It was hot on the dance floor. Hyuk's bangs were sweaty and plastered to his forehead. His cheeks and ears were red with excitement. This was the first time he'd ever stepped foot in a club. Age had always restricted him from going with his hyungs. But now Hyuk was legal, swaying in the sea of bodies... with Hongbin pressed against him.

Hongbin was quite obviously tipsy, maybe even drunk. His chocolate eyes were hazy, unfocused, and his movements were almost dizzy. They had moved away from the bar because Hyuk had told his hyung he wanted to dance. Now he was wondering if that had been such a good idea. The young boy felt slim, yet lightly muscled, arms slip around his waist and he tensed. This was definitely heading in a direction he hadn't been expecting. Hongbin— who Hyuk now ruled as totally drunk— pulled his dongsaeng into his embrace.

Hyuk could almost feel the cut of Hongbin's muscled abdomen on his back. The handsome boy's breath tickled his ear and neck. Quickly, the maknae glanced around to see if his other hyungs had noticed their position. N and Ken were preoccupied, swinging their hips around in a craze. Ravi still sat at the bar. He was speaking with a boy Hyuk didn't recognize. And Leo stood still as a statue against a wall, refusing to participate in the "clubbing" activities.

At this point, it was clear that Hyuk was trapped. He could feel Hongbin's hands wandering down, then edging back up and around his chest. Oh my god! What is he doing? Hyuk thought wildly to himself. Was this only a result of the alcohol? Would Hongbin touch anybody like this if he was drunk? Somehow, the VIXX maknae really didn't like the thought of that.

"H-Hyung," Hyuk said when he'd finally worked up the courage. "What're you doing?"

"Hmmmmm?" came the drunken reply. "What do yoooou mean, Hyukkie? I'm just feeling arounnnnd." And with that said, his hands traveled lower. Hyuk let out a muffled squeak. Teeth brushed against the base of his neck, sending a shiver down to his toes. A second later the teeth were replaced with something else. Something warm and wet.

Hyuk's eyes widened as he realized what was happening. However, he didn't make any move to stop the older boy. The reason he told himself was that he didn't want to make a scene in the middle of the dance floor. But the more honest part of himself knew that he was enjoying this. And that scared him... very much. Despite that, Hyuk heard himself moan when Hongbin began to on his neck. Quickly, he covered his mouth, fingertips tingling. Did he just make that sound? That intensely sound?

Before Hyuk could be lost in the confusion and pleasure that plagued him, he noticed Ravi walking towards them. Panicked and in a hast, the maknae untangled Hongbin's arms from his waist, pushing him away. Ravi appeared by their side not even a second later. Hyuk held his breath, hoping his hyung hadn't noticed anything unusual.

"Come on, guys. We're leaving," said Ravi, catching the two boys off guard.

"Why so soon, hyung?" Hyuk was relieved but thought he should ask anyway.

Ravi shook his head, eyeing the crowd around them. "We've been here long enough."

xxx

It was definitely surprising that Hyuk had managed to drag Hongbin back to the hotel. Though he was a tad bit shorter, Hongbin was slightly more built and heavier to carry. However, they'd made it back none the less. After their incident on the dance floor Hongbin hadn't made anymore passes at the younger boy. Hyuk wasn't sure if he was glad or disappointed. Honestly, he craved Hongbin's attention like he craved air. It was a need.

That scary part of Hyuk didn't want to go back to being "just friends" when his hyung sobered up. Sighing, the maknae helped Hongbin into bed. This was his own fault. He knew he was being difficult about this. Ever since that night in the company car— that now seemed so long ago— Hyuk's feelings began to change into something foreign. He just couldn't except it! It was impossible to go from being straight to gay, wasn't it?

Hyuk shook his head and climbed into his own bed. He knew he would probably be up all night worrying. How much would Hongbin remember in the morning? Would his hickey disappear by then? The maknae hadn't looked in the mirror yet, but he knew he didn't need to. The skin on his neck where Hongbin had was raised and swollen. It was hateful to admit, but Hyuk was too scared to look at it. That would make everything real... including his feelings for his hyung.

Ugh, just forget about it and sleep! Hyuk squeezed his eyes shut and pulled his blanket over his shoulders. His body was shivering though the room wasn't cold.

"Hyukkie, move over," came a deep voice from behind him. The maknae jumped, knowing exactly who it was.

"Go to bed, hyung. I think you're drunk."

Hongbin frowned and his dimples popped out a little. "I'm not drunk," he said defensively, now only slightly slurring his words. "Come on, scoot over."

Hyuk sighed, but did as he was told. He moved all the way to the edge of the bed. It seemed like a good idea to put as much distance as possible in between them. Hongbin slipped under the covers with ease. His face was still slightly flushed from the alcohol but he otherwise seemed to be sobering up. "Do you need some water?" Hyuk asked, unable to endure the silence of the room.

Hongbin shook his head, muttering that he was fine. Despite Hyuk's efforts to keep the two of them apart, the older boy wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into a cuddle. For a moment he was quiet, resting his cheek on his maknae's forehead. But then he sighed and Hyuk knew something was coming.

"We need to talk," was all he said. Hyuk nodded in understanding though that was the last thing he wanted to do. Why couldn't they just avoid this topic? They didn't need to have everything figured out. They were only boys. Most people their age still didn't have themselves understood. And Hyuk was terrified by the subject of his uality. He'd rather just ignore his problems and hope they melt away.

"I'm listening."

"Hyukkie, I... We..." The older boy groaned, unable to find the right words. "Did you feel it? When we were in the company's car that night. I mean, didn't you feel... some type of way?"

Way to be specific.

"I really don't know what you're trying to say," Hyuk lied. This would have to be avoided for as long as possible. Even if Hyuk felt "some type of way" about Hongbin, what would they do about it? If that feeling was mutual, their problems would only double. VIXX could never find out about it. And neither could their fans.

Hongbin eyed him knowingly. "Yes, you do." The dimpled boy repositioned himself so that his face was centimeters away from Hyuk's. Their noses nearly brushed together. Hyuk's eyes widened like watermelons but he didn't dare move. "When we were like this in the car, you didn't feel anything? I... I did."

"What did you feel?" Hyuk pushed the words past his lips despite being terrified of the answer he'd receive.

"I felt like I wanted to kiss you."

xxx

"So is this what you meant when you said N hyung has been through a lot?" Ravi spat as soon as the door to their hotel room shut.

Leo looked at Ravi with a slightly shocked expression but said nothing. There was no way his dongsaeng could have found out anything, right? The only ones that even knew who Jung was were Leo and N. Instead of freaking out, Leo decided to ignore the younger boy. Opening his suitcase, the quiet boy searched for a pair of pajamas. Once he found them, he threw them on his bed.

"I'm talking to you," Ravi said, no less angry. When the older boy made no move to respond, Ravi clenched his fists. "He said... He said he was someone important to N. He said that there's a secret you two are hiding from the rest of us."

At that, Leo had to grimace. There was only one person the VIXX rapper could be talking about. Jung. And it was true. They were hiding something from the rest of VIXX. But it wasn't as though they wanted to. It was necessary to forget about what happened if they ever wanted to move on from the past. "Junghee is a nobody. There's no truth in anything he says," Leo finally responded. Only, he wasn't sure if what he had just said was a lie or not. Myung Junghee was incapable of telling the truth, yes. But at the same time, what he'd told Ravi was true.

Ravi scoffed, shaking his head slowly in disbelief. "He's a nobody? Then why did he seem to know you two so well? This 'Junghee' person called both of you by your first names. You know, this would be a lot easier if you would just tell me the truth!"

"I told you before that this is none of your business!" Leo snapped. He managed to startle Ravi into silence. "Don't you dare say a word about this to N. He's got enough on his plate already. He's exhaust and needs this vacation more than any of us. You swore you would never hurt N and this is your chance to prove it. If you care about him, you won't say a word. Understand?"

Ravi couldn't manage to retort. That was the most he'd ever heard his hyung say at once. And to top it off, he had been speaking about N. "Hyung," the younger boy began before he could stop himself, "do you love him? Are you in love with N hyung?"

Silence. Then a tired response. "Aren't you?"

"Answer the question."

"Yes," Leo said reluctantly. "I'm in love with him... And I refuse to let you hurt him."

xxx

"W-What?" Hyuk asked, fully knowing his voice was shaking. He couldn't seem to control himself though. Not with Hongbin's intense eyes inches away from his.

Hongbin didn't hesitate a beat in his response. "I wanted to kiss you that night... and everyday that came after. I just couldn't figure out how you felt."

Hyuk bolted up from the bed. In order to call himself he pressed his back against the hotel room wall. This was all moving way too fast for him to follow. What his hyung was saying just didn't make any sense! He had wanted to kiss him? As in, Hongbin— beautiful and kind and somehow always distant— had wanted to kiss him? The VIXX maknae knew he was nothing remotely special.

He was awkwardly tall for his age and without a scrap of muscle. Although N would disagree, Hyuk didn't see himself as being the cute maknae he was supposed to be. And that was the exact type of girl that deserved to stand by Hongbin's side. Someone cute and kind and... a girl. Hyuk was wrong for his hyung in every way. And Hongbin was wrong for him.

"I'm not ready to talk about this, hyung," Hyuk found himself blurting out. "I just... I just can't."

The dimpled boy sat up from the bed irritatedly. "Then when are we going to talk about it? We can't just ignore what happened!"

"Why not?"

Hongbin expression turned into icy stone as he listened to the desperation in Hyuk's voice. "What're you so afraid of, Sanghyuk?"

Hyuk flinched at the sound of his full name on the other boy's lips. Hongbin only called him 'Sanghyuk' when he was truly upset. And right now, the older boy looked a lot more than upset— he looked hurt. "I-I'm not afraid!" Hyuk lied. "I just can't force myself to talk to you! I'm not prepared for this yet."

"I don't get it. You're making this so much more complicated than it needs to be."

"Hyung, please. Just drop it now, okay?" Hyuk practically begged. His face was red with stress and embarrassment. Somehow even Hyuk couldn't find a reason for his desperation to avoid talking to Hongbin. This talk was necessary. But if they had it... everything would change. Hyuk himself would change. These emotions were too jumbled and contradicting for him to understand. He was only a boy.

Hongbin shook his head furiously. "No, we're talking about this now—"

"I'm not gay!" Hyuk shouted in frustration. However, as soon as the words were out he regretted them. Quickly he cupped a hand over his mouth. Stupid, stupid! Hyuk's mind screamed at him.

His hyung didn't respond to that for a while. Slowly, Hongbin's eyes traveled to the floor in numbed shock. Hyuk didn't know what to do. Clearly his words had disturbed Hongbin, making him freeze into a stunned silence. The room remained soundless for what felt like hours. And when the maknae was finally about to say something, Hongbin stood. His eyes were still on the ground, his bangs covering most of his face— but Hyuk could tell he was vexed.

"Sanghyuk, get out," he snapped in a voice so hard it was scary.

"Get out?" Hyuk protested. "But—"

"Get out!"

Without another word the VIXX maknae dashed for the door. He felt it slam immediately behind him, leaving him utterly alone in the dimly lit hallway. All there seemed left to do was cry. And so Hyuk did. He slid to the dusty floor and bawled his eyes out. He cried for his stupidity and confusion. He cried over how cowardly he was. He cried for the burden weighing heavily on his heart.

And most of all, Hyuk cried for the loss of his dear friend.

It was over.

Don't hate me VIXX lovers~

Sorry for torturing poor Hyukkie~! I just couldn't help it! But things will get better... eventually... Haha. Why does this chap feel so short? T_T

​So, how was the beginning scene with Hyukbin?? Please respond in the COMMENTS! Now I know that I'm a crap writer at any kind of intimate moment.

Anyway, please subscribe, upvote, and all that good stuff! I love reading all the wonderful comments I receive :3

Until next time!