I at narrating thoughts. Mehhh.

Saranghae.

Donghae was personally delivered back to his house the very next day despite all his protesting and wailing (“I don’t want to go home!! Hyunggggg please…”). Hyukjae wouldn’t have any of it, though, and that was how the younger ended up sulking profusely on the edge of his bed while the other went through the almost-clean room once more – Donghae accidentally spilled his entire DVD collection on the floor and also managed to get ddeokbukki sauce on the carpet already within the thirty minutes of their arrival – ignoring the mumbled curses spewed at him from the bed. Still, he couldn’t help finding it a little endearing whenever Donghae stuck out his tongue at him if he so much only looked at him.

Knowing about the younger’s past somehow made Hyukjae look at him with a different perception now. Sure, Donghae was still a brat, but now he knew the reason behind it all. As the days passed, Hyukjae found himself growing more and more fond of the insolent brat (“Old man hyung, where the freak did you put Nemo???”). He realized that he now just wanted to see Donghae’s dazzling smile that began to happen more and more often the longer the time they spent together. Well, if together could be defined as Hyukjae nagging non-stop about the constant mess in Donghae’s room while the younger simply scrolled down his playlist with earphones on. Donghae would still mess up parts of his room on purpose, just to annoy Hyukjae. He couldn’t deny that he secretly enjoyed seeing the frustrated look on the elder every time he did that.

After the last incident in the car park, Lee Teuk often dropped by the house when Hyukjae was there, as much as four to five times a week, to check on the gold tree. Not once did he bother checking on Donghae at all, and the latter also didn’t acknowledge his father’s presence, simply choosing to ignore the pang in his heart each time he heard his father speak, mostly over the phone about some stupid business deals. During the times Lee Teuk was home, Hyukjae would stay in Donghae’s room with him for the billionaire’s entire visit. He needed to make sure that Donghae was alright – which the younger always claimed to be, but the lack of eye contact whenever he said it proved otherwise.

Hyukjae knew that Lee Teuk wasn’t a bad person; he was probably just too caught up with his riches – especially the tree – to actually remember that he had a son who needed human affection just as much as anyone else did. What he did that day was totally unforgivable however; the least Lee Teuk could have done was make sure his own son was alright and unscathed before fleeing the scene (probably to bank in the gadzillion dollars on hand). Hyukjae still hadn’t forgiven him for that.

What he did realize though, was that Donghae began hugging Nemo more often than before. Last time, the younger would only hug the deformed fish to sleep every night (Hyukjae spent a few nights over when Donghae claimed to have nightmares) but nowadays he was just bringing the plushie everywhere he went, as long as he was in the house mansion. At first he raised his eyebrow sceptically at that (what happened to the impossible brat he just met over a month ago??) and wanted to ask Donghae about it, but after receiving an absolutely adorable frown from him (honestly, since when did his facial expressions were any of his concern?), refrained him from asking any further.

He couldn’t quite understand the slight stir in his stomach or the grin creeping up his face whenever he thought of Donghae’s pouting face, though.

* * *

It was just like any other regular day and Hyukjae was getting ready to go home, when Donghae gave him another of his pouts, asking him to stay for the night again. Hyukjae wasn’t exactly in the mood to entertain Donghae though, not after he managed to somehow spill what the elder thought was an entire bucket of whitewash in the study (what was it even doing in there??). His clothes were all stained white, including his entire left leg (he stepped right into the paint bucket before tumbling into the study) and he did not appreciate looking like a snowman right in the middle of summer. Things were perhaps going a little too far.

“No, and that’s final,” Hyukjae grumbled, in response to Donghae’s whines. “In case you haven’t noticed, I need to soak myself in some thinner solution for the rest of my life just to get all that paint off.”

“Pleeeeease, I promise not to do that ever again!!” Donghae pleaded, ignoring Hyukjae’s futile attempts to shake him off his other non-whitewashed leg. “I promise promise, double triple promise!!”

“Let go of my leg, Donghae.”

“No!!” Donghae only clutched at his leg even tighter when the elder tried pulling him off so he could leave. Hyukjae grunted and attempted stomping around the room to shake him off but it was hard to move around with a totally grown-up (but mentally five years old) man attached to him. Sometimes he wondered if this guy was actually the same person as the brat-with-an-attitude he first saw in the shop. He definitely did not expect to see this unusually childish side of him at all.

“Why do you want me to stay anyway?” he asked, observing how the younger stiffened just a tiny bit when he asked why.

“Because dad said he’ll be back tonight,” Donghae softly answered, still not letting go of his pants leg.

Hyukjae’s demeanour changed. Suddenly, he felt obliged to stay with him for the night after all.

“Fine, but only because you said ‘please’ and literally begged me to stay,” Hyukjae sighed, features softening when Donghae gave him a grateful lopsided smile.

“Thanks. And I’m sorry.”

He was silent for a while before asking the younger in a gentler voice, who had finally let go of his leg and was now sitting on the floor right next to him. “Are you actually okay like this?”

“Hmm?” Donghae was slightly confused. “Okay with what? I wanted you to stay. Of course I’m fine with—”

“No, I was talking about your dad,” Hyukjae interrupted.

Donghae froze, staring at the other while biting on his lips. “W-what about my dad?”

“Your strained relationship.”

Donghae forced out a laugh, making Hyukjae frown because he knew it was absolutely fake – even a blind person could see it – and it pained him to know.

“What relationship? Isn’t it obvious that he doesn’t give a damn about me anymore? He’s never even greeted me once whenever he’s here to check on his precious little money tree.”

“Maybe he would, if you had greeted him first. He’s still your father after all.”

“Well he doesn’t treat me as a son, so I see no need to treat him as my father either.”

“You… you should be grateful to have a father,” Hyukjae gritted between his teeth, pulling his knees closer to him on the floor.

“He’s no father to me!! The only thing I’m grateful to him for is giving me unlimited allowances but even then it’s the only thing that he’s ever good for; you just don’t know how much I hate him right now—”

“I never knew my father.”

Donghae almost missed the quiet interruption Hyukjae just muttered under his breath. “W-what?”

“I never knew my father.”

“Oh.”

He didn’t know how else to reply. Hyukjae looked no different than usual, but his voice waivered a little; just a little.

“My mom raised me as a single parent and she told me my dad abandoned us when I was only four. What frustrates me most is that I can’t even remember how he looks like.”

“I—I didn’t know.”

“Because I never told you,” Hyukjae said, giving Donghae the slightest of smiles and ruffling his perfectly styled hair, earning a pout in return. “I always envied those kids playing with their fathers in the park during the evening, or even my classmates who had both their parents watching them getting their diplomas from school. I never knew what it was like to have a relationship with a father, taking me on fishing trips, simply playing Frisbee in the park, celebrating birthday together, having father-and-son bonding times and all… I guess I’ll never kno