It was undoubtedly silly for N to believe what— or more accurately, who— he was seeing in front of his very eyes. He'd spent years trying to forget and had almost been successful. Almost. Some part of N had had a feeling that it would only be a matter of time before his past caught up with him. What a cruel trick of fate that that time would be now. All N had wanted was a relaxing break away from Seoul, a quiet moment to reflect on himself and his feelings. He never expected to see Jung now.

His dreams of Jung from recent nights must have been trying to communicate with him. Or warn him.

A shaky breath passed through N's shivering lips. "J-Jung..." The night chilled as he spoke that forbidden name. Unconsciously, he wrapped his thin arms around his body. 

"Hakyeon."

N quivered at the sound of his name on the older boy's lips. Lips that he had once known so well.

"Hakyeon," Jung sighed his name again and took a step foreword.

Almost as if on reflex, N flinched back. Doing so, he tripped on the edge of the sidewalk, catching himself on a streetlight pole for balance. Normally he would be embarrassed. Normally he would try to laugh it off. But right now N's heart was too full for such a useless emotion. And as he steadied himself, Jung's eyes were on him, never unfocusing. The midnight haired boy looked slightly dazed, as if he believed he were dreaming. N tried— but failed miserably— not to stare back into his eyes.

"W-What are yo-u doing h-here?" N barely managed to force the words past his chattering teeth. Truly it wasn't that cold. But something about Jung's gaze chilled N down to the bone.

Jung studied him a moment longer before finally replying. "I can't believe you're really here."

That wasn't what I asked, N wanted to say. However, in such a moment, he couldn't make himself. He could only gawk at his former lover like an idiot, memories of the past and his present sight colliding.

"You're right in front of me," the older boy continued despite not answering N's question. "I can... actually touch you." And as he said these words, he pulled a very shocked and shivering N into his arms.

N stood rigid. He had been stunned by Jung's familiar scent. He still wears the same cologne. The cologne I bought him for his birthday. Why did he still wear it? Didn't it remind him of the past? Didn't he want to forget the pain just as much as N did? He couldn't take it anymore. N hated that he could still remember Jung's favorite song and the name of his first dog. He hated that he could remember every exact detail of Jung's long piano fingers. Hated that he remembered how those finger felt when they caressed his skin. Absolutely hated that he couldn't forget the light in Jung's eyes anytime he would look at him.

He hated it.

And it was all rushing back into N's mind like a wrecking ball as he stood motionless in Jung's arms. Even after all of this time, why couldn't he bring himself to despise the older boy? After all that's happened, why?

Weakly, N tried pushing the all too familiar body away. He was mildly surprised when Jung willingly let him go. Even so, there was only about a foot between them. Once again N wrapped his arms around himself, but this time it wasn't for warmth. His skin felt like it was on fire everywhere Jung had touched him. No, N held himself because he was afraid of falling apart. He needed to stay together long enough to get away. Deciding it was best not to meet eyes with his ex lover, N kept his gaze glued to the cracks in the cement sidewalk.

"I thought about it," Jung said abruptly, finally observing the starry sky instead of N. "For years I thought about what I did to you. But I had already known that it wasn't right... From the start I... I knew it was wrong of me to hurt you. But I couldn't help it, I couldn't control myself! And every time I did it I—" He suddenly cut himself off, peering at the ground in despair. Tense fists dangled at his sides.

N worked up the courage to peek at Jung's face, but his midnight colored bangs were covering his eyes. Not knowing quite what to say, N stood in silence. He just couldn't process what he was hearing. Jung was... apologizing?

"Hakyeon, I... Even after all that's happened, I've always—"

"N!" An outraged voice wailed from further down the street. N whirled around to see Leo stomping his way towards them. Leo?! But why—

Before N could let out a coherent thought, Leo's fist connected to Jung's jaw with a sickening crack. In that split second, he could tell that Jung had seen the punch coming, but did nothing to stop it. The eldest boy fell to the ground without so much as a whimper. Far from satisfied, Leo prepared himself to deal a second punch.

N shrieked in terror, "Leo, don't! Please stop!" He felt an arm slither around his waist and fought desperately against it before realizing who it was. In his panic, N hadn't noticed that Ravi had been a step behind Leo the whole time. "Ravi, let me go! Stop him from doing something he'll regret!"

Ravi was clearly conflicted by the situation. He furrowed his brows in frustration but made no move to release his leader. "Leo hyung!" he called out worriedly to the older boy.

Leo froze, deadly hand suspended in mid air. It was written all over his face how much he wanted to kill Jung— who didn't seem to be putting up a fight.

"Ravi..." Leo spoke through his teeth, attempting to control himself. "Take N back to the hotel. He's dealt with enough tonight."

"But—"

The usually stoic boy whipped his head around to glare at Ravi. "Just do it."

Ravi reluctantly complied, forcefully dragging his resisting hyung down the street.

xxx

Ravi didn't know what to do. Should he be questioning his leader about the dramatic and suspicious scene? Or should he be comforting him? He awkwardly stood by the doors, watching as N quietly sobbed on the bed. Never before had he seen the older boy in such a state. It was always N cheering up the other members. N who was always obnoxiously positive. But... that must have been one of the reasons that... Ravi had fallen in love with him.

Finally Ravi decided to sit at the edge of the bed. He daringly pulled N up and into his embrace. Trying to rubbing soothing circles onto the elder's lower back, Ravi listened to the sound of his breathing. It was jagged and shaky, his teeth chattering together as he trembled. Ravi could tell N was trying so hard not to let out louder sobs of pain.

"I don't know..." Ravi began, "what happened between you two. But what I do know is that I don't need to. I'll be right here by your side anytime you want me. How I've been acting lately doesn't really show it, but... I care about you. And I want to protect you. Whether that be from him or someone else, or even yourself," he paused, not sure if N was even understanding his message. All he wanted for N to be okay, to be safe, and to never again look as broken as he did when they had found him.

Ravi felt his hyung began to relax into his arms. He couldn't help but smile despite the situation. N buried his nose deep into the crook of Ravi's neck, inhaling slightly.

"I want you."

"What was that?" The rapper asked with a start.

"I want you here by my side, Wonshik. Just for now... please don't let go."

Ravi felt his heart beat spike at the whispered sound of his name. He complied happily, laying his back onto the bed with N tucked snuggly in his arms. As he let his hand run through the elder's chocolate locks, Ravi wondered what would've happened if they hadn't gone to find N.

"He's taking kind of a long time, isn't he?" Ravi asked, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt in a nervous fashion.

"Ugh," Ken groaned at his side. "I knew I should've gone with him. I mean, look! It's already well past dark."

The VIXX members all looked at each other with concern. Their leader wasn't the worst with directions, but he definitely wasn't the best. They shouldn't have let him go off by himself in a foreign country. And as that thought passed through them, Ravi began to feel bitterly sick. He'd had a bad feeling since the moment N stepped foot off the beach. He just hadn't said anything because... well, he'd became a chicken around his leader.

As the sick feeling continued to press through Ravi's stomach, he shot up from his seat. "I'm going to look for him."

"No, you're not," said a stern, yet quiet, voice. Ravi didn't have to look to know who had spoken.

"What if something bad happened to him?" he spat at Leo, who was perched on a beach towel. He didn't look the least bit concerned. Even now he couldn't be bothered to wipe the stoic mask off his face. The thought made the rapper's blood boil. "I don't give a damn if you don't want me to go. That convenience store is right by that club we went to. We don't know what kind of creeps go there that might pick some kind of fight with N hyung." His thoughts carried him back to the boy he'd met. Ravi couldn't seem to figure out just what his hyung meant to this Junghee person.

Leo seemed to realize something as he glared at Ravi. The younger, however, couldn't care less. He turned and began to run from the bed, leaving behind a worried looking Hongbin. Hearing footsteps behind him, Ravi turned to see Leo following.

"I'm coming with you," he muttered almost inaudibly.

Ravi wanted to roll his eyes, but there was no time for that. The two of them dashed down the lantern lit street. Both of them only having N's safety on their minds. When they finally reached the desired street, they stopped dead in there tracks.

It was that boy again. The one Ravi had met at the club. Junghee. He was stand too close to N, who arms hugged his own chest as if in pain. And besides his shivering, he wasn't moving at all. N's gaze was fixated on the ground as the boy spoke. And when he looked at N, Ravi could understand the emotion leaking though his tired looking eyes.

Is N hurt? Ravi wanted to scream. He wanted to run to the older boy, but he was in a state of shock. Before Ravi could even blink, Leo cry out N's name in rage. Almost faster than the rapper could register, Leo punched Junghee, sending him falling to the ground.

Ravi just didn't understand. Who was this boy? Why, even in this situation, did Leo seem to have such angry towards him? What had happened between the three of them? He just... couldn't understand.

Ravi continued to the smaller boy's fur-like hair in thought. He had already fallen asleep and was now breathing steadily. Though he'd wanted to stay awake to wait for Leo, Ravi felt his eyes drooping. Despite everything that happened between N and Ravi, the younger boy had been craving his hyung touch. Even something as simple as sleeping in his arms, made warmth seep into his being.

I need you.

Giving in to the call of sleep, Ravi let himself drift into a dreamless slumber.

xxx

He'd said he hadn't done anything to hurt N. He said that he'd only wanted to talk after so many years. But who in the world would believe that bull crap? Certainly not Leo. Besides N and Jung himself, Leo was the only one that knew about what happened. He was the only one who had seen the two of them fall apart. And only he had seen the after effects.

Jung had broken N in more ways than one. It had become a sickening habit for N hold his arms across his body. Leo knew it was a protection mechanism. It was obvious how the older boy had tried to shield himself from other people, how he had tried to hold himself together. And it had always killed Leo to know that N never blamed his once boyfriend. Never had he said an ill word about Jung.

Leo didn't get it. But as time passed he didn't really need to. He had let himself forget about Jung, just as N had. They soon after met the rest of the their VIXX members. All that mattered to Leo anymore was his own feelings for N. Never had he expected that the older boy would be able to heal without his assistance. No, he hadn't needed Leo anymore. 

Not after meeting Ravi.

Leo knocked on the door to his hotel room, knowing that Hyuk was inside with the only key. The door quickly swung open, revealing a very worried looking Hyuk. "Where were you, hyung?" he whined and pulled Leo inside the room.

Leo shook his head to indicate he wasn't in the mood to talk. But clearly, that wasn't good enough for the maknae.

"You found N hyung, right? What happened? You're back so late and I thought that something might have—"

"He's okay," Leo muttered, trying not to let the irritation seep into his voice. It wasn't Hyuk's fault that N and Ravi were probably alone together right now. Somehow the quiet boy knew that Ravi would be able to comfort their leader more than he could. The realization made Leo want chuck his bed out the window. "He's with Ravi. They came back before me."

"What? But they didn't say anything to the rest of us!"

Leo sighed. There was no way he could explain to the maknae what had happened tonight. "Leave them be for now. I'm sure N's pretty tired."

Hyuk nodded slowly, although it looked like he wanted to say something else. Instead he plopped down onto his bed. Leo didn't miss the way his eyes skimmed the floor in a depressing manner. He had yet to ask the younger boy why he was even in his room. All day Hyuk had stuck to him rather than Hongbin. It wasn't that Leo minded very much— he was fond of Hyuk. He just knew that something was wrong.

"If you did something bad, apologize," was all he said. The maknae stared at him in surprise.

"To who, hyung?"

"To Hongbin." Leo watched as string of emotion passed quickly across the younger's face. Hyuk settled on hurt as he shook his head.

"I can't. Hongbin hyung hates me now." He shook his head again, locks of hair falling into his eyes. "I just can't talk to him."

Leo sat down on his own bed and rested his head on a pillow. Honestly, he didn't feel like dealing with anyone else's drama at the moment. This had to be the worst timing. But he hated to see Hyuk look so helpless and he knew this would effect the whole group. Leo tried meeting eyes with the younger boy, but his eyes were stuck on the wooden floor.

"He doesn't hate you. Hongbin isn't capable of that." Leo could see Hyuk shaking his head once more. "It doesn't matter what happened, Sanghyuk. You can always fix it. I'm sure you know what you did wrong. You've been staring at Hongbin guiltily the whole day."

Hyuk flushed a light shade of pink. "No, I haven't!" he tried to deny.

"Hyuk, tonight is our last night here. Promise me that you'll talk to him the moment we arrive in Korea," Leo ordered sternly.

The maknae hesitated for a moment before nodding his head in agreement.

"You promise?"

"Yes... I promise."

Aaaaaaaand that's a wrap VIXX lovers~!

Woo, I managed to crank this chapter out early! I'm getting lazier when it comes to proof reading (I only did half. I'll come back to it lol). Pretty soon you guys can look forward to the revealing of N's past with Jung! I'm so excited~ :DDD

​Anyway, the majority of you want this story to be Rated M so I think it will be. But I'll only make it M Rated once I write a more adult scene :P Sounds fair?

I've got another poll for you guys! I'm really curious about your opinions so I think I'll do this more often. So here's the poll for this chapter:

Don't forget to COMMENT and SUBSCRIBE if you haven't ~<3 UPVOTING always helps too~!!

Until next time!