn’t they?” I asked carefully and softly.

Her lips quivered and she bit down to stop them while her eyes refused to meet mine. I lift my hand out from underneath the water and gently grasped hers. She flinched as my hand made contact but didn’t do anything to pull away.

“They won’t hesitate to kill.” She continued with her shaky voice.

“Even if you tell me that, I can’t just give up.” I started off in a soothing voice, thinking that even if my voice was a bit rougher, she would break down and cry in front of me. She finally lifts her head to look at me. “I think I would be a disappointment if I simply conceded.” Yong Guk is out there doing his best for me so what right did I have to give in?

Her eyes widened. “You’re – “

“Call me crazy.” I shrugged my shoulders and scrunched my face as the pain shot up my back.

“When they see resolve like that, it only makes them want to break it more.” She tried to reason.

And that’s what they were exactly doing to me now. The phone call that Jae Ho received earlier was their beginning steps towards making me submit to them. I blinked back from the thought and a small smile spread on my lips. “But having resolve is a great thing. Although it can break, it also has the ability to build again and become stronger.”

***

I was left alone all morning which I was thankful for. Overnight, my body grew sorer and the last thing I wanted to do was get out of bed. I lay underneath the covers and traced the outlines of the bruises on my arm with my fingertips, lost in thought.

It was easy to say I had resolve but it didn’t take away the fear of not knowing what they were planning to do with me or the next time I was going to go through another horrific beating like that. The effects of which I’m still going through at the moment.

I also didn’t know what Bang and the rest of the boys are going through. Are they taking care of themselves? Are they hurt? I just didn’t know and I continue to grow restless because of the unknown.

My thoughts were interrupted by the knocks on the door. I knew it Jae Ho – others usually didn’t have the courtesy to announce before they entered my room.

“How are you feeling?”

“I could be worse.” A simple movement would send a wash of throbbing so I didn’t bother to move from my position. I listened as his footsteps came closer to my bed. I looked up as he towered over me.

“I tried to get you some ointment.” His face already telling me that it was unsuccessful.

“I’m fine…as long as I don’t move.” Again, I caught the same look on his face. “I have to move, don’t I?”

“Gi Bum and Min Guk are going out today and they want you to come along.”

Nervousness bubbled at the pit of my stomach. “Where?”

“Club Kkum. They want to advertise and right now you’re their pawn.” He sighed. “The good news is, I’ll be there and Daehyun will possibly be there.” I nodded. There wasn’t much I can do but my eyes widened remembering something. “What?” Jae Ho asked.

“I’ve been there before.” I pushed myself up in a sitting pos